Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct minor grammar (e.g., 'on on', 'in the camera').

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views when I travel. For example, on hill stations I often take wide shots of the valleys and close-ups of wildflowers, because they capture the atmosphere and help me remember the trip.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then explain with clear reasons and one comparison. Avoid vague phrases like 'I think' repeated and correct grammar ('areas has'). Use linking words such as 'because' and 'however'.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because there is more greenery and open space. However, urban areas can be attractive too, for example the skyline at sunrise, which offers a different kind of beauty.

提案: Give a clear, direct stance (e.g., 'It depends' then explain why). Reduce hesitation and correct odd phrases ('click pictures in my foot phone'). Provide specific contrasting examples and use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

例: It depends on the destination because different countries offer distinct landscapes. For example, in my country I enjoy photographing traditional villages and mountains, while abroad I focus on modern architecture and coastal scenes.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different scenery views whenever I go on on any trip or any hill station, especially there, I like to capture those, uh, beautiful scenery views in the camera.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different scenic views whenever I go on any trip or to any hill station; especially there, I like to capture those beautiful scenery views with my camera.

Errors: extra auxiliary 'do' is unnecessary with 'like' in simple present; 'scenery views' is awkward — use 'scenic views' or 'scenery'; repeated 'on on' is a typo; preposition 'to' is needed with 'hill station'; 'in the camera' should be 'with my camera'. Suggestion: Use simple present 'I like' for habits, choose correct adjective 'scenic', remove duplicated words, use correct prepositions, and use 'with' to indicate the instrument. Grammar problem type ID:10

× I think there is a much greenery, more greenery in rural areas, so I prefer accordingly because urban areas has a very beautiful sunrise and yeah.

✓ I think there is much more greenery in rural areas, so I prefer them; urban areas have very beautiful sunrises though.

Errors: word order and quantifier 'a much greenery' is incorrect — use 'much more greenery'; 'rural areas' is plural so refer with 'them' or rephrase; 'urban areas has' has subject-verb number mismatch — 'areas' requires 'have'; 'a very beautiful sunrise' should be plural or rephrased to match 'areas' ('sunrises'). Suggestion: Use correct quantifier order 'much more', ensure plural agreement between subject and verb, and make noun number consistent. Grammar problem type ID:1

× I think it depends, uh, uh, whenever I go anywhere in my country or either outside my country or for any foreign trip.

✓ I think it depends; whenever I travel within my country or go abroad for a trip,

Errors: awkward phrasing 'go anywhere in my country or either outside my country or for any foreign trip' and repetition 'uh'. Use 'travel within my country' and 'go abroad'. Maintain present simple 'I think it depends' and use concise parallel structure. Suggestion: Use clear, parallel verbs ('travel', 'go') and avoid filler words. Grammar problem type ID:6

× So I prefer to click pictures in my foot, foot phone or uh, I like to capture different kinds of views.

✓ So I prefer to take pictures on my phone, and I like to capture different kinds of views.

Errors: 'click pictures in my foot, foot phone' is incorrect — 'click' is informal but acceptable; 'foot phone' is wrong word choice; use 'take pictures on my phone' or 'with my phone'. Remove filler 'uh' and use conjunction for clarity. Suggestion: Use correct device noun 'phone' and correct preposition 'on' or 'with', and prefer 'take pictures' for natural speech. Grammar problem type ID:12