Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (what kinds of views, when you take them) and avoid unnecessary repetition. Use linking words like “for example” or “also,” and correct verb forms (e.g., “sometimes,” “we all sit together”).

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often take landscape photos and pictures during family gatherings when we all sit together and take selfies. I also upload some of these images to social media, where they receive a lot of attention.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and support it with specific reasons and one linking word. Correct grammar (e.g., “their views,” “the number of trees,” “they improve my mood”). Be concise and avoid repeating the same idea.

例: I prefer rural views because they are calmer and greener. For example, the abundance of trees and open fields makes the scenery peaceful, which relaxes me and improves my mood.

提案: Make your position clear in the first sentence and give one or two specific reasons using correct conditionals. Avoid unclear phrasing like “it is not a essential for me.” Use linking words such as “however” or “therefore.”

例: I would prefer to see views in other countries because I already know the scenery in my country. If I had the chance, I would visit foreign countries to experience different landscapes and cultures, especially places I have seen and admired on social media.

× Different views definitely yes.

✓ I definitely like different views.

The original sentence is fragmented and lacks a proper subject-verb structure. Reordering and adding the verb 'like' creates a complete sentence that answers the question clearly. Use subject + adverb + verb + object: 'I definitely like different views.'

× I often prefer to take pictures of different things, especially landscape and sometime on our traditional events where we all family members sit together and click a lot of selfies which I uploaded on social media and get huge views on it.

✓ I often prefer to take pictures of different things, especially landscapes and sometimes at our traditional events where all of our family members sit together and take a lot of selfies, which I upload on social media and get many views.

Multiple issues: plural for 'landscape' and 'sometimes' adverb form; preposition 'at' is correct for events; phrase 'all family members' needs possessive 'our' and natural word order; 'click' is informal — 'take' is better; verb tense consistency: use present simple 'upload' and 'get' to match habitual actions; 'huge views on it' is unnatural — use 'many views'. Corrections follow rules for plural, adverb form, prepositions, pronouns, verb choice, and tense consistency.

× I uploaded on social media and get huge views on it.

✓ I upload them on social media and get many views.

Pronoun reference and verb tense were inconsistent. Use 'them' to refer to 'selfies' (plural) and present simple 'upload'/'get' for habitual actions. 'Huge views on it' is unnatural; 'many views' is clearer and agrees in number.

× I love to take pictures in rural areas because of its view.

✓ I love to take pictures in rural areas because of their views.

'Rural areas' is plural, so the possessive pronoun should be 'their' and 'view' should be plural 'views' to agree in number. Maintain subject-pronoun agreement.

× I enjoy it because of its serene environment and number of trees gives me a lot of greenery and it improve my mood and my mental health also.

✓ I enjoy them because of their serene environment; the large number of trees gives me a lot of greenery, and it improves my mood and my mental health.

Fixes: match pronouns to plural 'rural areas' ('them'/'their'); use 'the number' or 'the large number of trees' and singular verb 'gives'; subject-verb agreement for 'it improves'; punctuation/sentence splitting improves clarity. Also move 'also' to sound natural.

× As I am familiar with our views so it is not a essential for me to enjoy our view.

✓ As I am familiar with our views, it is not essential for me to enjoy them.

Remove unnecessary 'so' after 'As' (causes redundancy); 'a essential' incorrect article use — should be 'essential' without 'a'; 'our view' should be 'them' to match plural 'views'. Also add comma after clause.

× So if I would get a chance, I would definitely go to other countries and see the beauty of them and I want to see the view of their scenery which I often received from social media.

✓ So if I got a chance, I would definitely go to other countries and see their beauty; I want to see the scenery I often see on social media.

Conditional type: use 'If I got a chance' or 'If I had the chance' with 'would' in the main clause (second conditional). Avoid 'would' in both clauses. Replace 'see the beauty of them' with 'see their beauty' for natural phrasing. Use present simple 'see' for repeated exposure 'I often see on social media' rather than past 'received'. 'View of their scenery' is awkward — 'see the scenery' is clearer.