Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use correct tense and grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views), then give one or two specific supporting details with correct verb forms and sequencing words. Use linking words to make the answer coherent and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, last year I visited Shimbala and took several pictures of the mountains; when I came home I looked through them and remembered the trip clearly.

提案: Give a direct, complete topic sentence and explain why with a specific reason and example. Avoid vague endings. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' and finish the thought in one or two supporting sentences.

例: I prefer views in urban areas because I like the lively skyline and interesting architecture. For instance, I enjoy watching city lights at night, which create a dramatic and memorable scene.

提案: Make the answer grammatically correct and clearer. State your preference, give a concise reason, and add a short example. Use proper tense and avoid filler phrases like 'you' at the end.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they feel more novel and interesting to me. For example, visiting a new country lets me see unfamiliar landscapes and cultural landmarks that I haven't seen at home.

× Yes, I'll have to take pictures of different views.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views.

The student used 'I'll have to' which indicates future obligation, not a habitual preference. The sentence should express a general liking, so use present simple 'I like taking' or 'I enjoy taking'. Suggestion: use present simple for habits and preferences.

× There are many places where I've visited and I took a pictures as I remember last time I go to Shimbala and there I took a picture of mountains and when I come back at home that I saw that.

✓ There are many places I have visited. I remember that last time I went to Shimbala I took a picture of the mountains, and when I came home I saw it.

Multiple past-tense errors: 'I've visited' is acceptable for experiences but mixing tenses caused confusion. 'I took a pictures' has article and plural errors; use 'a picture' or 'pictures'. 'Last time I go' uses present instead of past; correct is 'I went'. 'When I come back at home' incorrect verb tense and preposition: use past 'came' and 'home' without 'at'. Use consistent past tense for past events. Suggestions: keep past events in past simple (went, took, came) and correct article/plural usage.

× To be honest, mostly I give my preference to enjoy a view in urban areas rather than rural areas, because in urban areas we can see.

✓ To be honest, I mostly prefer to enjoy views in urban areas rather than rural areas, because in urban areas there is more to see.

Problems: 'give my preference to enjoy' is unnatural; use 'prefer to enjoy' or 'prefer'. 'a view' should be plural 'views' when speaking generally. The clause 'we can see' is incomplete; use 'there is more to see' to indicate variety. Also adverb placement: 'mostly' should come before the verb 'prefer'. Suggestion: use 'prefer' + infinitive for preferences and complete comparative clause.

× Mostly I give my preference to enjoy a view in other countries because in my own country I was I am really familiar, so that's why I love to visit in other countries and enjoy you.

✓ Mostly I prefer views in other countries because I am very familiar with my own country, so I like visiting other countries and enjoying their scenery.

Mixed and incorrect tenses: 'I was I am really familiar' mixes past and present; keep present 'I am very familiar'. 'Give my preference to enjoy a view' is unnatural — use 'prefer views'. 'Visit in other countries' should be 'visit other countries'. 'Enjoy you' is incorrect; likely meant 'enjoy them' or 'enjoy the scenery'. Suggestions: use present tense for current states, correct verb patterns ('prefer' + noun), and correct pronouns ('them' or 'the scenery').

× There are many places where I've visited and I took a pictures as I remember last time I go to Shimbala and there I took a picture of mountains and when I come back at home that I saw that.

✓ There are many places I have visited. I remember that last time I went to Shimbala I took a picture of the mountains, and when I came home I saw it.

Article and noun number errors: 'a pictures' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'a picture' or 'pictures'. 'A picture of mountains' is acceptable but 'the mountains' is more natural if referring to specific mountains. Also 'at home' is incorrect; use 'home' without 'at'. Suggestion: match articles to singular/plural nouns and use definite article for specific items.