Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid short fragments, reduce redundancy, and finish with a specific detail. Use linking words to connect ideas. Also correct grammar (e.g., tense and articles) and remove the unclear final phrase.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially natural landscapes. For example, when I traveled with my husband to Belgium, France and Greece, I took many photos because their scenery was memorable and beautiful. In particular, I loved capturing coastal cliffs and historic towns, which created lasting memories.

提案: Clarify and organize your answer: give a clear preference, explain reasons with specific examples, and avoid repetition and filler words. Use linking words (for example, moreover, however) and correct subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'they offer'). Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: I prefer views in urban areas because they offer a mix of modern architecture and green spaces. For example, many cities have waterfronts or parks where you can relax; moreover, urban areas often combine cultural attractions with pleasant tree-lined streets.

提案: Reduce hesitation and be specific: state your preference clearly, avoid filler words ('uh'), and provide concrete details (names of places, types of landscapes). Use linking words to structure the answer and correct grammar (e.g., 'a mix of' + noun). Keep it within 2–4 concise sentences.

例: I prefer the views in my home state, New Jersey, because it has a good mix of landscapes. For example, there are beautiful coastal beaches, wooded state parks like the Pine Barrens, and scenic riverside areas that I often visit for walks and photos.

× I took many pictures when I traveled with my husband to Belgium, France and Greece because their scenery are memorable and beautiful.

✓ I took many pictures when I traveled with my husband to Belgium, France and Greece because their scenery is memorable and beautiful.

The noun 'scenery' is an uncountable singular noun, so it requires a singular verb 'is' rather than 'are'. Use 'is' for uncountable nouns and treat 'scenery' as singular. Suggestion: Use 'scenery is' or rephrase to 'the landscapes are' if you want a plural noun.

× Moreover, it's totally different about the.

✓ Moreover, it's totally different there.

The original sentence is incomplete and uses incorrect preposition/phrase 'about the'. The intended meaning is likely referring to the scenery being different 'there'. Replace the fragment with a complete adverbial phrase 'there' or specify what 'the' refers to. Suggestion: Say 'Moreover, it's totally different there.' or 'Moreover, the scenery there is totally different.'

× Actually I prefer views in urban areas because they it offers a mix of nature and modern environment.

✓ Actually I prefer views in urban areas because they offer a mix of nature and the modern environment.

Subject 'they' (views) is plural and requires the plural verb 'offer', not 'offers'. The original mistakenly included both 'they' and 'it' and a singular verb. Also add 'the' before 'modern environment' for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'they offer' when the subject is plural; remove the extraneous 'it'.

× For example, you can enjoy modern and agriculture and the green spaces.

✓ For example, you can enjoy modern architecture, agriculture, and green spaces.

The original has unclear coordination and missing parallel structure. 'Modern' needs a noun to pair with (e.g., 'architecture'); 'agriculture' fits but list items should be parallel and separated by commas. Suggestion: Use parallel nouns in a list: 'modern architecture, agriculture, and green spaces.'

× And if you want a peace and a quiet area, you can go to the port to enjoy with your family and you can enjoy.

✓ If you want peace and a quiet area, you can go to the port to relax with your family.

The phrase 'a peace' is incorrect because 'peace' is uncountable and should not take 'a'. The sentence is repetitive ('you can enjoy' twice) and 'enjoy with your family' is awkward without an object. 'Relax with your family' is clearer and concise. Suggestion: Remove the article before uncountable nouns and avoid repetition: 'If you want peace and a quiet area, you can go to the port to relax with your family.'

× Actually, I prefer the view in my own country, New Jersey, because it offers mix of, uh, scanning and, uh, variety of natural landscape.

✓ Actually, I prefer the views in my own state, New Jersey, because it offers a mix of scenery and a variety of natural landscapes.

Errors: 'the view' vs plural 'views' (context prefers plural), missing article 'a' before 'mix', 'scanning' is incorrect word choice for 'scenery', and 'landscape' should be plural 'landscapes'. 'Country' is incorrect for 'New Jersey' which is a state; use 'state' or 'area'. Suggestion: Use articles where needed ('a mix'), choose correct vocabulary ('scenery'), and match singular/plural forms ('landscapes').

× For example, it has beautiful, uh, coast, coast coastal, uh, and uh, uh, parks with, uh, a high, a lot of trees and more.

✓ For example, it has beautiful coasts, coastal areas, and parks with a lot of trees and more.

The original repeats words ('coast, coast coastal'), uses inconsistent forms and incorrect article 'a high, a lot of trees'. Use plural 'coasts' or 'a beautiful coast' consistently, and 'a lot of trees' is correct without 'a high'. Also 'coastal areas' is more natural. Suggestion: Clean up repetitions and choose consistent singular or plural nouns: 'beautiful coasts, coastal areas, and parks with a lot of trees.'