Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ตอบได้ตรงประเด็น แต่มีข้อควรปรับเรื่องโครงประโยคและความกระชับ ควรเริ่มด้วยประโยคหัวข้อชัดเจน 1 ประโยค แล้วเสริมรายละเอียดอีก 1–2 ประโยค ใช้ linking word ที่ถูกต้อง (เช่น “because” ใช้ในประโยคเดียวไม่ต้องซ้ำ) และแก้ไวยากรณ์บางจุด เช่น “because that way they can better accommodate the large number of people” ควรเป็น “because this allows them to accommodate more people”

例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. They are mainly public facilities, such as hospitals and schools, because tall structures allow these institutions to accommodate more people in a limited area.

提案: เนื้อหาชัดเจนแต่มีข้อผิดพลาดเรื่องไวยากรณ์ คำว่า “building” ควรเป็นพหูพจน์ “buildings” และประโยคควรใช้ linking phrase ให้เนียนกว่า เช่น “however” หรือ “but” พร้อมปรับให้กระชับและเป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น นอกจากนี้ให้เพิ่มรายละเอียดเฉพาะ เช่น เหตุผลว่าทำไมจะถ่ายเมื่อไปเมืองใหญ่ (เช่น สถาปัตยกรรมที่น่าสนใจ)

例: I don't usually photograph buildings because I often find them uninteresting. However, if I visit a large city like Bangkok, I might take photos of tall buildings because their architecture and night lighting can be very striking.

提案: ตอบมีประเด็นชัดเจนแต่ประโยคยาวและบางส่วนไม่เป็นธรรมชาติ ควรแบ่งเป็นประโยคสั้น ๆ ใช้ linking word (e.g., “because” และ “for example”) และปรับวลีให้ถูกต้อง เช่น “hard to find in my hometown” และเปลี่ยน “the urban areas” เป็น “the urban atmosphere” เพื่อความลื่นไหล

例: Yes, I would like to visit several shopping malls in Bangkok because they offer many products that are hard to find in my hometown. For example, I enjoy exploring specialty stores and experiencing the busy urban atmosphere.

提案: ความคิดชัดเจนและมีเหตุผล แต่ควรปรับไวยากรณ์และความลื่นไหล เช่น ใช้ “used to” แทน “in the past, I wanted” เพื่อความธรรมชาติ และปรับวลี “hearing so many news” เป็น “hearing so much news” หรือ “hearing many reports” เพิ่ม linking word เช่น “however” เพื่อเชื่อมประโยคอย่างเป็นธรรมชาติ

例: I used to want to live in a tall building because it would be exciting to enjoy the view from a higher floor. However, after hearing many reports about buildings collapsing during earthquakes, I now feel quite worried about the safety.

× The reason why they are normally tall because that way they can better accommodate the large number of people.

✓ The reason why they are normally tall is that this way they can better accommodate a large number of people.

Your sentence has a 'there be' style problem: the clause contains two predicates ('are normally tall' and 'because') without a linking verb to join the explanation. Use 'is that' to introduce the reason clause. Also change 'that way' to 'this way' for clarity and use 'a large number of people' (article usage with quantifier). Suggestion: restructure complex sentences by using 'is that' to introduce explanations and check article + quantifier usage. (Explanation in English as required.)

× I don't normally take photos of building because most of the time I find it boring and have nothing interesting in it.

✓ I don't normally take photos of buildings because most of the time I find it boring and there is nothing interesting in them.

Errors: countable noun and pronoun agreement plus 'there is' structure. 'Building' should be plural 'buildings' (singular/plural issue). Also 'have nothing interesting in it' is incorrect: use 'there is nothing interesting in them' to match plural and correct existential construction. Suggestion: ensure nouns match number and use 'there is/are' with 'nothing' and correct pronoun reference. (Explanation in English as required.)

× But in the future if I am visiting larger cities, for example Bangkok, I may take some pictures of tall buildings.

✓ But in the future if I visit larger cities, for example Bangkok, I may take some pictures of tall buildings.

Using 'am visiting' (present continuous) in a conditional referring to future possibility is unnatural here. Use simple present 'if I visit' in conditional clauses that refer to future events. Suggestion: use simple present in 'if' clauses for real future possibilities: 'if I visit'. (Explanation in English as required.)

× Yes, I would like to visit several malls in Bangkok because in their buildings there are so many interesting products that can be hard to find my hometown and I would like to enjoy the atmosphere of being in the urban areas.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit several malls in Bangkok because there are so many interesting products in those buildings that can be hard to find in my hometown, and I would like to enjoy the atmosphere of the urban areas.

Problems: awkward 'in their buildings there are' and missing preposition 'in my hometown'. Use 'there are ... in those buildings' for natural 'there be' structure. Add 'in' before 'my hometown' and change 'the urban areas' to 'the urban areas' is acceptable; keep article consistent. Suggestion: prefer 'there are' + location phrase and ensure prepositions are included for places ('in my hometown'). (Explanation in English as required.)

× In the past, I wanted to live in a tall building because that would be exciting to see the view from the higher level.

✓ In the past, I wanted to live in a tall building because it would be exciting to see the view from a higher level.

Minor issue: use 'it would be exciting' as the dummy subject. 'the higher level' is unnatural; use 'a higher level' to mean one of the upper floors. Suggestion: use 'it' as subject for anticipatory constructions and choose 'a' when speaking generally about higher floors. (Explanation in English as required.)

× But right now, after hearing so many news about building collapse during earthquakes, I feel scared.

✓ But right now, after hearing so much news about building collapses during earthquakes, I feel scared.

Errors: 'so many news' is incorrect because 'news' is uncountable—use 'so much news'. 'building collapse' should be plural 'building collapses' to match context. Suggestion: identify uncountable nouns (news) and use 'much' not 'many'; pluralize countable nouns when speaking about repeated events. (Explanation in English as required.)