Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your main hobby, avoid the odd phrase “enjoy working as a hobby,” and keep answers to at most 3–4 sentences. Add one specific detail (a typical route, duration, or what you think about) and use a linking word to connect ideas (for example, “and” or “so”).

例: My main hobby is walking. I go for walks three or four times a week, usually for about 45 minutes in a nearby park, because it helps me relieve stress and stay fit. Also, walking gives me quiet time to think and clear my mind.

提案: Good clarity and relevant detail. Improve by using a stronger topic sentence and one linking word to show cause and effect (e.g., “because” is fine but combine with “so” or “therefore”). Replace vague phrase “later activities” with a specific phrase such as “leisure activities.” Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I didn’t have many hobbies as a child because I was very busy with school. Both my parents worked full time, so I attended after-school classes in English, mathematics and science, and therefore I had little time for leisure activities.

提案: Avoid repetition and make the answer smoother. Begin with a clear topic sentence like “Yes — I have walked since childhood.” Use one linking word (for example, “so” or “therefore”) and add a specific supporting detail about routine or a memory that shows continuity.

例: Yes — I have been walking since childhood. I used to walk around my neighbourhood after school, and I still go for a walk after work most evenings to relax and keep fit.

提案: Good answer with specific detail. Make it slightly more concise and natural by starting with a direct topic sentence and using a linking word such as “and” to join ideas. Replace “reach my country” with “visit my home country” for clarity.

例: Yes, my mother and I both enjoy walking. When I visit my home country, we always go for a walk after dinner, either in the park or around our apartment complex, and it helps us relax and catch up.

× I enjoy working as a hobby.

✓ I enjoy walking as a hobby.

Using 'working' suggests a job rather than a leisure activity. The speaker means the activity of walking. Replace the present participle 'working' with the present participle 'walking' to correctly name the hobby. Suggestion: use the verb that accurately names the activity when saying 'I enjoy ... as a hobby'.

× They enrolled me after school classes.

✓ They enrolled me in after-school classes.

The correct preposition for joining classes is 'in'. Also, compound modifier 'after-school' should be hyphenated before the noun 'classes'. Use 'enrolled me in after-school classes' to show placement in those classes.

× I had to study English, mathematics and Science and hardly had time for later activities.

✓ I had to study English, mathematics and science and hardly had time for other activities.

'Science' should not be capitalized in this list unless it is part of a proper noun; use lowercase 'science'. The phrase 'later activities' is awkward; 'other activities' is the correct collocation to mean additional pastimes. Also no article change is needed beyond these adjustments.

× I've had a hobby since childhood, walking since I was young.

✓ I've had a hobby since childhood: walking since I was young.

The sentence is understandable but mixing clauses with a comma is weak. Use a colon to clarify that 'walking since I was young' specifies the hobby. The tense 'I've had' (present perfect) correctly indicates a hobby continuing from childhood to present.

× I regularly take a walk after school or work because it helps me relax and stay healthy, so I still do it now.

✓ I regularly take walks after school or work because they help me relax and stay healthy, so I still do them now.

Maintain number agreement: 'a walk' then referring back with 'it' is inconsistent. Use plural 'walks' and plural pronouns 'they' and 'them' to refer to the repeated action. Tense (present simple) is correct for habitual actions.

× When I reach my country, we always go for a walk after dinner, either strolling in the park or just walking around our apartment complex because it helps us relax and catch up.

✓ When I return to my country, we always go for a walk after dinner, either strolling in the park or just walking around our apartment complex, because it helps us relax and catch up.

'Reach my country' is a non-idiomatic expression; use 'return to my country' for coming back. Added a comma before the final 'because' clause for clarity. The rest of the sentence is grammatically correct and uses present tense for habitual action.