Reading— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise: avoid fillers (umm, uh) and repetitive phrases. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (e.g., what types of books you like and a concrete benefit). Use linking words (for example, because) to connect ideas and keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy reading. It’s one of my favorite hobbies because it helps me improve my critical thinking and information-scanning skills. For example, reading mystery novels teaches me to notice clues and make logical inferences.

提案: Clarify and avoid contradiction: your answer currently says both preferring paper and screen and repeats ‘screen.’ Give a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give two clear, specific reasons linked with because or moreover. Avoid repeating words and check grammar (e.g., “on paper” not “on a paper”).

例: I prefer reading on paper rather than on a screen. I find paper easier on the eyes and more comfortable for long reading sessions, and it feels more aesthetically pleasing because I can annotate and flip pages easily.

提案: Give a clear contrast with linking words and specific examples. Start with a direct statement about when careful reading is required, then contrast with leisure reading and explain how your reading style differs. Correct grammar (e.g., “for subjects such as history or biology” and avoid unclear phrases like “read my own on my own”).

例: I need to read carefully when I’m studying for exams, especially for subjects such as history or biology where details matter. In contrast, during my leisure time I read more casually for enjoyment and focus on the story rather than memorising facts.

提案: Be concise and avoid hesitations. Give a clear conditional statement using linking words (for example, when...; whereas...). Provide one specific scenario for scanning (e.g., looking for key facts in an exam) and one for detailed reading (e.g., enjoying fiction or studying). Correct vocabulary (leisure, not alleged).

例: It depends: I scan when I’m taking exams or searching for specific facts because I need to find information quickly. Whereas I read in detail when studying or enjoying a novel, so I can understand ideas and appreciate the language.

× reading is one of the my favorite hobbies

✓ reading is one of my favorite hobbies

The phrase contains an extra definite article 'the' before 'my', which is incorrect. Use 'one of my favorite hobbies' without 'the'. Suggestion: remove 'the' when using 'one of my' constructions.

× So my favorite genre of books.

✓ So, my favorite genre of books is fiction.

This is a sentence fragment lacking a verb or complement. Provide a complete clause with a verb (for example 'is') and a genre to complete the idea. Suggestion: add 'is' and specify the genre or rephrase to 'My favorite genre of books is...'.

× I mostly prefer to read on a paper and then on a screen because it's for me it's more convenient than reading on a screen

✓ I mostly prefer to read on paper rather than on a screen because, for me, it is more convenient

Use of the article 'a' with 'paper' is incorrect; the usual phrase is 'read on paper'. The original also repeats 'on a screen' and has awkward word order 'it's for me it's'. Use 'rather than' to contrast and place 'for me' parenthetically. Suggestion: remove 'a' before 'paper', use 'rather than', and simplify to 'for me, it is more convenient'.

× Also it's not too hard for our eyes and so it's seems like more aesthetic

✓ Also, it is not too hard on our eyes and it seems more aesthetically pleasing

Use 'on our eyes' rather than 'for our eyes' to indicate impact. 'It's seems' is incorrect: drop contraction and use 'it seems'. 'More aesthetic' is awkward; use the adverbial phrase 'more aesthetically pleasing'. Suggestion: use correct preposition 'on', fix verb agreement, and use appropriate adjective/adverb form.

× I mostly need to read carefully when I'm preparing in the exam and for many subjects like history subject or biology or an like this

✓ I mostly need to read carefully when I'm preparing for an exam and for many subjects like history or biology

Use 'preparing for an exam' not 'preparing in the exam'. 'History subject' is redundant; 'history' suffices. 'An like this' is ungrammatical; replace with 'or similar subjects' if needed. Suggestion: use 'preparing for an exam' and simplify subject names.

× But when I read in my leisure time, I read my own on my own

✓ But when I read in my leisure time, I read on my own

The phrase 'I read my own on my own' is redundant and contains an incorrect 'my own' before the verb. The intended meaning is likely 'I read alone' or 'I read on my own'. Suggestion: use 'I read on my own' or 'I read alone'.

× I mostly prefer to read on a paper and then on a screen because it's for me it's more convenient than reading on a screen

✓ I mostly prefer to read on paper rather than on a screen because, for me, it is more convenient

(Duplicate of earlier) 'on paper' not 'on a paper'; use 'rather than' for contrast and correct placement of 'for me'.

× Uh, that I said, umm, but I did, I read detailed when I'm reading in my alleged time

✓ Uh, as I said, I read in detail when I'm reading in my leisure time

'That I said' should be 'as I said' for natural speech. 'Read detailed' is incorrect; use the adverb 'in detail'. 'Alleged time' is wrong word choice; 'leisure time' is correct. Suggestion: use 'as I said', 'in detail', and 'leisure time'.

× so it's seems like more aesthetic

✓ so it seems more aesthetically pleasing

The original has subject-verb agreement error 'it's seems' (two auxiliaries). Remove contraction and use single verb 'seems'. Also use 'aesthetically pleasing' rather than 'more aesthetic'. Suggestion: use 'it seems' and the appropriate adjective/adverb form.