Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + reason), avoid fillers (uh, umm) and grammar mistakes. Add one specific supporting detail and use a linking word. For example, explain what you prefer instead of taking photos and give a brief reason.

例: No, I don't usually take many photos because I prefer to remember scenes in my mind. For instance, when I visit a scenic place I focus on enjoying the moment rather than photographing it, so I feel more relaxed.

提案: Clarify your preference and make the reasons coherent. Avoid contradicting statements (liking urban areas but mentioning nature) and remove fillers. Use linking words to connect ideas and give a concrete example or comparison.

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the energy and architecture of cities. For example, walking along a riverfront or through a historic district relaxes me more than quiet countryside paths, since cities offer cafés and people-watching that lift my mood.

提案: Make the contrast clear: state your preference first and then give concise reasons. Correct grammar (use 'Switzerland' and simplify repetition). Add a specific detail about what appeals to you abroad.

例: I prefer views in other countries, especially places like Switzerland, because the scenery is very different from home. For example, I admire the snow-capped Alps and clear mountain lakes there, which offer a fresh and dramatic landscape compared with what I'm used to.

× I prefer umm, just remaining in my memory to taking a lot of pictures, so I think it is enough.

✓ I prefer just keeping things in my memory to taking a lot of pictures, so I think that is enough.

The phrase 'prefer ... to ...' requires the verb forms after 'prefer' and 'to' to be parallel. 'Remaining in my memory to taking' mixes 'remaining' and 'taking' awkwardly and uses 'remaining' where 'keeping' or 'remembering' is more natural. Use 'keeping ... in my memory' to match 'taking' as a gerund and to convey the intended meaning. Also add 'that' for clarity: 'so I think that is enough.'

× I like urban areas because I feel more relaxed and relieved when I saw beautiful nature or landscape.

✓ I like urban areas because I feel more relaxed and relieved when I see beautiful nature or landscapes.

The sentence describes a general present-tense preference, so verbs should be in the present simple. 'Saw' is past tense and should be 'see.' Also 'landscape' should be plural 'landscapes' to match 'beautiful nature' as general examples, or use 'the landscape' for a general concept.

× Umm, I usually feel umm, stiff.

✓ Umm, I usually feel tense.

'Stiff' is possible but often describes physical stiffness; 'tense' better matches the emotional or mental feeling intended when discussing relaxation. This is a word-choice/structure improvement to match context and make the sentence natural.

× I think I am used to viewing my own country, so I am accustomed to see some of the natures in my country, so I prefer watching beautiful landscapes in other countries such as Swiss.

✓ I think I am used to viewing my own country, so I am accustomed to seeing some of the natural sights in my country, so I prefer watching beautiful landscapes in other countries such as Switzerland.

After 'accustomed to,' a gerund is required, so 'see' should be 'seeing.' 'Natures' is not idiomatic; use 'natural sights' or 'natural scenery.' 'Swiss' is an adjective; the country name should be 'Switzerland.' The present tense 'am used to' and 'am accustomed to' are correct, but verb form and noun choices must be adjusted for correct grammar and naturalness.