Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I do), then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct errors like "my all of the memorable moments" -> "all my memorable moments" and "the beauty of place I have visited" -> "the beauty of places I visit." Keep answers under five sentences.

例: Yes, I do. I like photographing different views because it lets me capture all my memorable moments and the beauty of places I visit. For example, I often take landscape shots when I travel so I can remember the light and colours later.

提案: Answer directly and use correct nouns and clear reasons. Begin with a topic sentence (I prefer urban/rural views). Use linking words (because, for example) and give one specific reason or example. Replace unclear phrases like "a urban science" and "ex new experience" with correct expressions such as "urban scenery" and "new experiences."

例: I prefer urban scenery because cities offer striking contrasts of architecture and street life. For example, I enjoy photographing modern buildings and busy markets, which give me interesting details and new experiences.

提案: Respond with a clear statement and specific supporting details. Fix unclear words ("Fuse" -> "those views" or "views") and grammar ("a childhood trips" -> "childhood trips"). Use linking words (because, for example) and give a concise personal reason or example about memories or familiarity.

例: I usually prefer views in my own country because they feel familiar and connect me to strong personal memories. For example, rural landscapes remind me of childhood trips to the countryside, so I feel more emotionally attached to those scenes.

× I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photography helps me to capture my all of the memorable moments and the beauty of place I have visited.

✓ I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photography helps me capture all of my memorable moments and the beauty of the places I have visited.

Errors: 'my all of the memorable moments' has incorrect word order and article use; should be 'all of my memorable moments' or 'all my memorable moments'. 'the beauty of place I have visited' misses plural and article; use 'the places I have visited'. Suggestion: Put 'all' before 'my', remove extra 'the', make 'place' plural to match 'visited'. Keep present perfect 'have visited' to indicate past experiences relevant now.

× I think for a view I prefer a urban science because I can enjoy the view and also I can do some ex new experience in there.

✓ I think for views I prefer an urban scene because I can enjoy the view and also have some new experiences there.

Errors: 'a urban' uses wrong article; before vowel sound use 'an'. 'science' is wrong word choice; likely 'scene'. 'for a view I prefer' is awkward; use plural 'views' or 'a view' consistently; here 'views' fits question. 'do some ex new experience' is incorrect phrasing; use 'have some new experiences'. 'in there' is unnatural; use 'there'. Suggestion: Use correct article 'an', correct noun 'scene', pluralize 'experiences', and simplify verbs to 'have'.

× I usually prefer Fuse in my own country because they are familiar and strong personal memories such as a childhood trips to the countryside.

✓ I usually prefer places in my own country because they are familiar and hold strong personal memories, such as childhood trips to the countryside.

Errors: 'Fuse' is likely a typo; should be 'places'. 'they are familiar and strong personal memories' incorrectly links people/things to memories; use 'hold' or 'evoke' strong personal memories. 'a childhood trips' mixes article with plural; use 'childhood trips' without 'a' or 'a childhood trip' singular. Suggestion: Replace typo with 'places', use a verb like 'hold' for memories, and fix noun phrase to 'childhood trips'.