Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and clear, but it is slightly repetitive and a little long. Start with a concise topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating phrases like "very beautiful" and unnecessary fillers (e.g., "I would usually").

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, when I go hiking I often take pictures of mountain ridges and river valleys because the light at sunrise makes the scenery dramatic.

提案: Your response answers the question directly but has grammatical errors and hesitations. Use a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons connected with linking words (e.g., "because" and "so"). Remove repetition and fix subject-verb agreement and unnecessary fillers.

例: I prefer rural views because they are more scenic and peaceful. For example, I enjoy wide fields and quiet lakes which help me relax, whereas urban areas are noisy and crowded.

提案: Good content and specific examples, but watch for minor grammar issues and redundancy ("foreign foreigners", "where they are very beautiful"). Begin with a clear topic sentence and then list one or two specific examples with brief descriptions to improve coherence.

例: I prefer views in my own country because the Philippines has many stunning spots. For instance, Boracay’s white-sand beaches and the rolling hills of the countryside offer unique landscapes that I often enjoy visiting.

× I do love taking pictures of different views, for example when I go for a hike, when I go to a very beautiful place, I would usually take my phone out and take pictures with the beautiful views like the mountains, rivers.

✓ I do love taking pictures of different views; for example, when I go for a hike or visit a very beautiful place, I usually take my phone out and take pictures of the beautiful views, like mountains and rivers.

The sentence had awkward phrasing and redundant clauses. Use 'go for a hike or visit a very beautiful place' to avoid repetition. 'Would usually' is inappropriate in this context; use simple present 'usually' for habitual actions. Use 'take pictures of' (correct preposition) and list items without 'the' when speaking generally. Also add punctuation for clarity.

× I prefer rural areas more than urban areas because the places in rural areas it's very scenic, it's beautiful and it I can I find it more relaxing compared to urban areas where it's densely populated.

✓ I prefer rural areas to urban areas because places in the countryside are very scenic and beautiful, and I find them more relaxing compared to urban areas, which are densely populated.

Multiple issues: use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'prefer A more than B' (conjunction/structure). Remove redundant pronouns ('it's', 'I can I'). Use 'places in the countryside are' (subject-verb agreement and article use). Use 'which are densely populated' to refer back to urban areas. Simplify to improve fluency.

× I prefer views in my own country because Philippines has a lot of tourist spots where foreign foreigners usually come and visit.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because the Philippines has a lot of tourist spots that foreign visitors usually come to see.

Use the definite article 'the Philippines'. 'Foreign foreigners' is redundant—use 'foreign visitors'. Use 'spots that visitors come to see' rather than 'come and visit' for clearer verb usage and idiomatic phrasing.

× We have the Boracay Islands, plains, hills, valleys, beaches where they are very beautiful.

✓ We have Boracay Island, plains, hills, valleys, and beaches, which are all very beautiful.

Fix sentence structure: list items should be parallel and consistent ('Boracay Island' singular is common usage). Remove unnecessary 'the' before a proper name. Use a relative clause 'which are all very beautiful' to describe the listed places. Ensure parallelism with commas and 'and' before the last item.