Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific detail or example. Use linking words (for example, also) to organize ideas and correct small grammar mistakes (e.g., 'I used to' → 'I usually').

例: Yes, I do. I usually take photographs when I visit the countryside in my state because I enjoy capturing natural scenery. For example, last month I photographed a river valley at sunset, which showed vivid colors and calm reflections.

提案: Give a clear comparison and avoid hesitations and repetition. Begin with a direct preference, then briefly explain why and add a specific supporting detail. Use linking words like 'however' or 'but' correctly.

例: I prefer urban views because I live in a city and enjoy the architecture and lively streets. However, I also photograph rural areas sometimes because the countryside offers peaceful landscapes, like rolling hills and traditional farmhouses.

提案: Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. State your preference clearly (both, with reason), give one specific example with correct grammar, and finish the thought. Correct small errors (e.g., 'my country has' not 'have has').

例: I like photographing views both in my country and abroad because each offers something different. For example, at home I enjoy historic plazas, while in Argentina last year I photographed a brightly painted building called the Pink House, which contrasted beautifully with the surrounding square.

× Yes, I do. When I go to the countryside of my state, I used to take pictures of different parts of views because I love it.

✓ Yes, I do. When I go to the countryside of my state, I take pictures of different views because I love it.

The phrase 'used to take' indicates a past habitual action which conflicts with 'When I go' (present/future general habit). Replace with simple present 'take' to show a habitual action that still happens. Also 'different parts of views' is awkward; use 'different views' or 'different parts of the landscape.' Suggestion: use consistent tense for habitual actions and simplify noun phrases.

× My friends enjoy me to take pictures of them.

✓ My friends enjoy my taking pictures of them.

After verbs like 'enjoy', a gerund is required for the action (my taking) rather than an object plus infinitive. 'Enjoy me to take' is incorrect structure. Use 'enjoy my taking pictures' or 'like it when I take pictures of them.' Also 'of them' is fine for photographing people.

× So I think it's very important to do other activities like you used to do.

✓ So I think it's very important to do other activities like you do.

The original mixes tenses and adds unnecessary 'used to', which implies past habit. The question is general, so 'like you do' (present habitual) is appropriate. Keep tense consistent and remove redundant words.

× I prefer views in urban areas because I live in an urban city and but I enjoy taking pictures, as as I said before, in the countryside of the part of the state because there are many beautiful views on that place and it's important to to you know, to take away of your daily routine.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas because I live in a city, but I also enjoy taking pictures in the countryside of the state because there are many beautiful views there and it helps you take a break from your daily routine.

The original contains redundant conjunctions ('and but'), repeated words ('as as', 'to to'), and awkward prepositions ('on that place', 'take away of your daily routine'). Correct by using a single contrasting conjunction 'but', remove repetitions, use 'there' for location, and change 'take away of your daily routine' to 'take a break from your daily routine.' Also simplify 'urban city' to 'city.' Maintain parallel structure.

× Uh, I prefer both, you know, my country have has beautiful places to take pictures, but when I went to the Argentina last year, I took many pictures of that city.

✓ Uh, I prefer both. My country has beautiful places to take pictures, but when I went to Argentina last year, I took many pictures in that city.

Use singular verb 'has' with singular subject 'my country' (remove 'have'). Do not use the definite article before country names like 'Argentina' ('the Argentina' is incorrect). 'Took many pictures of that city' is understandable but 'in that city' is more natural for location. Split into clearer sentences and keep past tense 'went' and 'took' consistent for the past event.

× So for example, Pink house is a beautiful place to take picture and the the.

✓ For example, the Pink House is a beautiful place to take pictures.

Proper nouns like named buildings can take the definite article if part of the name or descriptor; use 'the Pink House' if that's the common name. 'House' capitalized if it's a proper name. Use plural 'pictures' with 'take' in general context. Remove repeated 'the the' and incomplete ending. Ensure the sentence is complete and grammatically parallel.