Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Parla in modo più naturale e coerente: evita esitazioni e ripetizioni, usa il tempo verbale corretto e rendi la frase più diretta. Aggiungi un dettaglio specifico per arricchire la risposta (perché ti piace, che tipo di momenti catturi).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photos help me preserve special moments, such as family gatherings or sunsets at the beach. For instance, I often capture candid smiles during celebrations to remember the atmosphere.

提案: Riduci le esitazioni e organizza meglio le idee: inizia con una frase chiara che risponda direttamente, poi aggiungi due dettagli concreti usando parole di collegamento. Sostituisci parole vaghe con vocaboli più precisi (es. peaceful, fresh air).

例: I prefer rural areas because they feel more peaceful and relaxing. For example, I enjoy the fresh air and the way sunlight filters through trees, which makes for beautiful photos and a calm atmosphere.

提案: Evita lunghe esitazioni e rendi la spiegazione logica e chiara: rispondi direttamente, spiega il motivo con esempi specifici e usa parole di transizione per collegare le idee. Evita affermazioni confuse come "we can see them every day" quando intendi il contrario.

例: I prefer views in other countries because traveling exposes me to new landscapes and cultures. For example, when I spend a week abroad I notice unique architecture and local scenery that I wouldn’t see at home, so those views feel more special.

× I really liked taking pictures of different views and in particular capture umm, different moments of our lives or other other one lives.

✓ I really like taking pictures of different views and, in particular, capturing different moments of our lives or other people's lives.

The student mixes past tense 'liked' with a general preference; use present simple 'like'. After 'in particular' the verb should be in -ing form 'capturing' to parallel 'taking'. 'Other one lives' is incorrect; use 'other people's lives' for possession. Improve by keeping tense consistent (present simple) and using parallel gerunds. Suggestions: Use present simple for habits/preferences, use gerunds for parallel actions, and use possessive form for 'other people'.

× Personally, I prefer uh, rural areas. Uh, it feels more umm, serenity and uh, I really like umm, for example, the sun, the wind, the natural elements.

✓ Personally, I prefer rural areas. They feel more serene, and I really like, for example, the sun, the wind, and other natural elements.

The phrase 'it feels more serenity' is incorrect: 'serenity' is a noun; we need an adjective 'serene' to describe areas or 'feel more serene'. Also 'it' is vague when referring to plural 'rural areas' so use 'they'. List items need 'and' and commas. Improve by using the adjective form and correct pronoun agreement. Suggestions: Match subject number with pronoun, use adjectives to describe feelings, and punctuate lists clearly.

× I love traveling, so I really prefer, uh, views in other countries, uh, because, uh, uh, we can see them, uh, every day. So, uh, I appreciate it. I appreciate them, uh, more, uh, when, uh, I'm, when I'm there for a week, for example.

✓ I love traveling, so I really prefer views in other countries because we cannot see them every day at home, so I appreciate them more when I'm there for a week, for example.

The original sentences have unclear logic and tense/meaning problems. 'Because we can see them every day' contradicts preferring other countries; likely intent is 'we cannot see them every day at home' or 'we can only see local views every day'. Also repetitive 'I appreciate it. I appreciate them' is redundant and has pronoun inconsistency. The correction clarifies the reason and uses present simple consistently for a general preference. Suggestions: State the reason clearly, avoid repetition, ensure pronouns match their antecedents and maintain consistent present tense for general statements.