Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn rõ ràng và tự nhiên nhưng có thể cải thiện bằng cách ngắn gọn hơn (không quá 5 câu), sử dụng từ vựng miêu tả cụ thể hơn và thêm một ví dụ hoặc lý do cụ thể để làm câu trả lời phong phú hơn. Ngoài ra tránh lặp từ (ví dụ “taking pictures” nhiều lần) và có thể dùng liên từ để liên kết ý mạch lạc hơn.

例: Yes, I enjoy photography, especially when I travel. I often shoot landscapes and portraits of local people to capture the atmosphere and tell a story. For example, last year I photographed fishermen at dawn, which showed their daily routine and the soft morning light.

提案: Bạn đã trả lời trực tiếp nhưng câu có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và từ dùng sai (ví dụ “city cats, gaps” và “Where is”) khiến ý không rõ ràng. Cần dùng câu ngắn, cấu trúc đúng, và liên từ phù hợp để so sánh hai lựa chọn. Thêm chi tiết cụ thể về lý do và ví dụ thực tế sẽ tăng tính thuyết phục.

例: Honestly, I prefer both depending on my mood. In cities I like photographing busy streets and tall buildings because they feel energetic. By contrast, rural areas with rolling hills and open fields are peaceful and help me relax, so I often take photos there on weekends.

提案: Ý chính có nhưng diễn đạt lặp, ngắt quãng và có lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ “each country has their own beauty arts across”). Cần tránh tiếng lấp và từ không cần thiết (umm), sửa lỗi số nhiều/đại từ, và đưa ra một ví dụ cụ thể về điều bạn thích ở Việt Nam và ở nước ngoài để làm rõ quan điểm.

例: Each country has its own unique beauty. I love Vietnam for its diverse landscapes and vibrant culture, although the hot weather can be tiring. At the same time, I enjoy visiting other countries to photograph different architecture and traditions, such as the colorful markets in Morocco.

× Yes I do. Taking pictures is one of my hobbies, especially when I go traveling.

✓ Yes, I do. Taking pictures is one of my hobbies, especially when I travel.

Use 'travel' (base form) after 'when' for habitual or general actions. 'Go traveling' is not wrong but 'travel' is more concise and fits the present habitual context. Add commas for clarity.

× I like taking pictures of different landscapes and local people to capture the moments and the atmosphere.

✓ I like taking pictures of different landscapes and local people to capture moments and atmosphere.

Omit unnecessary articles 'the' before uncountable nouns 'moments' and 'atmosphere' when speaking generally. Sentence structure is improved by removing repetition and keeping it natural.

× Well honestly I would say both.

✓ Well, honestly, I would say both.

Punctuation (commas) helps indicate the parenthetical adverb 'honestly'. This is not strictly grammatical but improves sentence clarity and naturalness.

× I enjoy urban views like bustling city cats, gaps and skyscrapers because they feel exciting and full of energy.

✓ I enjoy urban views like bustling city streets, alleys and skyscrapers because they feel exciting and full of energy.

'Cats' is a wrong word here; likely intended 'streets'. 'Gaps' is incorrect for urban features; 'alleys' or 'gaps between buildings' works. Use nouns that match meaning.

× Where is rolling hills and open views in rural areas are a tranquil and help me unwind on weekends.

✓ Whereas rolling hills and open views in rural areas are tranquil and help me unwind on weekends.

The original mixes 'where' and 'are' incorrectly. Use 'Whereas' to contrast, make 'hills and views' plural subjects agree with 'are', and use adjective 'tranquil' without 'a'. Also 'help me unwind' is correct.

× Well, each country has their own beauty arts across.

✓ Well, each country has its own beauty.

Use possessive pronoun 'its' to agree with singular 'each country'. 'Beauty arts across' is ungrammatical and redundant; simplify to 'its own beauty'.

× Vietnam is my own country so I love everything about my country except for the hot weather here.

✓ Vietnam is my country, so I love everything about it except the hot weather here.

Avoid repeating 'my country'; use pronoun 'it'. Use comma before 'so' when joining clauses. 'Except the hot weather' is more natural than 'except for the hot weather' though both are acceptable.

× Umm. However, I would also umm enjoy seeing views in other countries as well.

✓ However, I would also enjoy seeing views in other countries.

Remove filler 'umm' and redundant 'also' with 'as well'. Keeps sentence concise and natural.