Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and relevant with good details about why you walk. Improve clarity and fluency by removing fillers, tightening sentences, and using linking words for coherence. Also correct minor grammar (everyday -> every day) and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I walk quite a lot, mainly around my home because I have three young children and I’m always moving to look after them. For example, we often play games like hide-and-seek, which involves a lot of walking, and we do this almost every day.

提案: Good clear answer with a topic sentence and supporting detail. To improve, add a specific memory or brief reason to make your response more vivid and use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I spent a lot of time outdoors as a child. For example, I often walked to my cousin’s house to play and chat because we were best friends, and those daily visits kept me active.

提案: Your answer covers reasons but has hesitation, repetition and a fragmented sentence. Improve by removing fillers, combining ideas with linking words, and providing a concise, varied list of benefits with a clear example.

例: People like walking in parks because it benefits both physical and mental health. For instance, a walk in my nearby park helps me reduce stress, boosts my energy, and improves my mood after a busy day.

提案: Strong, vivid answer with specific location and sensory details. Improve slightly by fixing minor grammar (greeneries -> greenery, help -> helps) and tightening wording to one or two linking phrases.

例: I would love to take a long walk at my farmhouse in the Indian countryside. Walking through the fields surrounded by greenery and birdsong always helps me feel refreshed and relaxed.

提案: Excellent, specific and descriptive response with past reference and feelings. To perfect it, combine sentences slightly and add a brief contrast or reason to make it more cohesive.

例: Just last weekend I walked in Centennial Park in Mississauga. After a long winter, the fresh greenery and tall trees were very refreshing, and strolling along the paths made me feel calm and relaxed.

× Guess I walk quite a lot, mostly around my home because I have 3 young children and I'm constantly moving to look after them and respond to their needs.

✓ I guess I walk quite a lot, mostly around my home because I have three young children and I'm constantly moving to look after them and respond to their needs.

This sentence is missing the subject 'I' before 'Guess'; starting with 'Guess' is informal and incomplete. Also, numerals in spoken/written English in this context are better written as words ('three'). Suggestion: always include the subject and use 'I guess' for a complete clause and spell small numbers as words in formal responses.

× We were best friends so I often went to her house to play and chat, which is why I walked there so frequently.

✓ We were best friends, so I often went to her house to play and chat, which is why I walked there so frequently.

The original sentence is grammatically acceptable but needs a comma before 'so' when joining independent clauses. This improves clarity. Suggestion: place a comma before coordinating conjunctions that join two independent clauses.

× for example, when we go to a walk in a nearby park, I feel more refreshed and I feel less stressed after a busy day.

✓ For example, when we go for a walk in a nearby park, I feel more refreshed and less stressed after a busy day.

The phrase should be 'go for a walk' not 'go to a walk' — this is an incorrect preposition and article usage. Also, avoid repeating 'I feel' for conciseness. Suggestion: use the collocation 'go for a walk' and combine repeated verbs to sound natural.

× Moreover, when and also I feel more energetic.

✓ Moreover, I also feel more energetic.

This fragment contains extraneous words ('when and') and incorrect word order. It lacks a clear subject-verb structure. Suggestion: remove the extraneous words and place the adverb 'also' after the subject for natural word order: 'I also feel...'.

× Walking through the fields surrounded by greeneries and singing of birds always help me feel refreshed and relaxed.

✓ Walking through the fields, surrounded by greenery and the singing of birds, always helps me feel refreshed and relaxed.

'Greeneries' is not a standard plural noun; use 'greenery' (uncountable). 'Singing of birds' is better as 'the singing of birds' or 'birds singing'. Also subject-verb agreement: the gerund phrase 'Walking...' is singular and requires 'helps' not 'help'. Suggestion: use 'greenery' and 'helps', and add articles or commas for clarity.