Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid grammar mistakes and unnecessary phrases, and keep to 2–4 sentences. Use correct tense and articles, and replace unclear fragments (e.g. “Which makemytrip…”) with a clear concluding comment. Add one specific example to strengthen your answer.

例: I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching the changing landscape. For example, on a recent trip I noticed traditional houses and rice fields, which helped me understand the local culture. Overall, it makes the journey more relaxing and interesting.

提案: Give a direct answer first and then briefly explain with a specific reason or example. Avoid irrelevant self-labels and unclear words (e.g. “trap”). Correct grammar (plural/singular, verb forms) and use linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window. I usually post them to share my location and keep a photo streak with friends; for instance, I photographed a mountain sunrise last week to show how beautiful the view was.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference pattern. Use linking words (e.g. “however”, “for relaxation”, “for fun”) and avoid fillers and repetitions. Give one specific detail or short example for each preference to make your answer more vivid and coherent.

例: I like both the mountains and the sea, depending on my mood. For relaxation, I prefer the mountains because the green scenery and quiet trails help me feel calm; for fun holidays, I choose the beach so I can swim and try water sports with friends.

× I prefer to look out of the window when I am traveling by bus or a car.

✓ I prefer to look out of the window when I am traveling by bus or by car.

Use of prepositions with modes of transport: 'by bus' and 'by car' are correct parallel forms. 'a car' is unnecessary because we use 'by' for modes of transport; keeping both with 'by' makes the sentence consistent and grammatically correct.

× I like to watch the landscapes change because it's helped me to learn about the area, enjoy the fresh air and the smell, and feel calm before I arrive.

✓ I like to watch the landscapes change because it has helped me learn about the area, enjoy the fresh air and the smells, and feel calm before I arrive.

Pronoun 'it' with contraction 'it's' incorrectly reflects present; use present perfect 'it has helped' to show past experience continuing to present. Remove 'to' after 'helped me' (helped me learn, not helped me to learn) and pluralize 'smell' to 'smells' when referring to sensory impressions in general.

× Which makemytrip more exciting or interesting?

✓ Which makes my trip more exciting or interesting?

The original lacks proper word order and spacing: 'makemytrip' should be 'makes my trip'. The sentence needs subject 'Which' followed by verb 'makes' and object 'my trip' to form a correct question.

× I am a very social, active person.

✓ I am a very social, active person.

No grammatical correction needed; original sentence is correct. Included here to indicate no change; keep as is.

× I take pictures or send a snap to maintain my streaks or tell the people where I am now or how I am enjoying my trip.

✓ I take pictures or send a snap to maintain my streaks or tell people where I am or how I am enjoying my trip.

Remove unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'people' and redundant 'now'. The verb forms are fine; streamlining makes the sentence more natural.

× So I take picture of every moment whenever I go to the trap.

✓ So I take pictures of every moment whenever I go on a trip.

Use plural 'pictures' not singular 'picture' to match 'every moment' and correct noun 'trap' to 'trip'. Also use preposition 'on' with 'go on a trip'.

× When I'm feeling sad or overstressed, I go.

✓ When I'm feeling sad or overstressed, I go to the mountains.

Original sentence 'I go' is incomplete because it lacks an object or destination. Add 'to the mountains' to clarify where the speaker goes when upset, fitting context.

× I prefer mountain because the greenery, the views give me calmness.

✓ I prefer the mountains because the greenery and the views give me calmness.

Use plural 'the mountains' to refer generally; add 'and' between nouns for correct coordination. 'Give me calmness' is grammatically acceptable but could be improved to 'make me feel calm' for naturalness.

× And if I want to go on holidays for enjoyment, then I prefer beach.

✓ And if I want to go on holiday for enjoyment, then I prefer the beach.

Use 'on holiday' (British) or 'on vacation' (American). Add definite article 'the' before 'beach' when speaking about a specific type of place generally.

× Go on on those activities over there and swim in the water.

✓ I take part in activities there and swim in the water.

Original fragment 'Go on on those activities' has repeated preposition and lacks subject. Add subject 'I' and use 'take part in activities there' to form a complete, grammatical sentence and remove duplicate 'on'.