Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and vary vocabulary; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail and a short reason. Avoid repetition (e.g., 'I love taking pictures' repeated) and filler phrases. Use a linking word when adding the reason.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views — it’s one of my main hobbies. For example, I often shoot cityscapes and landscapes and then post my best photos on Instagram, which helps me track my progress. Because it relaxes me and gives a sense of achievement, I usually spend weekends taking pictures.

提案: Provide a clearer topic sentence and organize supporting details with linking words. Replace hesitations ('umm') and list examples more smoothly. Use precise vocabulary and limit to two to four sentences.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because I’m drawn to natural scenery. For instance, I especially enjoy photographing lakes, forests and open skies, since the colours and peaceful atmosphere create stronger images than busy city scenes.

提案: Start with a direct answer and give one concise reason with a clear example. Eliminate repetitions and filler sounds ('uh') and correct basic grammar (singular/plural, articles). Use a linking word to contrast.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they feel novel and different from what I see every day at home. For example, when I travel I enjoy photographing unfamiliar architecture and landscapes, which inspires me and improves my composition skills.

× I love taking pictures and then I post it in my Instagram and I keep looking at it again and again.

✓ I love taking pictures and then I post them on my Instagram and keep looking at them again and again.

Plural objects of 'pictures' require the pronoun 'them' rather than 'it'; use 'on Instagram' not 'in my Instagram'; omit the second subject 'I' before 'keep' to avoid repetition and because the verb shares the same subject. Suggestion: replace 'it' with 'them', use the preposition 'on' for social media, and streamline the sentence by removing the repeated subject.

× I love both you, but I prefer most the view in rural areas because I'm a person who loves something natural, especially a view of lakes or umm, forest with the trees and the skies, A sea, a river.

✓ I love both, but I prefer the views in rural areas because I'm someone who loves natural scenes, especially views of lakes, forests with trees and the sky, the sea, or rivers.

'I love both you' incorrectly addresses the examiner; 'both' needs no 'you' here. 'Prefer most the view' is awkward—use 'prefer the views' or 'prefer ... most'. 'A person who loves something natural' is unnatural; use 'someone who loves natural scenes'. Noun plurality must be consistent: use plural 'views', 'forests', 'rivers'. Capitalization error: 'A sea' should be lowercase and parallel structure should list items with consistent forms. Suggestion: remove 'you', use 'prefer the views in rural areas' and keep parallel plural nouns and consistent phrasing.

× I actually prefer views of another countries because the views in my countries is the one that I already look at it every day, but in another countries is somethings, uh, different.

✓ I actually prefer views in other countries because the views in my country are ones that I see every day, but in other countries they are something different.

Use 'other countries' (plural) or 'another country' (singular) consistently; 'views of another countries' mixes singular and plural. 'My countries' should be 'my country' (singular) if referring to where the speaker lives; verb agreement: 'the views in my country are' (plural subject 'views' needs 'are'). Remove redundant 'that I already look at it'—use 'that I see'. 'In another countries is somethings different' has multiple errors: incorrect preposition, number agreement, and 'somethings' should be 'something' and needs a subject 'they are'. Suggestion: choose singular or plural consistently, match verb number to subject, remove redundant pronouns, and use 'they are something different' to describe the views.

× It is, uh, it is, uh, the view is different from my country and.

✓ The view is different from that in my country.

Avoid repeated fillers and redundant clauses. 'Different from my country' is acceptable but more precise is 'different from that in my country' to compare 'the view' with 'the view in my country'. Also remove the trailing conjunction 'and' which leaves the sentence incomplete. Suggestion: simplify to a single clear comparative clause and remove fillers.