Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "I'm very fond of..." not "as a very fond"). Avoid repetition ("according to" twice).

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I'm very fond of matching shoes with different outfits, so I buy new pairs fairly often for different occasions and needs.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and one specific reason with linking words; fix repetitions and grammar. Use precise phrasing about fit and sizing issues and optionally mention a possible exception.

例: No, I haven't bought shoes online because a good pair really depends on the fit, and sizes vary between brands. For that reason, I prefer to try shoes on in a store, although I might order online if there are clear size guides and free returns.

提案: Start with a direct answer about typical spend, then explain with clear reasons and linking words. Remove fragmented sentences and be specific about price ranges or frequency to show concreteness.

例: It varies, but I usually spend a moderate amount on shoes. If I need comfortable, durable shoes I might spend more (for example $70–$100), but for trendy styles I choose cheaper options so I can replace them frequently.

提案: Answer directly then provide contrast with linking words (e.g., "for everyday... but for social occasions..."). Avoid filler words and unclear phrases ("match well with my tyres" seems incorrect — use "outfits"). Give one specific example of an occasion for fashionable shoes.

例: It depends on the occasion. For everyday wear I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot, but for parties or weddings I choose fashionable shoes that complement my outfit.

× I love to buy shoes as a very fond of wearing them different with different outfits.

✓ I love to buy shoes because I am very fond of wearing different ones with different outfits.

The sentence uses incorrect adjective/adverb forms and a wrong connector 'as'. Use 'because' to show reason and 'I am' for the adjective 'very fond'. Also 'different with different outfits' is unidiomatic; use 'different ones' to refer to shoes and 'with different outfits' to show pairing. Replace 'as a very fond of' with 'because I am very fond of' for grammaticality and clarity.

× So I buy my shoes very often according to the occasion and according to my need.

✓ So I buy shoes very often according to the occasion and my needs.

Reduce repetition and use plural 'needs' for general situations. The present simple 'buy' is correct for habitual action; only wording and number needed adjustment for natural English.

× No, I've never tried to buy buy my shoes online because I feel shoes really good shoes depends on a good fit and every company has a different size.

✓ No, I've never tried buying my shoes online because I feel shoes really depend on a good fit and every company has different sizing.

Use 'tried buying' (verb + -ing) instead of 'tried to buy buy' (duplicate 'buy' and wrong form). The clause 'shoes really depend' requires plural verb 'depend' agreeing with plural 'shoes'. 'Different size' should be 'different sizing' or 'different sizes'. Also remove duplication and correct word order for clarity.

× So I'm very sure that I don't want to buy online shoes and regret that later.

✓ So I'm very sure that I don't want to buy shoes online and regret it later.

Word order: 'buy shoes online' is the correct sequence. Use 'regret it later' rather than 'regret that later'. The modal/auxiliary structure 'don't want to' is fine; just adjust object placement and pronoun.

× I don't. I'm not very fond of buying very big brands or very costly brands.

✓ I don't. I'm not very fond of buying big or very expensive brands.

Reduce redundancy: 'big brands' is informal; 'big or very expensive brands' is clearer. The original sentence's 'very big brands or very costly brands' is repetitive. Keep parallel structure and choose appropriate adjective ('expensive').

× I depend.

✓ It depends.

The phrase 'I depend' is incomplete and incorrect here. The intended impersonal expression is 'It depends' when qualifying how much is spent based on purpose.

× It depends on what the purpose behind buying my shoes.

✓ It depends on the purpose behind buying the shoes.

Use 'it depends on the purpose' and remove unnecessary 'my' in this context; 'buying the shoes' is more natural. Present simple 'depends' is correct for general statements.

× If it is comfort, I don't compromise my comfort, I can spend more.

✓ If it is for comfort, I won't compromise, and I can spend more.

Use 'for comfort' to express purpose. Avoid repeating 'comfort'; use 'I won't compromise' for natural phrasing. Use comma and conjunction to join clauses properly; future modal 'will' or present 'can' for ability/intent is appropriate.

× But if it is just for the styling, I would rather like to spend very minimum amount so that I can change my shoes very often.

✓ But if it is just for styling, I would rather spend a minimal amount so that I can change my shoes very often.

Use 'for styling' (no 'the'), 'I would rather spend' (not 'would rather like to'), and 'a minimal amount' or 'the minimum amount' for correct article usage. 'Very minimum' is incorrect; use 'minimal' or 'the minimum'.

× It depends on the occasion for which I have to buy the shoes.

✓ It depends on the occasion for which I have to buy the shoes.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; present simple 'depends' correctly expresses a general truth. No correction needed other than confirming correctness.

× As far as my everyday shoes are concerned, they have to be comfortable.

✓ As far as my everyday shoes are concerned, they have to be comfortable.

Sentence is correct: plural 'shoes' with plural verb 'have' is proper. No change required.

× I'm very sure about it.

✓ I'm very sure of that.

'Sure of that' is more natural than 'sure about it' in this context, though both are acceptable. This provides a clearer idiomatic phrasing.

× Uh, but when it comes to style or for some social occasions, I prefer fashionable shoes because they are more trendy and they uh, match well with my tyres.

✓ But when it comes to style or social occasions, I prefer fashionable shoes because they are trendier and they match well with my outfits.

Replace informal filler 'uh'. Use 'trendier' (comparative adjective) instead of 'more trendy'. 'Tyres' is incorrect contextually; likely intended 'attire' or 'outfits'. 'Match well with my outfits' is idiomatic. Maintain parallel structure and avoid unnecessary fillers.