Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Améliorez la fluidité et corrigez les répétitions et les erreurs grammaticales. Commencez par une phrase claire répondant directement à la question, évitez de répéter des mots (« save to save ») et corrigez l’accord (« views »). Ajoutez une ou deux phrases de soutien avec un exemple concret using linking words (« because », « so », « for example »).

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing different views because it helps me preserve beautiful moments and create memories. For example, I often take photos at sunset to capture the colours and the calm atmosphere.

提案: Réduisez les hésitations ("uh") et corrigez la prononciation/mots incorrects (« lush », « clothes »). Donnez une phrase claire indiquant votre préférence, puis développez avec détails spécifiques (lieu, ce que vous avez vu) en utilisant des mots de liaison pour la cohérence. Évitez les erreurs de vocabulaire et fournissez un exemple précis et structuré.

例: I prefer rural or open areas because I enjoy seeing the sky, the sun and the clouds. For example, on my last trip with friends to a mountain village, we saw many trees and wide open fields, which felt very peaceful.

提案: Corrigez la grammaire et la structure (« In this moment » → « At the moment »; « in another countries » → « in other countries »). Répondez directement puis expliquez pourquoi, en donnant un plan concret ou un souhait réaliste. Utilisez des mots de liaison pour la logique ("however", "for example", "I hope to").

例: At the moment I have only seen views in my own country, but I often watch videos of places like Switzerland and Spain on Instagram and they look amazing. I hope to travel abroad in the future to experience those landscapes in person, maybe within the next two years.

× I like taking pictures for different views because I like to save to save this beautiful views and to create some memories.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views because I like to save these beautiful views and create some memories.

The sentence uses incorrect preposition and article/determiner forms. Use 'pictures of' not 'pictures for'. 'This beautiful views' is wrong: 'this' is singular demonstrative; use 'these' for plural 'views'. Also remove the repeated phrase 'to save' and the unnecessary 'to' before 'create'. Suggestion: read aloud and check agreement between demonstratives and nouns and avoid repeated fragments.

× For example, my lush, my last, my last trip with, uh, my friends, uh, in uh, mountain shop call, we see many clothes and uh, many trees.

✓ For example, on my last trip with my friends to a place called Mountain Shop, we saw many clouds and many trees.

Multiple errors: 'my last trip' is correct but filler words removed; 'in mountain shop call' should be 'to a place called Mountain Shop' or similar. 'We see' should be past tense 'we saw' because referring to a past trip. 'clothes' is incorrect word choice; context indicates 'clouds'. Also use 'on my last trip' or 'during my last trip'. Suggestion: choose correct nouns (clouds vs clothes) and match tense to the time frame.

× For example, my lush, my last, my last trip with, uh, my friends, uh, in uh, mountain shop call, we see many clothes and uh, many trees.

✓ For example, on my last trip with my friends to a place called Mountain Shop, we saw many clouds and many trees.

The event happened in the past, so the verb should be in past tense: 'see' becomes 'saw'. Also clean up hesitations. Suggestion: when describing past events, consistently use past tense verbs.

× I prefer views in open areas because, uh, I like, uh, to see the sun and the clouds.

✓ I prefer views in open areas because I like to see the sun and the clouds.

Main issue here is extraneous fillers; preposition 'in open areas' is acceptable but could also be 'in open areas' or 'in the countryside'. Ensure prepositions match context. Suggestion: omit fillers 'uh' and keep prepositions concise.

× In this moment I see only views in my country, but I see some videos in Instagram for open views in another countries like Switzerland and Spain.

✓ At the moment I only see views in my country, but I have seen some videos on Instagram of open views in other countries like Switzerland and Spain.

'In this moment' should be 'at the moment'. 'I see only views' is awkward; 'I only see views in my country' is better. Referring to videos you watched: use present perfect 'I have seen' or past 'I saw'. Preposition: use 'on Instagram' and 'of open views' rather than 'for open views'. 'Another countries' is incorrect: use 'other countries'. Suggestion: use correct time expressions and prepositions, and match tense to the action described.

× It's very amazing and I wish to try to prepare or to travel here to see this view.

✓ It's very amazing and I would like to try to travel there to see these views.

'I wish to try to prepare or to travel here' is awkward and uses incorrect modal/verb patterns. Use 'I would like to try to travel there' or 'I hope to travel there'. 'Here' versus 'there': if the views are in other countries, use 'there'. 'This view' should match plural 'these views' or singular depending; 'views' is plural. Suggestion: choose appropriate modal verb ('would like', 'hope') and correct place deictic ('there').