Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and complete your ideas with clear reasons and specific examples. Use a topic sentence, then one or two supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and unfinished phrases. Work on sentence structure and basic vocabulary (e.g., “beautiful,” “interesting,” “memorable”).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they capture unique moments and scenes. For example, I often photograph sunsets and city skylines to remember how light changes the atmosphere. Also, sharing these photos with friends helps me describe places I visit.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give specific reasons and an example using linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example,” “also”). Correct basic grammar (e.g., “prefer,” “peaceful,” “in rural areas”) and avoid short, fragmented sentences.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are quieter and more peaceful. For example, I like photographing fields and rivers where there are fewer people and less traffic, which helps me relax and focus on composition.

提案: State your choice clearly, then explain with specific comparisons and examples. Use comparative language correctly (e.g., “more varied,” “more diverse”) and avoid vague statements. Add one concrete example of a place or feature to make your answer more convincing.

例: I prefer views in my own country because it offers more varied landscapes. For instance, I can visit mountains, beaches, and historic towns without traveling far, so I get a wide range of scenes to photograph.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because pictures of different views are very. Since for example a news new views.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because they are very interesting. For example, news programs often show new views.

The original has incomplete clause 'very' without an adjective and awkward fragments. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Combine ideas into complete sentences: use a clear adjective 'interesting' after 'very' and connect the example with a full sentence. Also replace the repeated noun phrase with the pronoun 'they' to avoid redundancy. Suggestion: Ensure every sentence has a subject and a predicate; complete comparative/adjective phrases (e.g., 'very interesting'); use pronouns to avoid repetition.

× I pray for views in rural areas because rural areas are very quiet and peace. I can feel peaceful when I in your areas and.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because rural areas are very quiet and peaceful. I feel calm when I am in rural areas.

The student used 'pray' instead of 'prefer' (word choice) and 'peace' where an adjective 'peaceful' is needed; 'I in your areas' is ungrammatical. These are sentence structure and word-choice errors (ID 26). Use the correct verb 'prefer', adjective 'peaceful', and include the verb 'am' with the subject 'I' and correct 'your areas' to 'rural areas'. Suggestion: Choose verbs that match meaning ('prefer' not 'pray'); use adjectives after 'very' ('very peaceful'); ensure subject-verb combinations ('I am in...').

× I prefer views in my country because my country is very big and I can see many different things in my country than other countries.

✓ I prefer views in my country because it is very big and I can see more different things there than in other countries.

The phrase 'many different things in my country than other countries' is an incorrect comparative structure (ID 25). Comparisons require parallel forms and comparative words like 'more' and parallel prepositional phrases ('in my country' vs 'in other countries'). Replace repeated 'my country' with 'it' and use 'there' for location. Suggestion: Use 'more' for comparisons of quantity and keep parallel structure: '...see more things there than in other countries.'