Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Говорите более связно и структурировано: начните с чёткого топик‑предложения, затем кратко добавьте 1–2 конкретных детали. Уберите повторения и исправьте грамматику (например, употребление артиклей и форм глаголов). Также используйте связки (for example, in addition, and) чтобы улучшить плавность.

例: I enjoy playing sports, especially volleyball. I play volleyball at school and sometimes compete against other schools. I also practise grappling with friends to improve my fitness and reflexes.

提案: Ставьте главное предложение в начале и давайте конкретные детали. Избегайте ненужных фраз («you know», «it's everything I think») и уточняйте, что вы имеете в виду (например, «playing Minecraft on phones with friends»). Применяйте связки (also, sometimes) для логики ответа.

例: As a child, I often played football with friends at the local playground. I also played Minecraft on my phone with friends and we explored different locations in the game. Sometimes we walked to the nearby park together.

提案: Дайте прямой ответ и затем поясните одним‑двумя предложениями с конкретикой. Избегайте грамматических ошибок (present perfect для действий, продолжающихся до настоящего) и повтора слов. Используйте связки (since, still, and) для связности.

例: Yes, I have kept some hobbies since childhood, especially playing sports and walking with friends. I still exercise regularly and sometimes play computer games like Minecraft with my friends.

提案: Отвечайте прямо и ясно: скажите, совпадают ли ваши хобби с хобби семьи, затем приведите конкретный пример. Уберите слова‑паразиты («umm») и исправьте согласование (subject‑verb agreement). Добавьте связку (but, however) для контраста.

例: Not really — my family aren't very active, so my hobbies are different from theirs. I am the only one who regularly plays sports and exercises; sometimes my dad goes to the gym with me.

× Yes I have hobby, I usually do a sport playing volleyball or have a sparring with friends rules of grappling and play volleyball in school with friends and compete with other schools in volleyball.

✓ Yes, I have a hobby: I usually play sports, such as volleyball, and I spar with friends to practice grappling. I also play volleyball at school with friends and compete against other schools.

The original sentence contains singular/plural mismatches and incorrect noun forms (e.g. 'have hobby' → 'have a hobby', 'do a sport' → 'play sports', 'have a sparring' → 'spar'). Use 'a' with singular countable nouns, use plural 'sports' for general activities, and use the correct verb collocations: 'play volleyball', 'spar with friends'. Combine and punctuate clauses clearly to improve readability.

× In my childhood I played football with my friends in the playing ground and when we played the phone play the Minecraft with location and it's everything I think and walked, you know, park.

✓ In my childhood I played football with my friends on the playground. We also played Minecraft on our phones and walked in the park.

The sentence has mixed and confused tense and phrasing. Use simple past 'played' to describe childhood activities. Use correct nouns and prepositions: 'on the playground', 'played Minecraft on our phones', 'walked in the park'. Remove unclear phrases like 'with location and it's everything I think' or rephrase them clearly.

× Obvious I had since my childhood. So do exercises, used to do a sport, walked on the street with friends and play games on computer games or Minecraft with location with friends and it's everything.

✓ Obviously I have had this hobby since my childhood. I exercised, played sports, walked in the street with friends, and played computer games like Minecraft with them.

The student mixes present and past incorrectly. Use present perfect 'have had' to indicate a hobby continuing from childhood to now. Maintain consistent tense when listing past habitual actions: use simple past 'exercised', 'played', 'walked'. Correct noun phrases: 'computer games' and remove unclear 'with location'.

× I haven't told this like my family members because my family members is umm don't active and I only person in family who do a sport or do exercise my dad with me and goes to a gym.

✓ I haven't told this to my family members because they are not very active. I am the only person in the family who plays sports or exercises. My dad sometimes goes to the gym with me.

Pronoun and agreement errors: use 'told this to my family members', and refer to family members with 'they' and plural verb 'are'. 'I only person' should be 'I am the only person'. Maintain subject-verb agreement: 'they are not active', 'my dad goes'. Clarify meaning with proper connecting words and punctuation.