Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but has some grammatical errors, redundancy and could be more concise. Improve by using a direct topic sentence, correct grammar (omit extra articles and pronouns), and add one specific detail about what kinds of views you prefer. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I love taking photos of different views because they help me feel close to nature. For example, I often photograph sunsets and rivers near my home. Although I don't own a professional camera, I use my iPhone to capture these scenes whenever I have free time.

提案: Good content and clear preference, but avoid filler words (uh) and redundant clauses. Start with a concise topic sentence, then give specific reasons and an example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to make the answer coherent and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views because I find them more peaceful and scenic. Although I grew up in a city, I feel more connected to the countryside, so I often photograph farms, fields and small villages. I usually print my best shots for my room and post others on social media.

提案: Your answer communicates preference but has grammar mistakes (tenses, articles) and unclear statements ("never been to any places in my country"). Make a clear topic sentence, correct tense and add a specific detail about what you liked in Nepal. Avoid repeating 'personally' and keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in other countries, especially Nepal, which I visited last year. I loved its mountain landscapes and traditional villages, which were very different from what I've seen before. Because of that experience, I tend to seek out foreign rural scenery when I travel.

× I feel very connected to the nature and I personally I'd like to take the picture of nature.

✓ I feel very connected to nature and I personally would like to take pictures of nature.

Use of the definite article 'the' before 'nature' is unnecessary; 'nature' is an uncountable noun here (Grammar problem type 22), and 'take the picture of nature' is unnatural. Also 'I'd like' contracted is fine but combining 'personally I'd like' is awkward; expand to 'would like'. Use plural 'pictures' to match general habit. Suggestion: remove 'the' and use 'pictures' or 'photographs' for natural phrasing.

× I don't have a proper camera but with my iPhone I take picture of different views every day whenever I get time.

✓ I don't have a proper camera, but with my iPhone I take pictures of different views every day whenever I have time.

'take picture' is missing plural form 'pictures' (singular/plural issue 1 and article error 22). Also 'whenever I get time' is acceptable but 'whenever I have time' is more natural. Add a comma before 'but' for clarity. Suggestion: use plural 'pictures' and 'have time' for natural collocation.

× Personally, I like rural areas. Uh, though I grew up in urban areas, but I feel very connected to the rural areas.

✓ Personally, I like rural areas. Although I grew up in urban areas, I feel very connected to rural areas.

Using both 'though' and 'but' together is redundant (conjunction error 16 and sentence structure error 26). Also 'the rural areas' is unnecessary; use 'rural areas' without 'the' (article error 22). Suggestion: choose one conjunction ('although' or 'but') and remove the extra article.

× And because of that fact, I like to take pictures of rural areas and have them hang up on my, uh, room and also I post them on my social media.

✓ Because of that, I like to take pictures of rural areas and hang them up in my room, and I also post them on my social media.

Phrase 'have them hang up on my room' is incorrect: use active 'hang them up in my room' and preposition 'in' for room (preposition issue 11). Also 'because of that fact' is wordy; 'because of that' or 'for that reason' is better. Suggestion: use active verb 'hang' and correct preposition 'in', and place 'also' before the verb for clarity.

× Personally I prefer the views of foreign countries which is Nepal because I visited it on last year.

✓ Personally, I prefer the views of other countries, such as Nepal, because I visited it last year.

'Which is Nepal' is incorrect relative clause; use 'such as Nepal' (sentence structure 26). 'Visited it on last year' is ungrammatical: use 'last year' without 'on' (preposition error 11). Also 'foreign countries' with singular 'Nepal' is mismatched; 'other countries' is clearer. Suggestion: remove 'on' before 'last year' and use 'such as' to give an example.

× I've never been to any places in my country but I've been to Nepal and it was very beautiful.

✓ I've never been to any places in my country, but I've been to Nepal, and it was very beautiful.

Grammatically this sentence is mostly correct but needs commas for clarity. Note: 'any places' is acceptable conversationally, but more natural would be 'any place' or 'many places' depending on meaning (singular/plural issue 1). Suggestion: consider 'I've never been to any place in my country' or 'I've never visited anywhere in my country' for smoother phrasing.

× The views are amazing and it's filled with rural areas so personally I feel I prefer views in other countries.

✓ The views were amazing and it is filled with rural areas, so personally I feel I prefer views in other countries.

Tense inconsistency: earlier sentence described a past visit ('it was very beautiful'), so 'The views are amazing' should match past tense ('were amazing') unless speaking generally (tense issue 6/5). Also 'it's filled with rural areas' refers to Nepal; 'it is' can remain present if stating a general fact, but keep consistency. The phrase 'personally I feel I prefer views in other countries' is wordy; 'I prefer views in other countries' is sufficient. Suggestion: keep tense consistent (use past when describing that trip) and simplify the clause about preference.