Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 단어 선택과 문법 오류가 많습니다. 우선 질문에 직접 답하는 주제문(예: "Yes, I enjoy..." )으로 시작하고, 구체적인 활동(예: walking, stair climbing, yoga)과 이유를 간결하게 연결사로 설명하세요. 문장 수는 3~4문장으로 유지하고, 잘못된 표현(‘depression for’, ‘off my fittest level’)을 교정하세요. 또한 어휘는 상황에 맞는 단어(“stamina”, “relieve stress”, “exercise”)로 바꾸어 명확하게 말하세요.

例: Yes, I enjoy physical activities as my main hobby. I often do stair climbing and yoga to build my stamina, and I go for brisk walks when I can. These exercises help me relieve stress after a busy day, so I try to practice them several times a week.

提案: 시제와 주어·동사의 일치를 고치고 표현을 더 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 주제문으로 시작한 뒤 과거 시제로 구체적 경험과 이유를 간단히 덧붙이세요. 연결사를 사용해 문장 흐름을 매끄럽게 하고 불필요한 단어는 줄이세요.

例: When I was a child, I enjoyed creative activities such as painting and coloring. Completing a picture always made me feel relaxed and satisfied, and it gave me a strong sense of achievement.

提案: 답변이 반복적이고 마무리가 되지 않았습니다. 질문에 직접적으로 ‘Yes or No’로 시작한 뒤, 유지된 취미가 있는지 여부를 분명히 말하세요. 과거와 현재를 비교할 때는 연결어(‘although’, ‘but’, ‘still’)를 사용하고 문장을 완성하세요.

例: Yes, I have kept some creative hobbies since childhood. Although I no longer paint as often, I still enjoy coloring and other indoor crafts because they help me relax and focus.

提案: 문법(단수·복수 일치)과 중복 표현을 고치고 문장을 더 간결하게 만드세요. 직접 질문에 답한 뒤 가족과의 차이점을 구체적인 이유로 설명하세요. 불필요한 반복(‘hobby’)을 피하고 원인(major 관련성)을 명확히 하세요.

例: Not really. My older sister prefers reading fashion magazines because she studies fashion marketing at university, so her hobby is closely related to her major.

× Marking out is my favorite pastime.

✓ Marking out is my favorite pastime.

No article error detected; sentence is acceptable. No change needed.

× I have a depression for stair steps or yoga.

✓ I have a passion for stair stepping and yoga.

'A depression' is the wrong noun; 'depression' means a mental health condition. The student likely meant 'a passion' or 'an interest'. Also 'stair steps' is awkward; 'stair stepping' or 'using the stairs' is clearer. Use 'and' to list two hobbies. Suggestion: replace incorrect noun and use consistent noun forms.

× Actually I like off my fittest level so I'm trying to improve my stamina these days.

✓ Actually I want to be at my fittest level, so I'm trying to improve my stamina these days.

The phrase 'like off my fittest level' is ungrammatical and unclear. Likely intended meaning is desire to reach peak fitness: use 'want to be at my fittest level'. Add a comma before the conjunction 'so' linking two clauses. 'Improve my stamina' is correct.

× I think my hobby is a great way to relieve my daily stress.

✓ I think my hobby is a great way to relieve my daily stress.

Sentence is grammatically correct in present tense and fits the context. No change needed.

× When I was young, I like to engage in creative activities like painting and coloring.

✓ When I was young, I liked to engage in creative activities like painting and coloring.

Mixing past time marker 'When I was young' with present tense 'like' is inconsistent. Use past tense 'liked' to match the time frame.

× After finishing that, I it makes me feel relaxed and satisfied.

✓ After finishing them, it made me feel relaxed and satisfied.

Pronoun and tense errors: 'that' is vague for plural activities; use 'them'. 'I it makes me' is ungrammatical—choose either 'it made me feel' or 'they made me feel' in past tense to match 'When I was young'. Here 'it made me feel' or 'they made me feel' is correct. Use consistent past tense.

× Also, it gave me a sense of achievement.

✓ Also, it gave me a sense of achievement.

Sentence correctly uses past tense to describe childhood experience. No change needed.

× When I was young, I liked coloring and painting because I was fond of some creative activities.

✓ When I was young, I liked coloring and painting because I was fond of creative activities.

'Some' is unnecessary and slightly awkward here; removing it makes the sentence more natural. Tense is consistent (past).

× They're they're not exactly the same now, but both are indoor activities.

✓ They're not exactly the same now, but both are indoor activities.

Duplicate 'they're' is an obvious repetition error. Remove the extra word to correct sentence structure.

× Nowadays I like.

✓ Nowadays I like them too.

The sentence 'Nowadays I like.' is incomplete and lacks an object. Add an object like 'them' or specify the activities: 'Nowadays I like coloring and painting too.' Ensure the verb has a clear object.

× Not really, my older sister prefer reading fashion magazines because she is very interested in fashion and she's studying fashion marketing at university so her hobby is closely related to her hobby, her major.

✓ Not really. My older sister prefers reading fashion magazines because she is very interested in fashion, and she's studying fashion marketing at university, so her hobby is closely related to her major.

Subject-verb agreement: 'my older sister' is singular, so use 'prefers' not 'prefer'. The original sentence is also run-on and repetitive ('hobby, her major'); split into shorter clauses and remove redundancy. Add commas for clarity and connectives for flow.