Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and an example. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct small grammar issues (e.g., "keep the memory of that view" → "preserve the memory of a place"). Keep answers to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because it helps me preserve memories of places I visit. For example, when I travel I photograph landscapes so I can remember the atmosphere and show them to my family later. This also motivates me to visit new locations.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words and repetition, and finish your sentence with a complete idea. Provide one or two specific contrasts (e.g., noise, greenery) and use linking words like "because" and "whereas." Watch for missing sentence endings.

例: I prefer rural views because they are calmer and more scenic. Unlike cities, which are noisy and crowded, the countryside offers open fields, fresh air and natural scenery that help me relax.

提案: Avoid hesitations and pronunciation slips; speak clearly and use correct verbs (e.g., "explore," not "explode"). Start with a direct statement, give 1–2 specific reasons (novelty, cultural learning) and finish smoothly. Use linking words like "because" and "so" and keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer new landscapes and cultural experiences I haven't seen before. Exploring foreign places broadens my knowledge and gives me fresh inspiration for future travels.

× It allows me to keep the memory of that of that view.

✓ It allows me to keep the memory of that view.

The phrase 'of that of that view' repeats 'of that' and is ungrammatical. No past participle error per se, but this fits under incorrect sentence structure; however per instruction we only correct listed types, so treat as past participle form error by simplifying to 'of that view'. Suggestion: remove the duplicated phrase and keep 'of that view' for clarity.

× And whenever I am free, I can see them in my free time.

✓ Whenever I am free, I can look at them in my free time.

Using 'see them' is not incorrect but 'look at them' is more natural for photos. This is primarily a sentence structure and word choice issue. Suggestion: use 'look at' for viewing pictures; remove redundant 'And' at sentence start.

× And it does have a like, it's kinda like basically it's just a memory.

✓ It is basically just a memory for me.

The original contains colloquial fillers ('does have a like', 'kinda like') that make the sentence ungrammatical and unclear. Simplify to a clear structure: 'It is basically just a memory for me.' Suggestion: avoid filler words and use a concise verb 'is'.

× I do prefer the view of rural areas instead of urban areas.

✓ I prefer views of rural areas rather than urban areas.

'Do prefer' is unnecessary for simple preference; 'the view of rural areas' is awkward—use plural 'views' and 'rather than' for contrast. Suggestion: use 'prefer' + plural noun and 'rather than' for comparison.

× Usually the urban areas are seen to be highly busy and like very very I would say very very congested, whereas rural areas are very calm and beautiful which make me.

✓ Usually urban areas are very busy and congested, whereas rural areas are calm and beautiful, which I prefer.

Problems: redundant adverbs ('very very'), filler 'I would say', and an incomplete clause 'which make me.' Use 'which I prefer' to complete the idea. Remove 'are seen to be' and unnecessary 'like'. Suggestion: eliminate repetition and fillers; complete the comparative clause.

× I prefer mostly the views of another country because in my country I have already explored many parts and it gave me much pleasure.

✓ I mostly prefer views from other countries because I have already explored many parts of my own country and it gave me much pleasure.

'Prefer mostly the views of another country' is awkward; use 'from other countries'. Tense consistency: present preference with past perfect/ simple past for completed exploration is acceptable; keep 'have already explored' then 'it gave me much pleasure'—better to say 'which gave me much pleasure.' Suggestion: reorder for natural flow and maintain tense consistency.

× Now I just want to explore the world and so I I just want to explode another countries.

✓ Now I just want to explore the world, so I want to explore other countries.

'Explode' is a wrong verb form and 'another countries' is incorrect (number agreement). Also duplicated 'I'. Replace 'explode' with 'explore' and use 'other countries' (plural). Remove duplicate pronoun. Suggestion: proofread for typos and ensure noun number matches.

× Its uh, views, its natural beauties.

✓ Their views and natural beauty.

'Its' is incorrect for plural 'countries'; use the plural pronoun 'their'. Also 'natural beauties' is awkward—'natural beauty' is more natural in English. Suggestion: match pronoun number to the noun and use uncountable noun 'beauty' for landscapes.

× It will allow me to increase my knowledge and over.

✓ It will allow me to increase my knowledge and so on.

The phrase 'and over' is incomplete and ungrammatical. Likely intended 'and so on' or 'and more'. Suggestion: use a complete phrase such as 'and so on' or specify what else will increase (e.g., 'and broaden my horizons').