Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific reasons or examples, and avoid hesitations and irrelevant requests (e.g. asking for omega-3). Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I'm not very good at memorising things at the moment. Since finishing my senior year I've noticed I'm more forgetful, probably because I'm under more stress. For example, I often forget small tasks unless I write them down, so I now use reminders on my phone to help me remember.

提案: Provide a clear, concise story with correct tense and a logical sequence using linking words (first, then, fortunately). Avoid repeating phrases.

例: Yes, I once forgot my passport at an airport. When I realised it, I went back to the gate and, fortunately, it was still where I had left it. Because I acted quickly, I didn't miss my flight.

提案: Organise the answer: start with a topic sentence, then give specific examples and use linking words. Avoid repetition and small disfluencies.

例: I need to remember daily responsibilities and appointments. For instance, I keep track of bills that are due and people I must call for urgent matters. To avoid problems, I write a to-do list each morning and set reminders on my phone.

提案: Be more coherent: state the main method first, then explain and give a brief example. Reduce contradictions and improve grammar (e.g. 'I ask others to remind me, but since that doesn't always work, I use...').

例: I mainly use a to-do list and phone reminders to remember important tasks. I sometimes ask others to remind me, but because that can fail, I rely on written lists and calendar alerts to keep organised.

× Uh, currently I'm not very good at memorizing things.

✓ Uh, currently I'm not very good at memorizing things.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses present continuous and simple adjective phrase to describe current ability.

× Umm, after my senior year, I have been forgetting a lot, been forgetful.

✓ Umm, since my senior year, I have been forgetting a lot and have become more forgetful.

The phrase 'after my senior year' should be 'since my senior year' to indicate a period from that time until now; use present perfect continuous 'have been forgetting' is appropriate but needs a clear subject and parallel structure. Add 'have become' to complete the adjective phrase.

× So I think that I need to get some omega-3 so that I can improve my memory and be more memorizing please.

✓ So I think that I need to take some omega-3 so that I can improve my memory and remember things better.

'Get' is less precise than 'take' for supplements. 'Be more memorizing' is ungrammatical: 'memorizing' is a verb form and cannot describe the subject here. Use 'remember things better' to express improved memory. Remove 'please' which is unnatural in this context.

× Yes I have. Once I have forgot my passport in the airport and when I realized that I have forgot my passport in the airport, I have gone back before I went to the plane and thankfully it was still in the same exact place that I left it on, so it was not a big deal.

✓ Yes, I have. Once I forgot my passport at the airport, and when I realized it, I went back before boarding the plane and thankfully it was still in the exact place I had left it, so it was not a big deal.

Use simple past 'forgot' for a specific past event. Replace awkward repeated phrasing. Use 'at the airport' instead of 'in the airport'. Use past perfect 'had left' to show the earlier action of leaving the passport. 'Boarding the plane' is more natural than 'went to the plane.' Remove unnecessary words and correct preposition.

× I need to remember my responsibilities, my To Do List the things that I need to do throughout the day and if there's a a bill that I need to pay or a person that I need to speak to for an urgent case.

✓ I need to remember my responsibilities and my to-do list: the things I need to do throughout the day, whether there is a bill I need to pay or a person I need to speak to about an urgent matter.

Add punctuation and conjunctions for clarity. Use 'to-do list' lowercase and hyphenated. Replace 'if there's a bill' with 'whether there is a bill' for clearer alternatives. Use 'about an urgent matter' instead of 'for an urgent case' which is unnatural.

× I think it's really important to memorize these things and forgetting them would be a big problem.

✓ I think it's really important to remember these things, and forgetting them would be a big problem.

Use 'remember' rather than 'memorize' for routine daily items; both are grammatical but 'remember' is more natural. Sentence is otherwise fine; add comma before conjunction for readability.

× I usually remember important things by telling other people to remind me of it, but unfortunately they don't remember.

✓ I usually remember important things by asking other people to remind me, but unfortunately they don't remember.

'Telling other people to remind me of it' is awkward; 'asking other people to remind me' is correct. Avoid 'it' which ambiguously refers to plural 'things'; remove for clarity.

× I do remember instead and I keep myself organized by doing A to do list that helps me remember what I have to do throughout the day.

✓ Instead, I try to remember myself and keep organized by making a to-do list that helps me remember what I have to do throughout the day.

'I do remember instead' is awkward; use 'Instead, I try to remember myself' or 'I rely on myself instead.' 'Doing a to-do list' is incorrect; use 'making a to-do list.' Capitalization corrected and article 'a' added. Reorder words for natural flow.