Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更简洁自然，避免重复和口语填充词（例如“uh”，“umm”）。开头直接给出主题句，然后用一到两句具体细节支持，例如说明频率或原因。使用恰当的词汇（a large number -> a lot of / several）并注意句子结构和时态一致。

例: I have several hobbies, including singing, exercising and playing video games. I usually sing once a week after my classes because it helps me relax and improves my vocal skills.

提案: 回答结构还可以，但需减少语气词并修正小语法错误（e.g. 'at every Friday' -> 'every Friday'）。给出更具体的细节如活动时长或你在活动中的角色，可以用连接词加强连贯性。

例: Yes, I used to enjoy playing basketball with my best friends. We played every Friday after school for about two hours, and it helped us relax and stay fit.

提案: 回答要更连贯，避免片段化和重复。先给出明确的主题句，然后用一到两句说明原因和具体例子。删除不相关或不完整的信息（最后一句“take some clothes”不明确，应改为相关的具体行动，如 'I take singing lessons'）。

例: Yes, I have been singing since I was a child because it helps me relieve stress and express my emotions. I also take singing lessons regularly to improve my technique.

提案: 句子语法需修正（e.g. 'my mom and I both enjoy singing'），去掉语气词并用更自然的表达。可以补充具体例子或频率，例如多久一起去KTV，以及描述具体感受以丰富内容。

例: Yes, my mother and I both enjoy singing and we both like the singer A-Mei. We often go to KTV together on weekends, which is always a fun and relaxing time for us.

× Yes, I have large number of hobbies such as singing songs on, do some extra exercise and uh, play video games.

✓ Yes, I have a large number of hobbies such as singing songs, doing some extra exercise, and playing video games.

原句中有名词短语缺不定冠词（a large number）和并列动词形式不一致问题。并列的活动应该都用相同形式：singing、doing、playing。建议在“large number”前加不定冠词“a”，并把并列的动词改为动名词（-ing）形式以保持平行结构。

× Umm, well, uh, for example, I love singing every week after, uh, having the classes.

✓ For example, I love singing every week after having classes.

原句中'after, uh, having the classes' 多余逗号且冠词使用不自然。应使用现在分词短语 'after having classes'，去掉多余的定冠词和停顿词，使语句流畅。

× We usually played basketball after, umm, after the class at every Friday, which made us feel more relaxed from our lessons.

✓ We usually played basketball after class every Friday, which made us feel more relaxed from our lessons.

原句中 'the class' 和 'at every Friday' 用法不当。英语中习惯说 'after class'（上完课后）而不是 'after the class'，并且表示频率用 'every Friday'，不用 'at every Friday'。建议删除多余定冠词并调整词序。

× Yes, I have been enjoying singing for several years, since when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I have enjoyed singing for several years, since I was a child.

表示从过去持续到现在的动作，常用现在完成时（have enjoyed）而不是进行时 'have been enjoying'（除非强调持续的进行状态）。此外，'since when I was a child' 表达不自然，应简化为 'since I was a child'。建议用现在完成时并改为常用句式。

× Umm, because I think it's a good way for me to relieve my stress and to express my emotions. So I, I even, uh, take some clothes.

✓ Because I think it's a good way for me to relieve stress and express my emotions. So I even bring some clothes.

原句是片段句开头用 'Because' 之后未与主句完整连接；此外 'relieve my stress' 在英语中更常说 'relieve stress'；'take some clothes' 在语境中不明确，若是指带换洗衣服或准备换装，应使用 'bring some clothes'。建议把从句并入完整句子并使用更自然的动词搭配。

× Oh yes uh my mom and I are both enjoy singing and we also have the same favorite singers called the Zhang Hui Mei.

✓ Oh yes, my mom and I both enjoy singing, and we also have the same favorite singer, Zhang Hui Mei.

原句中 'are both enjoy' 主谓结构错误，应为 'both enjoy'；'the same favorite singers called the Zhang Hui Mei' 中'singers'与后面的单一人名不匹配，应为单数 'singer'，且人名前不用 'the'。建议改为 'both enjoy' 并把'singers'改为'singer'，去掉冠词。

× So we often go to the KTV for singing the songs together which are really a happy time with.

✓ So we often go to the KTV to sing songs together, which is really a happy time.

原句中 'for singing the songs' 用法僵硬，常用不定式 'to sing' 表目的；'which are really a happy time with' 结构混乱，应该是 'which is really a happy time'（指代整个活动）。建议使用 'to sing songs together, which is really a happy time.'