Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons or an example. Avoid repetition (e.g., “for me” and “for taking pictures”). Use linking words like “because” or “for example” to connect ideas and include a brief example of a recent photo.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because it helps me capture memorable moments. For example, last month I photographed a sunset over the city skyline, and I liked how the colours contrasted with the buildings.

提案: Clarify and support your preference with specific details and avoid contradictory phrases (urban areas are usually less 'natural' and 'fresher'). State the reason clearly and give one concrete example or contrast. Use a linking word like “because” or “for instance.”

例: I prefer urban views because I like the combination of architecture and vibrant street life. For instance, I enjoy photographing old buildings and busy markets that show the city’s character.

提案: Answer the question directly (state preference) and then give specific supporting details. Avoid vague lists and the phrase “and so on.” Use linking words like “because” and provide one clear example of a scene you like at home compared to abroad.

例: I prefer views in my own country because the riverside architecture and traditional buildings are unique. For example, the old riverside district near my town has colourful houses and historic bridges that I love to photograph.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because for taking pictures it's incredible moment for me, especially for new views for me.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because taking pictures is an incredible moment for me, especially when I see new views.

The original sentence misuses the prepositional phrase 'for taking pictures' and the clause 'it's incredible moment for me'. Replace 'for taking pictures' with the gerund clause 'taking pictures' as the subject and use the adjectival phrase 'an incredible moment for me'. Also change 'especially for new views for me' to 'especially when I see new views' to make the meaning clear and grammatically correct. Suggestion: keep gerund as subject (Taking pictures) and use articles ('an incredible moment').

× I prefer urban areas. In urban areas we can see beautiful scenery, natural atmosphere and fresher air.

✓ I prefer urban areas. In urban areas we can see beautiful scenery, a natural atmosphere, and fresher air.

The list items need consistent noun forms and appropriate articles. Add the article 'a' before 'natural atmosphere' to make the noun phrase grammatical. Also include commas for list clarity. The pronoun use 'we' is acceptable here. Suggestion: ensure parallel noun phrases and include articles where required.

× I have river views in my country because we have many scenes in our country, such as the building, the old building, the art, scenery, architecture and so on.

✓ My country has many river views, because we have many sights such as buildings, old buildings, art, scenery, and interesting architecture.

The original sentence uses awkward structure 'I have river views in my country' and repetitive phrases 'in our country'. Use 'My country has' to state possession of views. Replace 'scenes' with 'sights' and make nouns plural and parallel ('buildings, old buildings'). Remove vague 'and so on' and use a concise list. Suggestion: avoid repeating phrases and use parallel plural nouns for clarity.