Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid filler and unclear phrases (e.g., 'fairies developed', 'makes the sky more atmosphere').

例: Yes. There are several modern apartment towers near my home because I live in a newly developed area. For example, some buildings are 15 to 20 storeys high, and they dominate the skyline when I look out of my window.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Correct repetition and word order errors, and use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'visually striking', 'modern designs').

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings, especially when their architecture is visually striking. For instance, I often take pictures of modern facades and unique details whenever I visit a new city.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Use correct grammar for reasons and include one specific detail about the building or your planned activity. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

例: Yes. The Burj Khalifa in Dubai stands out because it is one of the tallest buildings in the world. I would love to visit the observation deck to see the panoramic view of the city and take photos.

提案: Give a concise topic sentence, then one or two specific reasons with linking words. Remove hesitations and correct tense consistency. Replace informal contractions ('wanna') with standard forms.

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because it offers great views and convenient amenities. For example, I imagine enjoying the cityscape from a balcony at sunset and having easy access to shops and transport nearby.

× Yes, there are a few tall buildings near my home 'cause I live in a fairies developed area so it's really quite common to see modern apartments near my home and some of them are about the 15 or 20 tall buildings which makes the sky more atmosphere and.

✓ Yes, there are a few tall buildings near my home because I live in a fairly developed area, so it is quite common to see modern apartment buildings nearby; some of them are about 15 or 20 stories tall, which makes the skyline more impressive.

Multiple sentence structure problems: incorrect word choice ('fairies' should be 'fairly'), run-on sentence and unclear phrasing ('about the 15 or 20 tall buildings'), and awkward clause 'makes the sky more atmosphere'. Suggest splitting into clear clauses, using correct adverb 'fairly', 'apartment buildings', 'stories tall' for height, and 'skyline' and 'impressive' for intended meaning. Improve punctuation to avoid run-on sentences. --- 'Grammar problem type ID' 26 applies because the sentence has overall structure and clarity problems.

× Yes, I do enjoy taking photos of buildings, but especially when architecture is visually striking and the modern particularly.

✓ Yes, I do enjoy taking photos of buildings, especially when the architecture is visually striking and modern.

Unnecessary word order and article use: 'when architecture' needs the definite article 'the architecture' to refer to architecture in general contexts; 'and the modern particularly' is awkward. Also remove redundant 'but'. Suggest concise order: 'especially when the architecture is visually striking and modern.' This fixes article and word order issues. --- 'Grammar problem type ID' 17 applies because a definite article was missing/incorrect.

× I'm really interested in taking photos of modern designs and whenever I visit a new place it's I I usually take photos of of them.

✓ I'm really interested in taking photos of modern designs, and whenever I visit a new place I usually take photos of them.

Problems: repetition ('I I', 'of of') and extra filler 'it's' causing ungrammatical structure. Use correct clause 'whenever I visit a new place, I usually take photos of them.' Keep the verb phrase 'taking photos' and remove duplications. This fits present habitual action. --- 'Grammar problem type ID' 10 applies because the sentence misuses participle-like fillers and has incorrect present participle structure.

× Yes, there are several buildings that I would love to visit, but which is really stands out is Burj Khalifa, which is in Dubai 'cause this building is one of the tallest building in the world.

✓ Yes, there are several buildings that I would love to visit, but the one that really stands out is the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, because this building is one of the tallest buildings in the world.

Errors: wrong relative clause 'but which is really stands out' should be 'but the one that really stands out'. Also agreement: 'one of the tallest building' should be plural 'tallest buildings'. Add definite article 'the Burj Khalifa'. These fixes correct singular/plural agreement and clause structure. --- 'Grammar problem type ID' 1 applies for singular/plural errors.

× That's why I really like it and I and I really wanna go top of.

✓ That's why I really like it, and I really want to go to the top.

Problems: informal 'wanna' should be 'want to' in formal correction; duplicated 'I and I'; incorrect phrase 'go top of' should be 'go to the top'. Use 'to' + noun and correct verb form. This fixes gerund/infinitive and prepositional usage. --- 'Grammar problem type ID' 8 applies because of incorrect verb form/infinitive usage.

× If I had a chance, I really wanted to live in a tall building, which offers so many opportunities to living.

✓ If I had the chance, I would really like to live in a tall building, which offers so many opportunities for living.

Conditional verb tense mismatch: 'If I had a chance, I really wanted' mixes past and would; use second conditional 'If I had the chance, I would really like'. Also 'opportunities to living' is incorrect; use 'opportunities for living' or 'opportunities for city living'. Change 'a chance' to 'the chance' for natural phrasing. --- 'Grammar problem type ID' 5 applies because of incorrect past/conditional tense usage.

× Especially I really love uh, see the view of the uh, city this especially at the sunset from the window or the balcony, so I just love it.

✓ I especially love seeing the view of the city at sunset from a window or a balcony, so I just love it.

Problems: word order and verb form 'love see' should be 'love seeing' (gerund), unnecessary fillers 'uh', incorrect article usage 'the sunset' can be 'at sunset' and choose 'a window or a balcony' or 'the window or the balcony' depending on context. Reorder to natural English: 'I especially love seeing the view of the city at sunset from a window or a balcony.' This corrects article and verb form issues. --- 'Grammar problem type ID' 17 applies because of article misuse and 'Grammar problem type ID' 8 also relevant for gerund use.