Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and a brief example. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g. 'memorize' → 'remember', remove extra 'the'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' once.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because they help me remember my trips. For example, when I visited Kyoto last year, photos of the temples and gardens helped me recall details I would have otherwise forgotten.

提案: Provide a clear, grammatical topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, because, such as). Avoid repetition and filler words like 'vast vast'. Keep to maximum 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views because they offer natural scenery and a peaceful atmosphere. For example, I enjoy looking at forests and rivers, and the wide open sky helps me relax after a busy week in the city.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar: use singular/plural and article forms ('other countries', 'high population density'). Give a specific contrast and one example. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to make your point clear.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they often have different landscapes than Tokyo. For example, Tokyo is crowded and full of buildings, while I enjoyed the open beaches and quiet countryside I saw in New Zealand, which made for clearer, more attractive photos.

× Yes, I like taking pictures in different places because I can memorize by taking photos.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures in different places because I can remember things by taking photos.

The verb 'memorize' is incorrect in this context; 'memorize' means to intentionally commit to memory. Native speakers use 'remember' for recalling experiences. Also 'by taking photos' correctly follows as a method. Suggestion: use 'remember' when referring to recalling events or places.

× If I don't take photos in traveling, I forget visiting the the places or.

✓ If I don't take photos while traveling, I forget visiting the places.

Errors: 'in traveling' should be 'while traveling' (preposition/phrase choice), double 'the the', and trailing 'or' is unnecessary. Use 'while' to indicate during an activity and remove extra words. Suggestion: say 'while traveling' and eliminate redundant words.

× I prefer the views of rural area because in rural area we can see the nature like forest, river and sky big vast vast vast sky and they I can relax by seeing them in.

✓ I prefer the views of rural areas because in the countryside we can see nature, such as forests, rivers and a vast sky, and I can relax by looking at them.

Multiple issues: 'rural area' should be plural or 'the countryside', 'see the nature' should be 'see nature', plural nouns like 'forest' and 'river' should be 'forests' and 'rivers', and 'big vast vast vast sky' is repetitive; use 'a vast sky'. Also word order and extra words 'they I' and ending 'in' are incorrect. Suggestion: use plural forms and concise adjectives like 'a vast sky', and reorder for clarity.

× I prefer the views in other country rather than Japan because I live in Tokyo in Japan and Tokyo is a very small city and the population is high density so the photos looks like messy in in but how country in contrast?

✓ I prefer the views in other countries rather than in Japan because I live in Tokyo, and Tokyo is very crowded, so photos look messy there; how are other countries in contrast?

Multiple preposition and agreement issues: 'in other country' should be 'in other countries' or 'in another country'; compare 'rather than in Japan'. 'The population is high density' is unnatural; use 'very crowded' or 'high population density'. 'Photos looks' should be 'photos look' (subject-verb agreement). Remove duplicate 'in' and rephrase the contrast question: 'how are other countries in contrast?'. Suggestion: use 'in other countries' or 'in another country', say 'very crowded' or 'have high population density', and ensure subject-verb agreement.