Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details and a linking word. Correct collocations (e.g., "reach my step goal" or "hit my daily steps"). Avoid slight awkward phrases like "gain my number of steps."

例: Not really. I usually run rather than walk, but I try to hit my daily step goal. For example, I aim for 10,000 steps a day, which I track with my phone.

提案: Good content and clear reasons. Improve coherence by using linking words and slightly more natural phrasing. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and avoid repeating ideas.

例: Yes. There were no smartphones then, so kids usually played outdoors. Also, I walked about 30 minutes each way to school, so I ended up walking roughly an hour every day.

提案: Organize your answer: give a clear topic sentence and two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid filler words and grammar mistakes (e.g., "I believe" not "I leave first", "go to a park", "more accessible than other sports").

例: I think people enjoy walking in parks because it’s relaxing and accessible. For one thing, parks offer a chance to be in nature, and for another, walking is easier and more convenient than many other sports, since parks are usually nearby.

提案: Make the response more precise and fluent. Use a clear topic sentence and explain why with specific details. Correct awkward phrases (e.g., "adds about a one hour way home").

例: I would love to hike Hocking Hills because I’ve heard it has beautiful scenery and great trails. Although it’s about an hour’s drive from my home, I think the views and hiking routes would make the trip worthwhile.

提案: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a direct answer, then give specific reason and detail. Remove fillers and fix noun phrases ("there is a rose garden that I always enjoy").

例: Yesterday I walked to Trinity Park, which is about ten minutes from my home. I was stressed from long working hours, so I went there to get some fresh air; there’s a lovely rose garden I always enjoy.

× I often run, but I don't take a walk a lot.

✓ I often run, but I don't take many walks.

The phrase 'take a walk' is countable when referring to frequency; here the speaker refers to multiple occasions. Use the plural noun 'walks' with 'many' to indicate frequency. Also 'a lot' after a verb phrase is less precise than 'many walks' for countable occasions.

× However, I try to gain my number of steps per day.

✓ However, I try to increase my number of steps per day.

The verb 'gain' is not typically used with 'number of steps'; 'increase' is the correct verb collocation. The pronoun use is acceptable but the verb choice created unnatural phrasing.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside to take a walk when you were a child?

The common collocation is 'take a walk' rather than 'have a walk' in this context. 'Did you ... when you were a child' correctly uses past tense, so only the verb collocation needed correction.

× Yes, it was a time when there was no Internet or smartphone, so kids always played outside.

✓ Yes, it was a time when there were no Internet or smartphones, so kids always played outside.

When referring to plural nouns 'Internet' (often uncountable) and 'smartphone' (countable plural), use 'were' with plural subject 'no ... smartphones'. Using plural 'smartphones' matches 'kids' and general context. If 'Internet' is treated as uncountable, 'was no Internet' is acceptable; here making both plural improves parallelism.

× Besides, I needed to walk 30 minutes to get to school, so I walked about one hour in total.

✓ Besides, I had to walk 30 minutes to get to school, so I walked about one hour in total.

Use 'had to' rather than 'needed to' to express obligation or necessity in past habitual context. 'Needed to' is not incorrect but 'had to' is more natural here. Tenses remain past.

× Walking is a very casual and easy activity. Besides, if you go to park, you can enjoy the feeling of nature and outside.

✓ Walking is a very casual and easy activity. Besides, if you go to a park, you can enjoy being in nature and the outdoors.

Use the article 'a' before 'park'. 'Enjoy the feeling of nature and outside' is awkward: use 'being in nature' and 'the outdoors' for natural English collocations.

× So if we uh, compared to other sports like swimming and playing tennis, you can always find nearby.

✓ So, compared to other sports like swimming and tennis, you can always find places to walk nearby.

The original sentence has fragmented structure and missing noun after 'find'. Removing 'we' and restructuring clarifies the comparison. Use 'places to walk' to specify what can be found 'nearby'.

× If I had a chance, I would like to go to Hocking Hills, which is a very famous hiking route.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to go to Hocking Hills, which is a very famous hiking area.

Use 'the chance' (common fixed expression) instead of 'a chance' here; both are possible but 'the chance' is more natural. Also, Hocking Hills is an area or park rather than a single 'route', so 'hiking area' or 'park' is more accurate.

× It adds about a one hour way home, but I heard the nature is beautiful and it is really fun.

✓ It's about an hour's walk from home, but I heard the nature is beautiful and it's really fun.

The phrase 'adds about a one hour way home' is ungrammatical. Use 'It's about an hour's walk from home' to indicate distance/time. Contractions 'it's' are acceptable in speech. 'I heard the nature is beautiful' is acceptable but 'the nature' is better as 'the scenery' or 'the area' — 'nature' can be used without 'the'.

× Where did you go for a walk lately?

✓ Where did you go for a walk recently?

In questions about a recent past event, 'recently' is the common adverb; 'lately' is usually used with present perfect (e.g., 'Have you gone for a walk lately?'). Changing to 'recently' matches the past simple question form.

× Yesterday I went to Trinity Park which is about 10 minutes away from.

✓ Yesterday I went to Trinity Park, which is about 10 minutes away.

The phrase 'away from' requires an object (away from where?). Omit 'from' to correctly state the distance/time: 'about 10 minutes away.' Also add a comma before the relative clause.

× I was a little bit stressed out because of long working hours so I needed to get some fresh air at the park.

✓ I was a little bit stressed out because of long working hours, so I needed to get some fresh air at the park.

Comma is needed before 'so' linking clauses. Tenses are correct; only punctuation correction improves clarity.

× There was uh, there are Rose Garden which is always enjoy.

✓ There was, uh, a rose garden there that I always enjoy.

Original mixes past and present and lacks articles and correct relative clause. Use 'There was' (past) then 'a rose garden' with article. 'Which is always enjoy' is ungrammatical; use 'that I always enjoy' to show the speaker's enjoyment. Maintain past tense consistency.