Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence about your memory ability, give one or two relevant supporting details, avoid filler words (uh) and unclear phrases ("very good advice"). Use linking words like "however" to contrast. Also correct grammar (e.g., "good at remembering").

例: I am reasonably good at remembering things, but it depends on how busy I am. For example, when I have many tasks, I sometimes forget minor items; however, when my schedule is light I remember things well. My manager often reminds me about small tasks, which shows this pattern.

提案: Provide a clearly organized short story: state the incident briefly, give specific details (what you forgot and consequence), and conclude with what you learned. Use linking words ("for example", "as a result"). Fix grammar and article use ("an agenda", "to-do list").

例: Yes. For example, recently my manager asked me to prepare an agenda for a stakeholders' meeting, but I forgot to add it to my to-do list. As a result, I wasn't notified and almost missed the meeting notes, so I had to redo them on the day. Since then, I always check my list the night before.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence about what you need to remember, then give specific reasons and one concrete method you use. Remove fillers and repetitive phrases. Use linking words like "because" and "therefore" to explain cause and effect.

例: I need to remember to stay positive and confident in my daily life because I often feel insecure in unfamiliar situations. For this reason, a colleague suggested practicing confidence, so I rehearse short speeches in front of a mirror every day to build this habit.

提案: Give a clearer, more natural explanation: start with the method (e.g., telling someone, writing lists, using reminders), explain why it helps, and avoid irrelevant emotional comments. Mention alternatives (phone alarms, notes) to show range. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I usually tell my mother about important tasks because she reminds me repeatedly, which helps me remember. However, if that feels awkward, I also use my phone's reminders and write brief to-do notes, which together ensure I don't forget important items.

× Depends on my mood, uh, when I am occupied with many things, I often forget, uh, things.

✓ It depends on my mood; when I am occupied with many things, I often forget things.

The original sentence lacks a clear subject at the start ('Depends' should be 'It depends'), creating a sentence structure error. Add the subject 'It' and use proper punctuation to connect clauses. This fixes the incomplete sentence and clarifies meaning.

× But if I don't have that much work, then I'm very good advice, good at my memory even My manager used to scold me if uh, I forgot some minor things to do at my workplace.

✓ But if I don't have that much work, then I have a very good memory. My manager used to scold me if I forgot some minor tasks at my workplace.

Multiple errors: 'good advice' is incorrect word choice and 'good at my memory' should be 'have a very good memory' (article and noun choice). 'Some minor things to do' is better as 'some minor tasks' (word choice and plurality). Correcting these addresses article and sentence structure issues and improves clarity.

× Yes, I have forgotten many things.

✓ Yes, I have forgotten many things.

This sentence is grammatically correct for present perfect to indicate past experiences with present relevance. No change is needed; included here only for completeness and to show it matches the tense context.

× Recently my manager told me to prepare a agenda for the meeting with stakeholders and I forgot to add it in A to do list and I didn't get notified.

✓ Recently my manager told me to prepare an agenda for the meeting with stakeholders, and I forgot to add it to a to-do list, so I didn't get notified.

Use 'an' before 'agenda' because 'agenda' begins with a vowel sound. Use 'to a to-do list' instead of 'in A to do list' (article capitalization and preposition). Combine clauses to improve sentence flow and reflect cause and effect.

× And later in the meeting day I noticed that I have a meeting today and I almost forgot all the notes so I had to do it again.

✓ Later on the day of the meeting, I realized that I had a meeting that day and I had almost forgotten all my notes, so I had to redo them.

Tense consistency is needed: events that occurred in the past should use past simple or past perfect ('realized', 'had a meeting', 'had almost forgotten'). 'Do it again' is better as 'redo them' referring to notes. This fixes present/past tense mismatch and clarifies the sequence.

× I always wanted to remember to be positive and confident because that's the thing which I often lack.

✓ I always want to remember to be positive and confident because those are things I often lack.

Tense: 'wanted' should be 'want' to match general habit (present). 'That's the thing which' is awkward; use 'those are things' for plural qualities. This corrects tense, pronoun reference and article/number agreement.

× Even my uh colleague used to recommend it because when I'm with the when I'm not in the familiar environment, I often lack such skills and I'm trying to improve it by practicing in the mirror every day.

✓ Even my colleague used to recommend this because when I'm not in a familiar environment, I often lack such skills, and I'm trying to improve them by practicing in front of a mirror every day.

Pronoun reference errors: 'it' should be 'this' (or 'that'), and 'improve it' should be 'improve them' to refer to 'skills.' Remove repeated phrase 'when I'm with the when.' Use 'in front of a mirror' rather than 'in the mirror' for natural phrasing.

× I often tell it to my mom, and my mom used to say it repeatedly and it makes me sad at one point.

✓ I often tell my mom, and she used to repeat it to me, which made me sad at one point.

'Tell it to my mom' is awkward; 'tell my mom' is natural. 'My mom used to say it repeatedly' is better as 'she used to repeat it to me.' 'It makes me sad' should be past 'made me sad' to match 'used to.' This fixes verb forms and tense consistency.

× And even that would be a point where I would say, like, mom, I have finished this.

✓ At that point I would say, 'Mom, I have finished this.'

Original has redundant phrasing 'that would be a point where' and informal filler 'like.' Simplify to 'At that point' and place the reported utterance clearly. This resolves sentence structure and clarity issues.

× So yeah, it's easy to remember if I say to my mom instead of writing notes.

✓ So yeah, it's easier to remember if I tell my mom instead of writing notes.

Use comparative 'easier' to compare two methods. 'Say to my mom' is awkward; 'tell my mom' is correct verb-object usage. This corrects sentence structure and word choice.