Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and precise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid irrelevant numbers or unclear phrases. Also correct grammar (use singular/plural and prepositions).

例: Yes. There are many tall buildings near my home because I live in a high-density urban area. For example, my apartment is on a street surrounded by several high-rise blocks, so the skyline from my window is mostly glass and concrete.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and add a specific reason and an example using a linking word. Improve grammar (plural forms, tenses) and reduce redundancy.

例: Yes, I often take photos of buildings when the light is interesting. For instance, when there is a colourful sunset I take pictures of the skyline because the warm light makes the glass facades reflect beautiful colours.

提案: Make your answer clearer and more specific. Start with a direct statement naming the building or its notable feature, then explain why you want to visit using linking words and concrete details. Avoid fillers and vague descriptions.

例: Yes. I would like to visit a building in the nearby city that displays digital images on its facade. I have seen it from a distance and heard it hosts large LED displays with portraits and artwork, so I want to go closer to see the installation and take photos.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then add specific reasons with linking words. Fix grammar (articles, verb forms) and finish your thought—don’t leave sentences incomplete. Limit to 2–3 sentences maximum.

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building again because it offers excellent views and a peaceful atmosphere. For example, when I lived on the 34th floor before, I enjoyed quiet nights and a wide cityscape that made the apartment feel more relaxing.

× Yes, they are tall buildings near my home because my home is a small apartment just like 15-4.

✓ Yes, there are tall buildings near my home because I live in a small apartment, number 15-4.

The original uses 'they are tall buildings' which is incorrect for existence; use 'there are' for plural existence (There be issue, ID 3). Also 'my home is a small apartment just like 15-4' is awkward and has article/number phrasing issues. Change to 'I live in a small apartment, number 15-4' to be natural and grammatically correct. Use plural 'buildings' with 'there are'. Grammar problem type ID: 1 and 3.

× So around my house is a certain route surrounding a lot of tall buildings.

✓ Around my house there is a road surrounded by many tall buildings.

The original word order is unnatural ('So around my house is a certain route surrounding a lot of tall buildings'). Use natural English word order: 'Around my house there is a road surrounded by many tall buildings.' Also 'a lot of' is informal; 'many' is more appropriate. This fixes preposition and sentence structure issues (IDs 11 and 26).

× Yes, I take a photo of building sometime when I saw the sunset or the sky really nice, I will take a picture of buildings with that view.

✓ Yes, I take photos of buildings sometimes; when I see a nice sunset or sky, I take pictures of the buildings with that view.

Multiple issues: tense consistency and pluralization. Use present simple for habitual action: 'I take photos of buildings sometimes.' Change 'sometime when I saw' to 'when I see' to match habitual present, and 'photo of building' to 'photos of buildings'. Also 'really nice' should be 'a nice' or 'very nice' (adjective usage). This addresses present tense and singular/plural errors (IDs 6 and 1).

× Yes, there is in the city near my house have the building that when I saw from really far is gonna show the picture of like, uh, someone fares and I heard about that building a lot, so I wanna visit that building.

✓ Yes, there is a building in the city near my house that, when seen from far away, displays an image of a person's face; I have heard about that building a lot, so I want to visit it.

The original contains incorrect use of 'there is in the city near my house have the building' and informal 'gonna', 'wanna'. Reorder to 'There is a building in the city near my house that, when seen from far away, displays an image of a person's face.' Use passive participle 'seen' and 'displays' for clarity, replace slang with 'want to'. This fixes 'there be' and sentence structure errors (IDs 3 and 26) and corrects verb forms (ID 9).

× Yes, of course, I really like tall building.

✓ Yes, of course, I really like tall buildings.

Use plural 'buildings' when speaking generally about tall buildings. 'I really like tall building' is missing pluralization. This fixes singular/plural and adjective-noun agreement (IDs 1 and 13).

× I have I have lived in tall building before and I'm at 34 four the view really nice and it's kind of like very peaceful because I.

✓ I have lived in a tall building before, and I lived on the 34th floor; the view was really nice and it was very peaceful.

The original repeats 'I have' and uses 'tall building' (singular/plural) and 'I'm at 34 four' is incorrect. Use present perfect 'I have lived in a tall building before' to indicate past experience, or simple past for specific past location: 'I lived on the 34th floor.' Clarify '34th floor' and fix sentence fragments by completing the thought: 'the view was really nice and it was very peaceful.' This addresses tense consistency and singular/plural errors (IDs 5,1) and sentence structure (ID 26).