Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 표현을 더 자연스럽게 고치고, 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요. 현재 답변은 의사 전달은 되지만 어순과 시제, 관사 사용에서 오류가 있습니다(예: "for some nights in travel", "like take picture"). 또한 이유나 감정을 덧붙여 답변을 풍부하게 하고, 한두 개의 구체적 예시(카메라 종류, 특정 장소 또는 사진 촬영하는 방식)를 추가하면 더 설득력 있게 들립니다. 마지막으로 문장은 3~4문장으로 자연스럽게 연결되도록 연결어를 사용하세요.

例: Yes, I love photographing different views because it helps me remember places. For example, when I stay at a hotel while traveling, I often photograph the ocean from my balcony. I usually wake up early to capture the soft morning light, which makes the colours much more vivid.

提案: 문장구조와 관용표현을 자연스럽게 다듬으세요. 현재 문장은 의미 전달이 되지만 어순과 관사 사용, 시제 문제가 있고 일부 표현이 부자연스럽습니다(예: "especially in night", "it brightly shines"). 또한 선호 이유를 더 구체적으로 설명하고 연결어(therefore, moreover 등)를 사용해 논리를 강화하세요.

例: I prefer urban views, especially at night, because the city lights create a lively atmosphere. For instance, looking out of a high-rise window, I enjoy seeing illuminated skyscrapers and traffic streams, which feel energetic and modern.

提案: 표현을 더 자연스럽고 정확하게 고치세요. 단어 선택과 어순(예: "reflecting lights", "It gives a fresh")에서 어색함이 있습니다. 또한 개인적 이유(어떤 점이 특별한지, 감정이나 추억)를 하나 덧붙여 구체성을 높이고 연결어로 흐름을 매끄럽게 만드세요.

例: I prefer views in my own country, especially Seoul, because they feel familiar and nostalgic. For example, from Namsan Tower you can see the Han River shimmering with the city lights, which is a very relaxing sight and reminds me of evenings spent with friends.

× For example when I go to the hotel for some nights in travel, I like take picture of ocean views.

✓ For example, when I stay at a hotel for a few nights while traveling, I like taking pictures of ocean views.

Incorrect verb + -ing form and related phrase errors. 'Like take picture' is ungrammatical; after 'like' a gerund is needed: 'like taking pictures.' Use plural 'pictures' for general activity. 'Go to the hotel for some nights in travel' is awkward; use 'stay at a hotel for a few nights while traveling' to convey the intended meaning. Also add necessary articles and commas. Suggestions: use 'like taking pictures', pluralize 'pictures', use 'stay at a hotel' and 'while traveling'.

× Personally I prefer views in urban areas because especially in night, if we see through the window the city, it brightly shines with the lights in the buildings.

✓ Personally, I prefer views in urban areas because especially at night, when we look through the window at the city, it shines brightly with the lights in the buildings.

Multiple present-tense and adverb placement issues. Use 'at night' not 'in night'. 'If we see through the window the city' is awkward; use 'when we look through the window at the city.' Adverb 'brightly' should follow the verb 'shines' ('it shines brightly'). Also add commas for clarity. Suggestions: use 'at night', 'when we look', 'at the city', and place adverbs after the verb ('shines brightly').

× I prefer views in my country, especially in Seoul. If we go up on the Namsan Tower, we can see the beautiful Han River with reflecting lights. It gives a fresh.

✓ I prefer views in my country, especially in Seoul. If we go up Namsan Tower, we can see the beautiful Han River with reflected lights. It feels refreshing.

Tense and word-form errors. 'Go up on the Namsan Tower' is odd; use 'go up Namsan Tower' or 'go up to Namsan Tower.' 'Reflecting lights' should be 'reflected lights' or 'lights reflecting off the water.' 'It gives a fresh' is ungrammatical; use an adjective phrase like 'It feels refreshing.' Suggestions: use 'go up Namsan Tower' or 'go up to Namsan Tower', use 'reflected lights' or 'lights reflecting...', and replace 'It gives a fresh' with 'It feels refreshing' or 'It gives a fresh feeling'.