Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with grammar (articles, verb forms, plurals) and word order. Make your answer more concise and natural by using a clear topic sentence, one or two supporting details, and correct collocations (e.g., 'in the countryside', 'has all the basic facilities people need'). Avoid redundant phrases like 'not particularly busy' and 'overall' together.

例: My hometown is a small city in the countryside about an hour from the capital. It isn’t very busy, but it has all the basic facilities people need, such as markets and clinics, so it’s a comfortable and quiet place to live.

提案: Improve fluency and clarity by removing hesitations and correcting phrasing. Use linking words to connect ideas ('because', 'so', 'for example') and give a specific example of the friendly atmosphere. Avoid repeating phrases and fix word order ('a sense of community').

例: I like the friendly atmosphere most because people are welcoming and supportive. For example, neighbors often organize community gatherings and help each other during festivals, which creates a strong sense of community.

提案: Correct tense and avoid fillers. Use past or present perfect correctly ('I have lived... for about ten years'). Remove inappropriate or incorrect words (e.g., 'alcoholism' is wrong here) and be specific about occasions. Keep it concise and structured: state how long, then mention how often you return and why.

例: I have lived in the city for about ten years, but I return to my hometown several times a year. For example, my family and I go back for important festivals such as Hari Raya and other family celebrations.

提案: Fix grammar and word choice, and answer directly about young people. Use clearer reasons and specific examples (jobs, education, recreation). Avoid vague or incorrect collocations ('save people', 'balance between convenience and lifetime').

例: Yes, it can be a good place for young people, especially those who want a calm lifestyle. The cost of living is reasonable and basic services are nearby, but job opportunities and nightlife are limited compared with the capital, so it suits young people who prefer affordability and a relaxed environment.

× My hometown is a small city located in a countryside not too far from the capital.

✓ My hometown is a small city located in the countryside not too far from the capital.

Use of the article 'the' is required before 'countryside' when referring to a specific area in relation to the speaker; 'a countryside' is unidiomatic. Use 'the countryside' to mean rural area around the city.

× It's not particularly busy but is has all the basic facilities people needs.

✓ It's not particularly busy but it has all the basic facilities people need.

The original has extra 'is' and wrong verb forms. Remove the extra 'is' so the clause reads 'it has'. 'People' is plural so use base verb 'need' (not 'needs'). This fixes subject-verb agreement and removes the redundant verb.

× Overall is a fairly quiet place to live.

✓ Overall, it is a fairly quiet place to live.

The sentence is missing the subject 'it' and punctuation for natural flow. Add 'it' after 'Overall,' to make a complete sentence with subject and verb.

× People are very welcoming and it's easy to build a relationship with others.

✓ People are very welcoming and it's easy to build relationships with others.

Singular 'a relationship' is grammatical but plural 'relationships' is more natural in this context because the speaker refers generally to forming social ties with multiple people. Use plural to match general meaning.

× It is kind of a place when you are can feel, can really feel a scene of communities.

✓ It is the kind of place where you can really feel a sense of community.

Multiple structural problems: 'when you are can feel' is ungrammatical. Use 'where you can' for location contexts. 'Scene of communities' is incorrect; the idiomatic phrase is 'sense of community' (singular) to express communal feeling.

× I live in the city for about 10 years, umm, but I will return to my hometown several times a year.

✓ I have lived in the city for about 10 years, but I return to my hometown several times a year.

To express an action that began in the past and continues to the present, use present perfect 'have lived'. The second clause describes habitual action, so use simple present 'I return' (not future 'will return'). This keeps tense consistency.

× Uh, my family and I cook and I go back for important alcoholism and festival such as Hari Raya and other family celebration.

✓ My family and I cook and I go back for important occasions and festivals such as Hari Raya and other family celebrations.

Several word choices are wrong: 'alcoholism' is unrelated and likely a mis-selection for 'occasions'. Use plural 'occasions' and 'festivals'. 'Celebration' should be plural 'celebrations' to match 'other'. This corrects vocabulary and number agreement.

× I do see it is a great place to live, particularly for families.

✓ I do see that it is a great place to live, particularly for families.

Sentence needs the conjunction 'that' for clarity after 'I do see'. Adding 'that' makes the clause clear. This is primarily a sentence-linking issue; present participle tag is not required here.

× It save people and the cost of living is quite reasonable.

✓ It saves people money and the cost of living is quite reasonable.

Subject 'it' requires third person singular verb 'saves'. Also the phrase should be 'saves people money' to express reducing expenses. The original missing 'money' made the sentence unclear.

× So it's offer a quick balance between convenience and lifetime.

✓ So it offers a good balance between convenience and lifestyle.

Use third person singular 'offers' (subject-verb agreement). 'Quick balance' is odd; use 'good balance'. 'Lifetime' is incorrect here; intended word is 'lifestyle'. This fixes verb form and word choice.

× Because of that people can enjoy a good quality of life.

✓ Because of that, people can enjoy a good quality of life.

Sentence is correct grammatically except missing comma after introductory phrase 'Because of that'. Adding the comma improves readability. No change in tense or agreement needed.