Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak more fluently and accurately: avoid filler words (uh), use correct verbs and plural/singular forms, and make sentences concise with linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (what kinds of movies, how they help).

例: I enjoy watching movies in my free time. For example, I often watch dramas and documentaries because they help me relax after work and teach me practical lessons I can apply to my life.

提案: Improve clarity and grammar: use past tense consistently, correct verb choices, and clearer vocabulary. Provide a direct topic sentence (Yes, I did), then one specific supporting detail (where you lived and what you did) using linking words like "because" or "so".

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child I lived in a rural area with lots of space, so I often rode my bicycle with friends; it was fun and relaxing.

提案: Be concise and precise: give a clear topic sentence about the long-term hobby, use the correct verbs (watch, not wash), and give a specific time reference. Limit to 2–3 sentences and use a linking word to explain why.

例: Yes, I have watched the Detective Conan series since I was a child. I still enjoy it because the mysteries are interesting and watching helps me relax.

提案: Organize answer with one clear sentence stating whether you share hobbies, then give specific contrasting examples of family members' hobbies. Use correct verbs and possessive forms, avoid repetition and fillers, and finish the sentence cleanly.

例: No, we have different hobbies. For example, my father enjoys gardening, my mother likes cooking, my brother plays football, and I prefer watching movies.

× Yes, when I have free time, I usually, uh, wash movies because it's quite healthy, relax and unwind from my work.

✓ Yes, when I have free time, I usually watch movies because it's a healthy way to relax and unwind from my work.

The verb 'wash' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'watch'. Also 'relax and unwind' needs a clear subject and 'it's quite healthy' is vague; change to 'it's a healthy way to relax' for natural expression. Use gerund 'watch' as present simple action.

× And more than that, I think movies can teach me more lesson that I can adapt with my life.

✓ Furthermore, I think movies can teach me more lessons that I can apply to my life.

'More lesson' is incorrect quantifier; plural 'lessons' is required. 'Adapt with my life' is wrong collocation; use 'apply to my life'. 'And more than that' is informal; 'Furthermore' fits better.

× Yes, when I watch a what a shy, I, uh, live in the rural areas, which is uh, have more space for me to lose bicycle.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I lived in a rural area, which had more space for me to ride a bicycle.

Tenses and vocabulary are incorrect: 'watch a what a shy' seems intended as 'was a child'. Use past tense 'was' and 'lived'. 'Rural areas' should be singular 'a rural area' or 'rural areas' with matching verb; here singular fits. 'Have' becomes past 'had'. 'Lose bicycle' is wrong verb; 'ride a bicycle' is correct.

× I usually load a bicycle with my friends if if was fun and relaxing.

✓ I used to ride a bicycle with my friends; it was fun and relaxing.

'Load a bicycle' is incorrect verb; 'ride' is correct. Repeated 'if if' is an error. Use past habitual 'used to' or simple past 'I rode'. 'It was fun and relaxing' uses past agreement.

× I think the hobby that I have seen, I think I was in the childhood, I think it's washing, uh, Detective Conan series.

✓ I think the hobby I had in childhood was watching the Detective Conan series.

Wrong verbs and noun forms: 'have seen' and 'I was in the childhood' are incorrect. Use past 'had' for childhood hobby and gerund 'watching' for the activity. 'Washing' is incorrect.

× I watched them since I was shy and it can help me relax.

✓ I have watched them since I was young, and they help me relax.

'Since I was shy' is incorrect word choice; 'since I was young' fits. Use present perfect 'have watched' with 'since' to indicate continuous action to present. Also change 'it can help' to 'they help' to match plural 'them'.

× No, I think uh, my family members, we, we have different hobbies such as, uh, my father like to plant the flowers, my mom like to keep cooking while my better like to play football.

✓ No, my family members and I have different hobbies: my father likes to plant flowers, my mom likes to cook, while my brother likes to play football.

Pronoun and subject issues: 'we, we' repetition removed. Use correct third-person singular 'likes' for 'father/mom/brother'. 'Better' is wrong word, should be 'brother'. 'Plant the flowers' -> 'plant flowers'. 'Keep cooking' should be 'cook'.

× Uh, for me, I like to watch movies, but.

✓ As for me, I like to watch movies.

Sentence ends with a trailing 'but' creating incomplete sentence. Remove 'but' or complete the contrast. Use 'As for me' for clarity.