Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は意図が伝わりますが、結論の明確さ・文の構造・語彙の幅を改善するとより自然で高得点になります。具体的には：1) 主題文で簡潔に答える（例: "Yes, I enjoy taking photos."）。2) 支持情報は2文以内で整理し、接続詞（because, so, and）や副詞（often, sometimes）を使って論理的につなげる。3) 家族に共有する場面など、具体的な例や頻度（how often）を入れて詳細を増やす。4) 同じ単語（picture, sometimes, family）を繰り返さないように類語（photo, occasionally, relatives）を使う。

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos, especially with my smartphone. For example, I often photograph my two children playing at home and I usually share those photos with my parents and sister via messaging apps.

提案: 答えは意味が分かりますが、表現が不自然で冗長です。改善点：1) 最初の一文で好みをはっきり述べる（"I prefer urban areas."）。2) 理由は一つか二つに絞り、接続詞でつなげる（because, also）。3) 時制や語順を整え、繰り返しを避ける（"at night"を一度だけ使う）。4) 具体的な例（夜景や建築物）を加えると説得力が増す。

例: I prefer urban areas because I love city lights and modern architecture at night. However, I sometimes drive to nearby mountains for peaceful views when I want a change.

提案: 答えは短く繰り返しが多く、具体性や構成が不足しています。改善点：1) 主語の繰り返しを避け、簡潔に答える（"I prefer views in my own country."）。2) 理由は具体的に述べる（文化、風景、季節の違いなど）。3) 補足として対比や例を加える（"whereas"や"for example"を使用）。4) 文を完結させ、未完の文を避ける。

例: I prefer views in my own country because Japan offers a unique mix of traditional scenery and modern cityscapes. For example, I enjoy cherry blossoms in spring and neon-lit streets in Tokyo, which I don't often see elsewhere.

× Yes, I like taking pictures by my smartphone and I have two kids, so I sometimes take a picture of them and then, umm, sometimes I share that with my families and grandmother or grandfather or my sister.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures with my smartphone. I have two kids, so I sometimes take pictures of them and then sometimes share them with my family, my grandmother, my grandfather, or my sister.

The student used incorrect preposition 'by' instead of 'with' for the instrument (use with), and misused plural 'families' instead of the uncountable/collective 'family'. Pronoun reference and number were inconsistent: 'a picture of them' is awkward when referring to multiple photos, so make it plural and keep pronouns consistent. Suggestions: use 'with my smartphone', use 'pictures' to match plural subjects, and use 'my family' for relatives collectively.

× I prefer urban areas because I like the lights in night, at night and sometimes I go to the good view place like mountain by car and sometimes.

✓ I prefer urban areas because I like the lights at night. Sometimes I drive to scenic places like mountains by car.

The phrase should be 'at night' not 'in night'. 'The lights at night' is the natural collocation. 'Good view place' is unnatural; use 'scenic places' or 'viewpoints'. Also word order was repeated and 'like mountain' needs plural or article: 'like mountains' or 'like a mountain' and use 'drive' for traveling by car. Suggestions: use 'at night', 'scenic places', and 'drive to'.

× I prefer my own country because my own country is Japan and it's very unique city, unique country. So we have.

✓ I prefer my own country because it is Japan and it is a very unique country.

The student repeated 'my own country' and then called a country a 'city'. Use 'it' to avoid repetition and use the correct noun 'country'. The trailing fragment 'So we have.' is an incomplete sentence; remove it or complete the thought. Suggestions: use pronoun 'it' after introducing the country, avoid calling a country a city, and finish or omit fragments.