Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, use correct grammar (articles, verb forms, and pronouns), and add one specific supporting detail about frequency or recent activity. Use a linking phrase if adding a reason or goal.

例: I enjoy playing volleyball, which is my favourite sport. I play three times a week to stay fit and improve my skills, and I am training to try out for the district team next year.

提案: Answer directly in past tense and avoid repeating the same idea. Give one reason and one specific detail (for example, who introduced the hobby or how often you played). Use linking words like 'because' or 'since' appropriately.

例: Yes, I did. As a child I played volleyball often because my older brothers played too, and I usually practised with them every weekend.

提案: Use correct tense and a clearer structure: a topic sentence in present perfect or simple present, then a supporting detail in past tense if needed. Reduce redundancy and add a specific example of a childhood memory or habit.

例: Yes, I've played volleyball since I was a child. I remember practising daily with my older brother after school, which helped me develop my skills early on.

提案: Be concise and honest; start with a direct answer, then give a specific comparison or example between you and your family. Fix grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles) and avoid vague praise. Mention one concrete fact (e.g., who taught you, competitions played).

例: Yes, I share the same hobby as my family. My elder brother is an excellent player who taught me, and I have played in several local competitions while aiming to reach the district level.

× Yes, I have hobbies to play a volleyball.

✓ Yes, I have a hobby: I play volleyball.

The original has wrong article and word order. 'Hobbies to play a volleyball' is awkward. Use singular 'a hobby' if mentioning one, and 'play volleyball' (no article) is correct. Also use a colon or conjunction to connect ideas.

× Volleyball is my favorite game and I enjoy it and it's a good for their physical fitness and also I focused on volleyball to become a district player of volleyball.

✓ Volleyball is my favorite game and I enjoy it. It is good for my physical fitness, and I focus on volleyball to become a district-level player.

Errors: 'it's a good for their physical fitness' has incorrect article 'a' and wrong pronoun 'their' — use 'good for my physical fitness'. 'I focused' should match present habit so use 'I focus'. 'district player of volleyball' should be 'district-level player'. Split into sentences to improve clarity.

× Yes I have a hobby. When I had a child I play a volleyball because my elder brothers always play the volleyball and also in the my childhood time I play the volleyball because volleyball is my favorite hobby and personally I like it.

✓ Yes, I have a hobby. When I was a child I played volleyball because my older brothers always played volleyball. In my childhood I played volleyball often because it was my favorite pastime and I enjoyed it.

Mixed and incorrect tenses: 'When I had a child' should be 'When I was a child'. Use past tense 'played' for actions in the past. Avoid articles before 'volleyball' and use 'older brothers' instead of 'elder'. 'Personally I like it' should be past 'I enjoyed it' when describing childhood.

× Yes, I have a hobby to play volleyball when I was child I play the volleyball because volleyball is a my favorite game and in the childhood time I played every time volleyball because my elder brother are playing volleyball.

✓ Yes, I have a hobby of playing volleyball. When I was a child I played volleyball because it was my favorite game, and my older brother used to play volleyball too.

Mixes present and past incorrectly. Use 'have a hobby of playing' or 'my hobby is playing'. 'When I was a child' requires past tense 'played'. 'Every time' is unnatural; use 'used to' to express habitual past actions. 'Elder brother are' has subject-verb agreement error and wrong adjective 'elder'.

× Yes, of course, I have the same hobbies as my family members. My elder brother are the best player of volleyball and also I am the player. I am the good player of volleyball and everybody likes my volleyball skills and I hope I become a district level of volleyball.

✓ Yes, of course. I have the same hobbies as my family members. My older brother is the best volleyball player, and I am a player too. I am a good volleyball player, everyone likes my skills, and I hope to become a district-level player.

Subject-verb agreement: 'My elder brother are' should be 'My older brother is'. Article and adjective order errors: 'I am the good player' should be 'I am a good player'. 'Become a district level of volleyball' is incorrect; use 'become a district-level player'. Use 'everyone' instead of 'everybody' optionally and adjust verbs for parallel structure.