Travelling— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Improve grammatical accuracy and reduce repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct articles and word order, and avoid repeating the destination. Add one specific supporting detail with a linking phrase. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

Example: Yes, I usually sit by the window when I travel because I enjoy the scenery. For example, last month on the bus to Bandung I deliberately bought a window seat so I could watch the fields and hills pass by. This made the trip much more enjoyable.

Suggestion: Reduce hesitations and improve tense and article use. Give one clear example and use linking words (for example, because) to explain why you take photos. Keep sentences concise and avoid repeating the same point.

Example: Definitely. I often take photos of scenes that catch my eye. For example, on my trip to Bandung I photographed a beautiful mountain because the light and clouds made it look especially dramatic.

Suggestion: Remove filler words and improve sentence cohesion. Start with a direct preference sentence, then give two specific reasons connected with linking words (because, and). Use precise vocabulary (calm, fresh sea breeze, waves).

Example: I prefer the sea to the mountains because I find it more relaxing. The sea offers a calm atmosphere and fresh sea breezes, and I enjoy watching the blue water and listening to the sound of the waves.

× Yes, of course, when I travel I like a sitting near the window and I can enjoy the breathtaking view.

✓ Yes, of course, when I travel I like sitting near the window and I can enjoy the breathtaking view.

The phrase 'a sitting' incorrectly uses the indefinite article before a gerund. Use the gerund 'sitting' without an article to express the activity. Suggestion: remove 'a' before 'sitting'.

× For example, last month when I went to the Bandung, I bought the ticket near the window, so I enjoy my journey to the Bandung.

✓ For example, last month when I went to Bandung, I bought a ticket by the window, so I enjoyed my journey to Bandung.

Use of the definite article 'the' before place names like Bandung is incorrect unless the name requires it. Also 'bought the ticket near the window' is awkward: use 'a ticket by the window'. Tense consistency: narrative about last month should use past tense 'enjoyed'. Suggestions: remove 'the' before Bandung, use 'a ticket by/next to the window', and keep past tense.

× Definitely yes, I take some picture that attract my attention, such as when I uh, such as when I went to Bandung uh, I saw there is a mountain, a beautiful mountain, so I take a picture uh, this mountain.

✓ Definitely yes, I take some pictures that attract my attention. For example, when I went to Bandung I saw a mountain, a beautiful mountain, so I took a picture of that mountain.

'Picture' should be plural 'pictures' to match 'some'. Relative clause needs plural agreement: 'pictures that attract'. Also tense inconsistency: past events should use past tense 'went', 'saw', 'took'. Use 'a mountain' not 'there is a mountain' in past narrative. Use 'picture of that mountain' for correct preposition.

× I also, uh, take some pictures.

✓ I also took some pictures.

This sentence continues a past narrative, so present tense 'take' is incorrect. Use past tense 'took' to keep tense consistent. Suggestion: use past tense when describing completed past actions.

× Honestly, I prefer uh, sea, uh, rather than mountain because I like the, uh, tranquil place.

✓ Honestly, I prefer the sea rather than the mountains because I like tranquil places.

Use articles and plural forms correctly: 'the sea' and 'the mountains' (or 'mountains'). 'Tranquil place' is general; 'tranquil places' or 'a tranquil place' fits better. Suggestion: use 'the' with specific natural features and keep number consistent.

× The tranquil place in which I can uh, get fresh air, uh, see the blue water and sound uh.

✓ A tranquil place where I can get fresh air, see the blue water, and hear the sounds.

Use 'where' rather than 'in which' for natural speech. 'See the blue water' is fine; 'sound' should be 'hear the sounds' or 'hear the sound of the waves' — verb 'hear' needed. Also choose article 'a tranquil place' for an example. Suggestion: use 'where' and appropriate verbs ('hear') and pluralize 'sounds' or specify the sound.