Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence stating your status, then briefly explain what you study and why. Avoid filler words (uh, umm) and unclear phrases ("iced class", "giving my all, all techniques"). Use one or two linking words to connect ideas and keep the answer within 2–3 sentences.

例: I'm a student. I'm currently taking an intensive Korean language course to obtain a student visa, and I am focusing on improving my reading skills to prepare for exams.

提案: Answer the question directly and avoid repetition. If you do not work, say so clearly, then add a short explanation of your activities. Use correct vocabulary (e.g. "I don't work" not "I don't do a walk") and keep sentences simple and coherent.

例: I don't work at the moment; I'm a full-time student. I attend an arts class at a local consultancy in Virat Nagar to support my student visa application.

提案: Be specific about what makes the place good. State one or two clear reasons and give a brief example. Correct grammar ("people come", "cafe coffee") and avoid vague words like "unique" without explanation.

例: Yes, it's a pleasant place to work because it is quiet and relaxed. Many customers visit in the morning and evening to enjoy coffee, which creates a friendly, calm atmosphere.

提案: Give a direct opinion and one or two specific reasons. Use correct phrases ("teaches us how to make coffee", "peaceful"), avoid fillers, and keep within 2–3 sentences. Mention a concrete benefit you gained.

例: Yes, I like working there because it is calm and peaceful. I also learned basic barista skills, such as making espresso and steaming milk, which is useful for my career.

提案: State your future plan clearly with one supporting detail. Use correct tense and grammar ("I plan to continue working as a barista", "I have worked as a barista for two years"). Avoid pauses and repetition, and add a brief reason or goal to make it specific.

例: I plan to continue working as a barista. I have two years' experience and aim to become a head barista or open my own café in the future.

× Uh, basically I'm a student now, umm, I'm studying the iced class for my Korean student visa.

✓ I'm currently a student; I'm studying in an intensive class for my Korean student visa.

The original uses 'now' and awkward phrase 'iced class' which seems intended as 'intensive class'. This is a present continuous context, so use 'I'm currently' and 'studying in an intensive class' for natural present continuous expression and correct word choice.

× Uh, I'm giving my all, all techniques in reading now and.

✓ I'm putting all my effort into improving my reading skills now.

Original is ungrammatical and fragmented. Replace with a clear present continuous sentence: 'I'm putting all my effort into improving my reading skills now.' This corrects word choice ('giving my all' needs an object) and completes the sentence.

× As I said before I'm I don't do a walk usually.

✓ As I said before, I usually do not work.

The phrase 'I don't do a walk' is incorrect. Context implies 'work'. Use 'I usually do not work' (or 'I am not currently working') to express habitual present negative; include comma after introductory phrase for clarity.

× I'm a student.

✓ I am a student.

Contraction is acceptable in speech; corrected to full form for clarity. This is present simple describing current status.

× I'm doing my arts class in Virat Nagar shelter consultancy and I'm doing this for my Courier student to visa continuously.

✓ I am taking an arts class at Virat Nagar Shelter Consultancy, and I am doing this continuously for my student visa processing.

Use 'taking an arts class' instead of 'doing my arts class'. 'At' is correct preposition for locations; 'Courier student to visa' is unclear—interpreted as 'for my student visa processing'. Present continuous fits ongoing action.

× Yes, I would say the place I work is very unique and very calm and people, usually people comes there in morning, in evening to have a cafe coffee or caution.

✓ Yes, I would say the place where I work is very unique and calm, and usually people come there in the morning and evening to have coffee or snacks.

Fix subject-verb agreement: 'people come' not 'people comes'. Add articles 'the morning'/'the evening'. 'Cafe coffee or caution' is incorrect—interpreted as 'coffee or snacks'. Remove redundant words and improve word order.

× Yes, I would prefer this place because it's a calm and a pleasant place to work.

✓ Yes, I prefer this place because it's a calm and pleasant place to work.

Use 'prefer' rather than 'would prefer' to state a general preference. Remove extra article 'a' before 'pleasant' when preceded by 'a calm' would be awkward; 'a calm and pleasant place' or 'calm and pleasant place' both work—this version is concise.

× Or it also gives us knowledge and some knowledge to make coffees or baristas and it's very like, uh, peace place to work.

✓ It also teaches us how to make coffee and basic barista skills, and it's a peaceful place to work.

'Gives us knowledge' is awkward; use 'teaches us how to make coffee and basic barista skills'. 'Coffees or baristas' is incorrect. 'Peace place' should be 'peaceful place'. Use nouns and parallel structure correctly.

× So basically I would say uh, I would. I will always give my focus on barista.

✓ Basically, I would say I will always focus on being a barista.

Streamline repetition ('I would. I will') and use 'focus on being a barista' rather than 'give my focus on barista'. 'Will always focus' expresses future intent.

× I've been working barista for like 2 years and my focus career are also only there so I would basically work as a barista.

✓ I've been working as a barista for about two years, and my career focus is there, so I plan to continue working as a barista.

Add 'as' after 'working', use 'about' instead of 'like', 'two years' spelled out for clarity, fix subject-verb agreement 'career focus is', and use 'plan to continue' for clear future intention.