Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid long, unstructured sentences and irrelevant phrases. Also correct grammar and word choice (e.g., "tertiary school" → "university"; "different mathematical" → "mathematics").

例: Not really. However, when I studied nursing at university I practiced memorization a lot because we had to learn medical terms and medication calculations. For example, I used flashcards and weekly quizzes to remember drug names and dosages, which helped me perform better in clinical practice.

提案: Start with a direct answer (Yes/No) and give one clear example with a linking word. Avoid repeating phrases like "most important" and improve sentence structure and grammar. Be specific about what you use to remember important dates.

例: No, I rarely forget important things. For instance, I always record my parents' birthdays in my phone calendar and set a reminder a week before, so I can buy a gift and make plans in time.

提案: Give a concise topic sentence and one specific example with clear linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "incoming" → "upcoming"; "important thing" → "important things"). Mention a clear method you use to remember tasks.

例: I need to remember daily tasks and any upcoming appointments. For example, I record car maintenance appointments in my phone calendar and set an alert the day before so I don't miss them.

提案: Answer directly and avoid filler words like "uh". Use one or two methods with specific details and linking words. Improve tense consistency and grammar (e.g., "I had" → "I have"; "I can able to write" → "I can write").

例: I use my phone and a small notebook to remember important things. Specifically, I set weekly reminders on my phone and write appointments in my notebook, which I check every morning so I don't forget them.

× I'm not really good at memorizing things, but when I took my professional career as a nurse way back in my tertiary school in the Philippines, I learned to keep practicing about memorization because there's a lot to learn, most importantly in the nursing school that we need to learn it from book as well as a different mathematical that suggests that we need to calculate.

✓ I'm not really good at memorizing things, but when I began my nursing studies at tertiary school in the Philippines, I learned to practise memorization because there was a lot to learn, especially in nursing school where we had to learn from books as well as perform various calculations.

The original sentence is long and confusing with incorrect phrases like 'took my professional career' and 'keep practicing about memorization.' This is a sentence structure error (26). Break into clearer clauses and use appropriate verbs: 'began my nursing studies' instead of 'took my professional career,' 'practise memorization' instead of 'keep practicing about memorization,' 'books' (plural) and 'perform various calculations' for clarity. Use past tense 'began' and 'learned' to match the time reference.

× I don't normally forget something very important, most important, special occasion of my parents birthday because that is the big day for them.

✓ I don't normally forget very important things, especially my parents' birthdays, because those are big days for them.

The original sentence misuses adjectives and word order ('most important, special occasion of my parents birthday') and has possessive punctuation missing. This is an adjective/adverb and sentence structure issue (13, 26). Use 'very important things' and 'especially my parents' birthdays' and plural 'those are' to agree with plural 'birthdays.' Add the possessive apostrophe in parents'.

× Most importantly, I generally love and care my parents so I don't normally forget anything or special important, especially their birthdays.

✓ Most importantly, I generally love and care for my parents, so I don't normally forget anything important, especially their birthdays.

The sentence omits the correct preposition after 'care' and has awkward phrase 'special important.' This is incorrect verb/preposition use and sentence structure (11, 26). Use 'care for' and place 'important' after 'anything.' Add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'so.'

× What I need to remember in my daily routine is the specific task or a special event that incoming.

✓ What I need to remember in my daily routine are specific tasks or special events that are coming up.

The original sentence has subject-verb agreement and phrasing issues ('that incoming' is incorrect). This is sentence structure and subject-verb agreement (26, 1, 27). Use plural 'tasks or events' with plural verb 'are' and the common phrase 'coming up.'

× For example have a special appointment for my car garage to fix my car and that is one of the important thing that I need to remember.

✓ For example, I have a special appointment at the garage to have my car fixed, and that is one of the important things I need to remember.

Errors include missing subject 'I,' wrong preposition 'for my car garage,' passive phrasing needed ('have my car fixed'), and singular/plural mismatch 'one of the important thing.' These are article/preposition and singular/plural issues (11, 22, 1). Add 'I,' use 'at the garage,' change to 'have my car fixed,' and use plural 'things.'

× So I have it in my phone or a note so I don't need to.

✓ So I put it in my phone or in a notebook so I don't forget.

The sentence is incomplete and awkward ('so I don't need to' lacks object). This is a sentence structure error (26). Use clear verbs 'put' and 'forget' and correct noun 'notebook.'

× I normally remember the very important things, uh, through having a weekly reminder, most importantly in my phone or even I had a small notebook that I can able to write down a note for the important events or upcoming appointments that I need to, to go to, And that's why I remembered.

✓ I normally remember very important things by setting a weekly reminder on my phone, and I also have a small notebook where I can write down important events or upcoming appointments I need to attend, which is why I remember them.

Multiple errors: awkward phrase 'through having,' incorrect tense 'I had,' wrong 'can able,' redundant commas, and incorrect past tense 'remembered.' This combines verb form, article, and sentence structure errors (8, 9, 22, 26). Use 'by setting a weekly reminder,' present tense 'have,' 'can' (not 'can able'), 'attend' instead of 'go to,' and 'remember them' to refer to plural events. The revision clarifies and corrects verb forms and tense consistency.