Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (I work as a cashier at my college cafeteria), then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect phrases (e.g., 'college home').

例: I work as a cashier in my college cafeteria. I handle payments for items such as coffee, green tea and desserts, and I often help customers with their orders.

提案: Respond directly and accurately. Use correct vocabulary (cafeteria, frozen products, snacks) and coherent linking words. Keep sentences short and clear, and correct obvious mistakes (e.g., 'as a question' makes no sense).

例: I work in the college cafeteria, which mainly sells frozen snacks and drinks. For example, we serve samosas, frozen desserts and a variety of cold beverages.

提案: Give one clear reason as a topic sentence and then add a specific supporting detail with linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., 'I study at the same college', 'handle both things at the same time', 'save money for my expenses'). Avoid vague expressions like 'for the comments'.

例: Yes, it's a good place to work because it's convenient; I study and work at the same college. As a result, I can manage my classes and shifts more easily and save money for my personal expenses.

提案: Answer smoothly with a clear opinion, then add a specific benefit using correct verb forms and linking words. Replace awkwardphrases ('I have get knowledge') with 'I've learned' or 'I gained knowledge'. Mention a concrete example of what you learned.

例: Yes, I like it. Although it's sometimes busy, I've learned a lot about the products we sell. For example, I can now name different drinks and explain ingredients to customers.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence about your plan and then add specific, realistic steps or reasons. Use correct grammar (e.g., 'My future plan is to set up a restaurant business'). Explain how current experience will help and why you expect success with a concrete reason.

例: My future plan is to open a small restaurant. I hope to use the experience I gain at the cafeteria—such as customer service and menu knowledge—to run the business successfully, since there is consistent demand for drinks and snacks.

× I am working in a college home as a cashier.

✓ I work at a college as a cashier.

The original uses progressive 'am working' which implies temporary ongoing action; simple present 'work' is correct for regular employment. 'College home' is incorrect noun phrase; use 'at a college'. Use 'as a cashier' to show role.

× I collect the cash from the person who purchased the things for me.

✓ I collect cash from the people who buy items from the cafeteria.

'the cash' can be generalized to 'cash'. 'the person who purchased the things for me' is awkward and unclear; use plural 'people' and present simple 'buy' for habitual action. 'items from the cafeteria' is clearer than 'things'.

× For example, they purchased the coffee, green tea, desserts, and so on.

✓ For example, they buy coffee, green tea, desserts, and so on.

Use present simple 'buy' for habitual actions rather than past 'purchased'. Do not use definite article 'the' before general items like 'coffee' and 'green tea'.

× I work as a question in a college cafeteria in which only the on frozen products are available and drinks.

✓ I work as a cashier in a college cafeteria that mainly sells frozen products and drinks.

'work as a question' is incorrect; should be 'cashier'. 'in which only the on frozen products are available and drinks' is grammatically incorrect and wordy; use 'that mainly sells frozen products and drinks'.

× Drinks are also, for example samosas.

✓ They also sell snacks, for example samosas, and drinks.

Original word order is confusing. Clarify by stating the cafeteria sells snacks and drinks. Insert comma before example. Avoid starting sentence with 'Drinks are also' in this context.

× Yes, it is a good place to work because I go in the same college, I studied in the same college, I work at that place and it's easy for me to handle both the things at the time and save my money for the comments.

✓ Yes, it is a good place to work because I go to the same college, I studied at the same college, I work there, and it's easy for me to handle both responsibilities at the same time and save my money for my commute.

Use 'go to' and 'studied at' for correct prepositions. Replace 'work at that place' with 'work there'. Use 'both responsibilities' and 'at the same time' for clarity. 'save my money for the comments' is likely 'commute' — corrected to 'commute'. Also include commas and conjunction 'and' for proper sentence structure.

× Yes, I would like the place where I work.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work.

'Would like' implies desire; the student means they are pleased with the place now, so simple present 'like' is more appropriate for current preference.

× It is quite uh busy sometimes, but I have get knowledge regarding the frozen products and drinks.

✓ It is quite busy sometimes, but I have learned about the frozen products and drinks.

Use present perfect 'have learned' (past participle) to show experience gained. 'have get' is ungrammatical. Remove filler 'uh'.

× Before this I will not know the names of all drinks.

✓ Before this, I did not know the names of all the drinks.

Use past simple 'did not know' to refer to a past state. 'Will not know' is future and incorrect here. Add article 'the' before 'drinks' for specificity.

× My future work plans to set up a one restaurant business, industrial and business.

✓ My future plan is to set up a restaurant business.

Original is ungrammatical and repetitive. Use 'My future plan is to' followed by the infinitive. 'a one restaurant business' is incorrect; 'a restaurant business' or 'a restaurant' is sufficient. Remove 'industrial and business' which is unclear.

× I want to take some knowledge from the cafeteria and future that business is successful because everybody wants drinks.

✓ I want to learn from the cafeteria so that my future business will be successful, because everyone wants drinks.

Use 'learn from' instead of 'take some knowledge from'. Replace 'future that business is successful' with 'so that my future business will be successful'. Use 'everyone' instead of 'everybody' for style consistency and 'wants drinks' is fine. Use future 'will be' to express expectation.