Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise, correct grammar and word choice, and add one specific example. Use a clear topic sentence, then one or two supporting details with linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I do. I love taking photos when I travel because they help me remember the atmosphere of a place. For example, last summer I photographed a sunset over a mountain lake and later shared it with friends to show how peaceful the spot felt.

提案: Good structure and relevant vocabulary. Improve by correcting minor grammar (article use, plural forms) and add a linking phrase to make the answer more coherent. Provide one concrete example or short comparison to strengthen the response.

例: I prefer rural views because the air is fresher and the green surroundings are relaxing. For example, after a busy week I often go for long walks in a nearby forest, which helps me feel refreshed compared with noisy city streets.

提案: Clarify and tighten your answer: correct repetition and phrasing, give one specific reason and an example of a place. Use linking words (for example, also) and avoid vague phrases like “so often.” Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because we have stunning coastlines and beautiful mountains. For example, I often visit the nearby sandy beaches for weekend walks, and I enjoy hiking in the mountains for fresh air and scenic views.

× Honestly yes, I always like to take beautiful photos when I travel.

✓ Honestly, yes, I always like to take beautiful photos when I travel.

Missing comma after introductory adverb 'Honestly' and before 'yes' makes the sentence slightly awkward; add comma for correct punctuation and natural pause.

× I have lots of things pictures on my phone from different places.

✓ I have lots of pictures on my phone from different places.

Word order is incorrect: 'things pictures' is not grammatical. Use the noun 'pictures' directly with the quantifier 'lots of'. Remove 'things' to correct the phrase.

× I enjoy capturing landscapes and St. scenes because they have to remember the atmosphere and share my trips with friends.

✓ I enjoy capturing landscapes and street scenes because they help me remember the atmosphere and share my trips with friends.

Multiple issues: 'St. scenes' is an incorrect abbreviation—use 'street scenes'. 'They have to remember' is ungrammatical here; the intended meaning is that the photos 'help me remember', so use 'help me remember' (verb + object). Also maintain pronoun reference to photos with 'they' or explicitly 'these photos'.

× I especially like going for a long walks.

✓ I especially like going for long walks.

Singular/plural mismatch: 'a long walks' combines the singular article 'a' with plural 'walks'. Remove 'a' to match plural 'walks' or change to 'a long walk' if singular is intended.

× Well, I prefer the views in my own country because it's a popular tourist destination with stunning coastlines and clean sandy beaches beaches.

✓ Well, I prefer the views in my own country because it is a popular tourist destination with stunning coastlines and clean sandy beaches.

Repeated word 'beaches beaches' is a typo; remove the duplicate. Also 'it's' can be expanded to 'it is' for formality but either is acceptable. Ensure pronoun 'it' clearly refers to 'my country'.

× I also love the nearby mountains which offer fresh air and great hiking trails so often.

✓ I also love the nearby mountains, which offer fresh air and great hiking trails, so often.

Placement of 'so often' at the end is awkward. Better to place commas to set off the relative clause and keep 'so often' after 'I also love' if the meaning is frequency: 'I also so often love the nearby mountains' is odd. Recommended correction keeps original meaning but adds commas; alternatively, remove 'so often' or change to 'and I often go there' for clarity.