Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a complete, fluent sentence that directly answers the question, avoid sentence fragments, and add a brief detail about your role. Use a linking word if you add more information. Keep it to 1–3 sentences.

例: I'm currently working full-time at a high-tech hardware company in Shenzhen. I work in product development, focusing on camera accessories for smartphones.

提案: Answer the question clearly with one topic sentence naming the company type and location, then add a specific detail about the products using a linking word. Avoid trailing off and finish your thought. Keep it under five sentences.

例: I work at a high-tech hardware company based in Shenzhen. It develops photography devices, such as LED lights and camera rigs for mobile phones.

提案: Start with a clear opinion, then support it with two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because/and). Use more natural phrasing (e.g. “above average” not “over average”). Keep it concise.

例: Yes, it's a good place to work because the office environment is clean and well-equipped, and my colleagues are friendly. Also, the salary and benefits are above average for the industry.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then briefly mention one disadvantage and one positive point using linking words like although and because. Avoid repeating the same point (clean) twice.

例: Yes, I like my workplace. Although it takes me about 30 minutes to commute, the office is comfortable and well-maintained, which makes my workday pleasant.

提案: Give a complete statement about your plan, explain one clear reason, and finish the reason fully. Use linking words (because/as) and a specific motivation or action you will take to reach the goal. Keep it concise and coherent.

例: In the future I hope to work as a software developer at a major tech company like Google or TikTok because they offer large-scale projects and strong learning opportunities. To prepare, I plan to improve my algorithms skills and contribute to open-source projects.

× I'm currently at work. I now work at a high tech hardware company in Shenzhen I focus on.

✓ I'm currently working at a high-tech hardware company in Shenzhen, where I focus on hardware development.

The original has sentence structure and punctuation errors: two clauses run together without proper connector or punctuation. 'I now work' is acceptable but 'I'm currently working' is more natural. 'High tech' should be hyphenated as 'high-tech' when used as a compound adjective. The fragment 'I focus on.' is incomplete; it needs an object or a relative clause. Suggested improvement: combine clauses with a relative clause and specify what you focus on (for example, 'hardware development' or 'photography devices').

× I currently work at high tech hardware company in Shenzhen. It focuses on photographer devices such as light and.

✓ I currently work at a high-tech hardware company in Shenzhen. It focuses on photographic devices such as lights and cameras.

Missing definite/indefinite article before 'high-tech hardware company' — use 'a high-tech hardware company.' 'Photographer devices' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'photographic.' 'Light and.' is incomplete; provide specific examples like 'lights and cameras.' Also hyphenate 'high-tech.' Ensure sentences are complete and nouns are countable/plural where needed ('lights').

× Yes, my company is over average, the environment is clean, my colleagues are friendly and the salary is good.

✓ Yes, my company is above average: the environment is clean, my colleagues are friendly, and the salary is good.

'Over average' is not idiomatic; use 'above average.' The original uses commas where a stronger connector or punctuation is needed; use a colon or split into two sentences. Also add the Oxford comma before 'and' for clarity. This improves readability and correctness.

× Yes, I love my office, although my company is a little bit far away from my home and I need to take about 30 minutes to get my office. My office is very clean.

✓ Yes, I love my office, although my company is a little bit far from my home and it takes me about 30 minutes to get to the office. The office is very clean.

Use 'far from' rather than 'far away from' for concision. 'I need to take about 30 minutes to get my office' is incorrect: use 'it takes me about 30 minutes to get to the office' or 'I need about 30 minutes to get to work.' Also avoid repeating 'my office' unnecessarily; 'the office' is more natural. Ensure correct verb structure with 'takes me' plus infinitive.

× In the future I will work as a software developer at a famous high tech company such as Google and TikTok. Because they will.

✓ In the future I would like to work as a software developer at a famous high-tech company such as Google or TikTok because they offer great opportunities.

The original has an incomplete sentence 'Because they will.' and is awkward with 'I will work' which sounds too definite; use 'I would like to work' to express future plans or intentions more naturally. Hyphenate 'high-tech.' Complete the reason clause ('because they offer great opportunities') to avoid a sentence fragment. Use 'or' rather than 'and' when giving examples.