Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid fillers (e.g., "uh"). Provide a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small grammar issues and complete the final thought. Aim for natural phrasing and varied vocabulary (e.g., "scenery," "landscape," "views").

例: Yes, I love taking photos of different views. For example, when I travel I often photograph coastlines and mountain ranges to preserve memories, and I usually edit and share the best shots on social media so friends can see the places I visit.

提案: Clarify vocabulary ("candy sign" seems incorrect) and finish your ideas. Start with a clear topic sentence, then use linking words (e.g., "however," "on the other hand") and give specific examples of urban and rural features. Keep to 2–4 sentences and avoid vague phrases like "I think both have."

例: It depends on my mood: sometimes I prefer the vibrant energy of city views because I enjoy skyscrapers and bustling streets, but other times I choose rural scenes for their peaceful fields and clear skies. Both types of views inspire me for different reasons.

提案: Good structure and relevant details. To improve, use a linking phrase to compare more smoothly (e.g., "whereas"), and add one specific example of a memorable view at home and one abroad to make your answer more vivid and concrete.

例: I enjoy views both at home and abroad: at home I love the familiar coastal cliffs that remind me of childhood trips, whereas abroad I appreciate places like the alpine lakes in Switzerland because they offer new scenery and cultural experiences.

× Taking photos helps me keep my special moments and remember the places I have visited.

✓ Taking photos helps me keep my special moments and remember the places I have visited.

No correction needed; sentence is grammatically correct. It uses pronouns appropriately. (Included only to confirm no change is required.)

× I also enjoy sharing my pictures on social media so my friend can see the landscape.

✓ I also enjoy sharing my pictures on social media so my friends can see the landscapes.

The original uses singular 'my friend' and singular 'the landscape' while referring to sharing with an audience and multiple images/places. Use plural 'friends' and 'landscapes' to match the intended meaning and maintain agreement between quantifiers and nouns. Suggestion: use plural when speaking about a general audience or multiple scenes.

× I like especially sunshine and.

✓ I especially like sunshine.

Original sentence is fragmented and the word order is awkward. Move 'especially' before the verb and complete the object 'sunshine' to form a full sentence. Avoid trailing conjunctions or incomplete phrases.

× Honestly it depends on my mood.

✓ Honestly, it depends on my mood.

Missing comma after introductory adverb 'Honestly' creates a minor punctuation/structure issue. Adding a comma clarifies the sentence structure and improves readability.

× Sometimes I'm down to the busy excitement, energetic lifestyle of city view, but at other times I just want the peace and quiet of a candy sign.

✓ Sometimes I'm drawn to the busy, exciting, energetic lifestyle of city life, but at other times I just want the peace and quiet of a countryside town.

Multiple issues: 'down to' is incorrect phrase; use 'drawn to'. 'Busy excitement, energetic lifestyle' needs parallel adjectives separated by commas. 'City view' is unnatural; use 'city life'. 'Candy sign' seems to be a mishearing; likely intended 'countryside' or 'quiet village'—'countryside town' fits meaning. Suggested corrections fix verb phrase, adjective order and choice of nouns for clear meaning.

× I think both have.

✓ I think both do.

'I think both have' is incomplete; 'have' requires an object. Using the auxiliary 'do' completes the clause and correctly responds to the previous idea (both have appeal/benefits). Alternatively, specify the object: 'I think both have their advantages.' Suggestion: supply the missing object or use 'do' to stand in for the verb phrase.

× My own country feels familiar and comforting because the landscapes and the memories I have there, while other countries offer a sense of novelty, allowing me to discover different cultures and scenery.

✓ My own country feels familiar and comforting because of the landscapes and the memories I have there, while other countries offer a sense of novelty, allowing me to discover different cultures and scenery.

The phrase 'because the landscapes and the memories I have there' is missing a preposition 'of' after 'because' to link the cause properly. Adding 'of' corrects the sentence structure and clarifies that landscapes and memories are the reasons. This fixes a prepositional usage error and keeps present tense consistent.