Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (“uh”), and add one specific example with a linking word to support your point. Keep it under five sentences and vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., “landscapes,” “sunrise,” “sunset,” “horizon”).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially natural landscapes. For example, when I visit hill areas I often photograph the sunrise and sunset over the horizon because the light creates beautiful colours. I prefer capturing wide vistas and close-up details of plants to show variety.

提案: Improve sentence structure and clarity: open with a direct topic sentence, use linking words (for example, however, because), replace vague phrases with specific descriptions, and avoid repetition. Limit to 2–3 sentences and use plural/singular forms correctly (e.g., “skyscrapers,” “sunrise and sunset”).

例: I prefer rural views because they offer varied natural scenery. For example, in the countryside I can photograph green fields and mountains where the sunrise and sunset create dramatic colours, whereas urban areas mostly have skyscrapers and busy roads.

提案: Be more concise and organized: state preference first, then give two specific details using linking words (for example, because, for instance). Remove fillers and correct grammar (e.g., “sunrise” not “sun rises”). Provide vivid, specific images rather than repeating general words like “very.”

例: I prefer views in my own country because Nepal has stunning natural scenery. For instance, in the hills you can see terraced fields, rivers flowing down the mountains, and spectacular sunrises between the peaks, which make great photo opportunities.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views, like different scenes.

✓ Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views, such as different scenes.

The original sentence is mostly correct but 'like' used before examples can be replaced with 'such as' for clearer, more formal example introduction. Use 'such as' when giving examples.

× When I go for visiting new areas, especially in the hill areas, I love to take the pictures of new scenes, uh, especially of the nature, sunrise, sundown and the horizon that I love to take pictures And I think that is.

✓ When I visit new areas, especially hill regions, I love to take pictures of new scenes, especially nature: the sunrise, the sunset, and the horizon.

Problems: 'go for visiting' is incorrect structure; use 'visit' or 'go to' (Grammar problem type 26). 'the hill areas' should be 'hill regions' or 'hilly areas' (article/adjective choice). 'the pictures of new scenes' should be 'pictures of new scenes' (unnecessary article). 'sundown' is less common than 'sunset'. The sentence was run-on and unfinished; the correction splits ideas and uses correct noun forms and word order.

× I do prefer view of rural area because in urban area there are only skyscraper and the roads and metros that's only to view, nothing new to see every time.

✓ I prefer views of rural areas because in urban areas there are only skyscrapers, roads, and metros; there's not something new to see every time.

Problems: 'I do prefer view of rural area' needs plural 'views' and plural 'areas' (Grammar problem type 1). 'skyscraper' should be plural 'skyscrapers' and 'the roads and metros' is awkward—use plural forms without unnecessary definite article. 'that's only to view' is ungrammatical; express as 'there's not something new to see every time' or 'there's nothing new to see each time.' Correction fixes number agreement and phrasing.

× But if you go to the rural area you can see this view of greenery and the beautiful sunrise and sundown between the mountain and the beauty.

✓ But if you go to rural areas you can see greenery and a beautiful sunrise or sunset between the mountains.

Problems: use plural 'rural areas' for general statements (Grammar problem type 1). 'the beautiful sunrise and sundown between the mountain and the beauty' is unclear and ungrammatical; 'between the mountains' is idiomatic, and 'beauty' is unnecessary. Use 'a beautiful sunrise or sunset' and plural 'mountains'.

× Well, in that case, I would say I prefer view of my own country because my country is Nepal and it's so very beautiful and, uh, full of nature.

✓ Well, in that case, I would say I prefer views of my own country because my country, Nepal, is very beautiful and full of nature.

Problems: 'prefer view of my own country' needs plural 'views' (also quantifier/plural issue but here clarified as pronoun/phrase) and the clause 'my country is Nepal and it's so very beautiful' is better combined: 'my country, Nepal, is very beautiful...' This improves clarity and removes filler words.

× If you go, especially in the hillside, you can see the very greenery scene, uh, river flowing down the mountains and, uh, sun rises between the, uh, mountains is, and you can see.

✓ If you go, especially to the hillside, you can see very green scenery, rivers flowing down the mountains, and the sun rising between the mountains.

Problems: 'go ... in the hillside' should be 'go to the hillside' (preposition correction; Grammar problem type 11). 'the very greenery scene' is ungrammatical — use 'very green scenery' (adjective use). 'river flowing' should be plural 'rivers flowing' or 'a river flowing' to match context (number agreement). 'sun rises' should be 'the sun rising' to maintain parallel structure and correct participle form (Grammar problem types 8 and 10). The correction fixes prepositions, adjective forms, noun number, and verb form for smooth parallel list.