Perfume— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid fragmented sentences and odd word choices (e.g., “wood, cotton” — use “woody or floral” scents). Keep to under five sentences.

Example: Yes, I do. I collect different types of scents—mainly woody and floral perfumes—because certain fragrances make me feel both relaxed and uplifted. For example, a floral scent calms me after a busy day, while a woody scent boosts my mood.

Suggestion: Improve grammatical accuracy and coherence. Use a clear topic sentence and link reasons with cohesive language. Replace awkward phrases like “show up. Shiny.” with a single clear idea (e.g., “feel more confident and present”).

Example: Yes, I wear perfume every day because it helps me feel more confident and put-together. For instance, I spray a light citrus scent in the morning to feel fresh and focused at work.

Suggestion: Make your response grammatically correct and give a specific alternative. Start with a direct answer, then briefly explain why and offer a clear example of another gift. Correct comparative forms and article usage.

Example: Not usually. Perfume can be quite expensive and personal, so I prefer giving small practical gifts instead. For example, I might choose a nice pen or a stationery set that’s useful and less risky.

Suggestion: Clarify vocabulary and sentence structure. Use correct terms (e.g., “niche perfumes”) and explain why prices are high with a linked reason. Avoid incomplete concluding sentences.

Example: Yes, I do. Luxury and niche perfumes are often expensive because buyers pay for brand reputation, rare ingredients, and unique packaging. As a result, these fragrances can cost considerably more than mass-market options.

× I really like perfume, so I have a lot of perfume like wood, cotton or flower perfume because it makes me feel more.

✓ I really like perfume, so I have a lot of perfumes, such as woody, cottony, or floral scents because they make me feel better.

The student used 'a lot of perfume' (uncountable) then listed types which should be plural 'perfumes' or 'scents'. Also word forms 'wood', 'cotton', 'flower' should be adjectives describing scents (woody, cottony, floral). 'It makes me feel more' is unclear; 'they make me feel better' agrees in number with 'perfumes/scents'. Suggest using plural when listing multiple types and appropriate adjective forms.

× Excited and relaxed, so I like it.

✓ I feel excited and relaxed, so I like them.

The original is a sentence fragment starting with adjectives 'Excited and relaxed' without a subject and verb. Also 'it' disagrees with plural 'perfumes' mentioned earlier. Correct by adding a subject and verb ('I feel') and matching pronoun number ('them').

× I usually use my perfume every day because it makes me feel more confidence and helped me show up.

✓ I usually use perfume every day because it makes me feel more confident and helps me show up.

Mixes tenses: 'helped' is past but context requires present habitual 'helps'. 'More confidence' should be the adjective form 'more confident' to modify 'feel'. Also 'my perfume' can be 'perfume' generally; keep present simple for habitual actions.

× it makes me feel more confidence

✓ it makes me feel more confident

'Confidence' is a noun; after 'feel' we need an adjective ('confident') to describe the subject's state. Use 'more confident' to indicate increased degree.

× and helped me show up. Shiny.

✓ and helps me show up confidently.

Fragment 'Shiny.' is unrelated and unclear. 'Helped' should be present 'helps' and combine with an adverb 'confidently' to express manner. Remove 'Shiny.' which does not fit context.

× Not really because perfume is much expensive than other gift so I would give a something gift like pencil accessory.

✓ Not really, because perfume is much more expensive than other gifts, so I would give a small gift like a pencil accessory.

Errors: comparative structure requires 'much more expensive than'. 'Other gift' should be plural 'other gifts'. 'Give a something gift' is ungrammatical; use 'a small gift' or 'a simple gift'. Add article 'a' before 'pencil accessory'.

× perfum is much expensive than other gift

✓ perfume is much more expensive than other gifts

Use singular 'perfume' as a general noun or 'perfumes' as plural; the comparative needs 'more' before 'expensive'. 'Other gift' must be plural 'other gifts' when comparing categories.

× like pencil accessory

✓ like a pencil accessory

Missing indefinite article 'a' before a countable singular noun. Use 'a pencil accessory' or 'pencil accessories' depending on meaning.

× Especially luxury brand or niche popium are quite expensive because customer pay the brand value and the brand power.

✓ Especially luxury brands or niche perfume houses are quite expensive because customers pay for brand value and brand power.

'Luxury brand or niche popium' has noun form and spelling issues: use plural 'brands' to match 'are', 'niche popium' should be 'niche perfume houses' or 'niche perfumes'. 'Customer pay' needs plural 'customers pay' and include preposition 'for' in 'pay for'.

× niche popium

✓ niche perfume (or niche perfume houses)

Spelling error and wrong noun form: 'popium' is incorrect; use 'perfume' or 'perfumery'. 'Niche' modifies 'perfume' so use 'niche perfume' or 'niche perfume brands'.

× So I think perfume.

✓ So I think perfume is expensive.

Sentence fragment missing verb and object complement. Add 'is expensive' to complete thought and match context.