Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence telling when you eat snacks, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect words (e.g. mean meals → main meals). Keep the answer within 3–4 sentences.

例: I usually eat snacks in the evening after dinner. Because I have a hectic schedule, I often prefer quick snacks to a proper meal. For example, if I finish work late, I might have a sandwich or some fruit instead of cooking.

提案: Answer directly: state your opinion briefly, then give clear reasons and one specific example. Reduce filler words and correct awkward phrases (e.g. 'juice them' unclear). Use linking words like 'because' and 'however'. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: No, I don't think snacking is healthy, because most of the snacks I eat are chocolate or chips. However, because of my busy schedule I sometimes rely on them when I don't have time to prepare meals. I try to choose healthier options like nuts when I can.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence about your childhood habit, then give a specific reason or brief example. Avoid tense errors and repetition. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because I preferred sweets to full meals. For example, I would skip lunch and eat biscuits or candy after school instead of a cooked meal.

提案: Answer directly with a topic sentence naming the snacks, then add one specific reason or detail. Correct pronunciation/word choice issues (snakes → snacks) and avoid fillers. Use a variety of vocabulary (sweets, cookies, chocolate) and keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I like to eat sweets, especially chocolate and cookies. I prefer them to salty snacks because I have a sweet tooth, and I usually buy small chocolate bars to enjoy after dinner.

× Oh, actually I always eat snacks after the evening or the dinner 'cause it's my favorite thing to eat 'cause it's currently stands.

✓ Actually, I usually eat snacks in the evening after dinner because it's my favorite thing to eat at the moment.

Errors: awkward adverb placement ('always' with 'actually'), incorrect preposition ('after the evening'), incorrect article use ('the dinner'), redundant and unclear phrase ('it's currently stands'). Suggestion: Use 'usually' for habitual action, 'in the evening' or 'after dinner' for correct time expression, and 'at the moment' to convey current preference. Keep word order natural: adverb before main verb and use concise expressions.

× I'm really living a hectic lifestyle.

✓ I lead a very hectic lifestyle.

Error: awkward progressive form 'am really living' with a stative verb and unnecessary adverb placement. Suggestion: Use simple present 'lead' to describe a habitual state and place adverbs (very) before the adjective.

× That's why I always try to eat snacks instead of mean meals.

✓ That's why I always eat snacks instead of proper meals.

Error: 'try to eat snacks' and 'mean meals' are incorrect collocations. Use 'eat snacks' for habitual choice and 'proper meals' or 'main meals' for complete meals. 'Try to' implies an attempt rather than habit.

× And I don't have enough time to eat well.

✓ I don't have enough time to eat properly.

Error: 'eat well' is understandable but less natural in this context. Use 'eat properly' to describe healthy or adequate eating. Keep simple present for habitual situation.

× That's why I always choose them to eat.

✓ That's why I always choose snacks to eat.

Error: unclear pronoun 'them' with wrong word order 'choose them to eat.' Suggestion: Replace 'them' with 'snacks' and use correct word order 'choose X to eat' or simply 'choose snacks.'

× Oh, generally speaking, I don't think so 'cause a snack, eating snacks is not healthy for my health cause the snacks are always gonna be chocolates or some chips.

✓ Generally speaking, I don't think so because snacks are not healthy for my health; they are usually chocolate or chips.

Errors: redundant phrases ('a snack, eating snacks'), informal contraction 'gonna,' and repetition ('not healthy for my health'). Suggestion: Use 'because' and concise phrasing 'snacks are usually chocolate or chips.' Replace informal spoken forms with standard English.

× That's why it's not healthy for my health. And but uh, as I said, I'm Li, uh, I have a uh, hectic schedule.

✓ That's why they are unhealthy. As I said, I have a hectic schedule.

Errors: redundant 'for my health' after 'not healthy,' conflicting conjunctions 'And but,' and filler words. Suggestion: Use concise sentence 'they are unhealthy' and avoid fillers; maintain consistent subject.

× That's why I don't have any time to eat healthy.

✓ That's why I don't have time to eat healthily.

Error: 'eat healthy' treats 'healthy' as an adjective modifying 'eat' incorrectly. Suggestion: Use the adverb 'healthily' or rephrase 'eat healthy food.'

× That's why I always juice them, but it's unhealthy.

✓ That's why I always choose them, but it's unhealthy.

Error: 'juice' is incorrect verb here (probably mispronunciation of 'choose'). Suggestion: Use 'choose' to express preference. Keep contrast 'but it's unhealthy.'

× Oh well, I'm gonna the days when I was a child or when I was too young and I always try to eat snacks because snacks are one of my favorite thing to eat.

✓ Oh well, I'm thinking about the days when I was a child; when I was young I always ate snacks because they were one of my favorite things to eat.

Errors: incorrect use of 'gonna' and present progressive 'I'm gonna the days' instead of 'I'm thinking about,' inconsistent tenses ('I always try to eat' with past context). Suggestion: Use past tense 'was' and 'ate' for childhood habits, and correct countable noun 'things.'

× Cause in my childhood or when I was young and I never liked to eat mean meals for dinner, lunch and it doesn't matter.

✓ In my childhood, when I was young, I never liked to eat proper meals for lunch or dinner; it didn't matter.

Errors: 'Cause' informal start, 'mean meals' wrong word, wrong word order for meals, and tense inconsistency 'never liked' with 'it doesn't matter.' Suggestion: Use past tense 'didn't matter' and 'proper meals' or 'main meals,' and list 'lunch or dinner.'

× That's why I have always chosen snacks, food.

✓ That's why I always chose snack food.

Errors: awkward word order and mixed tenses 'have always chosen' vs past narrative; redundancy 'snacks, food.' Suggestion: Use simple past 'always chose' for past habit and 'snack food' or just 'snacks.'

× OK, well when it comes to talk about the what kind of snakes that I like to eat, which are chocolates or some cookies that namely sweets,

✓ When it comes to the kinds of snacks I like to eat, they are chocolates and cookies, which are sweets,

Errors: 'to talk about the what kind of snakes' numerous word order and word choice mistakes ('snakes' instead of 'snacks'), and awkward clause 'that namely sweets.' Suggestion: Use 'kinds of snacks' and a clear list 'they are chocolates and cookies (sweets).'

× 'cause I always prefer to eat uh, sweets rather than umm, uh, rather than chips or the something like this, 'cause chocolates are one of my favorite thing and that's why I always try to eat.

✓ I prefer sweets to chips because chocolate is one of my favorite things, so I often eat it.

Errors: repetitive 'rather than', article and number agreement 'one of my favorite thing,' and awkward phrasing 'the something like this.' Suggestion: Use 'prefer X to Y,' match plural 'things,' and simplify: 'I prefer sweets to chips because chocolate is one of my favorite things.'