Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar; use a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and give one or two specific details linked smoothly. Also correct vocabulary and sentence structure (e.g., plural/singular, article use) and avoid filler words. Aim for 3–4 well-formed sentences with linking words such as “for example” or “because.”

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because each scene has its own beauty. For example, I often photograph trees and parks because I love how green and lush they look. I also focus on interesting textures and light to capture the atmosphere.

提案: Start with a direct one-sentence preference, then give specific reasons without repetition and avoid incorrect or inappropriate words (e.g., “sexist value”). Use linking phrases like “because” and “for example.” Keep sentences grammatically correct and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views because I enjoy the natural scenery and peaceful atmosphere. For example, I love seeing green trees, clear blue skies, and colorful flowers, which make me feel relaxed and connected to nature. In contrast, urban views often feel busy and noisy to me.

提案: Answer directly and coherently: state your current preference and give reasons, then briefly mention future interest. Correct tense and grammar (e.g., “traveled,” “cultures,” “how it looks”). Avoid trailing off; finish the thought. Use linking words like “however” or “although.”

例: At the moment I prefer views in my own country because I have not traveled abroad and I know the landscapes well. However, I would love to travel one day to experience other cultures and see different cityscapes and nightlife. Visiting other countries would help me compare and appreciate new kinds of scenery.

× I love taking pictures of different view because they have different kind of beauty

✓ I love taking pictures of different views because they have different kinds of beauty

The noun 'view' should be plural 'views' to match 'different'. Also 'different kind of beauty' should be 'different kinds of beauty' (plural noun + plural of 'kind') to be grammatically correct and agree in number. Suggestion: use 'different views' and 'different kinds of beauty'.

× I love taking pictures of different view because they have different kind of beauty they they have different kind of aesthetic swallow I like when I take pictures of trees, I love how green and lush they are Sometimes I take the picture of.

✓ I love taking pictures of different views because they have different kinds of aesthetic appeal. I like taking pictures of trees; I love how green and lush they are. Sometimes I take close-up pictures of flowers or leaves.

Several issues: 'aesthetic swallow' is incorrect word choice and likely meant 'aesthetic appeal' (noun). 'I like when I take pictures of trees' is awkward; 'I like taking pictures of trees' uses the present participle correctly. 'Sometimes I take the picture of.' is an incomplete sentence missing an object; provide a clear object such as 'close-up pictures of flowers or leaves'. Keep verb forms consistent (present continuous/gerund) when describing habits.

× I love rural area view because like I said earlier, I said I like the sexist value of trees, how green they are and the blue skies and sometimes the color of the flowers.

✓ I love rural area views because, like I said earlier, I like the sight of trees, how green they are, the blue skies, and sometimes the colors of the flowers.

Use plural 'views' to match general preference. 'Sexist value' is incorrect and likely a mispronunciation of 'scenic' or 'sight'; 'sight' or 'scenic beauty' are appropriate. 'Color' should be plural 'colors' when referring to various flowers. Also add commas for clarity.

× They they make me be In Sync with nature.

✓ They make me feel in sync with nature.

Double 'they' is repetition error. 'Make me be in sync' is unnatural; the correct collocation is 'make me feel in sync' or 'make me feel connected to nature'. Use lowercase and standard capitalization.

× I cannot say actually because I've never been in another country.

✓ I can't say, actually, because I've never been to another country.

Use 'been to' for visiting countries (preposition 'to' required). 'Cannot' can be contracted to 'can't' for natural speech; either is acceptable. Maintain present perfect 'I've never been to' for life experience.

× I have never travel outside my country before.

✓ I have never traveled outside my country before.

After 'have/has' use the past participle form 'traveled' (or 'travelled' British spelling). The original used base form 'travel', which is incorrect. Keep present perfect for experience.

× So I would say I prefer the view in my country because I know how it looks likes.

✓ So I would say I prefer the views in my country because I know how they look.

Use plural 'views' to refer generally. 'Looks likes' is incorrect; use 'look' to agree with plural subject 'they'. Remove redundant 'likes'.

× But I would really love to travel to experience others culture and their nightlife and see their their.

✓ But I would really love to travel to experience other cultures and their nightlife and see their sights.

Use the adjective 'other' not possessive 'others' before 'culture'; plural 'cultures' fits better when speaking generally. 'See their their.' has repetition and is incomplete; replace with 'see their sights' or 'see their attractions'. Ensure nouns agree in number and remove duplicate word.