Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is enthusiastic and relevant, but it has several grammatical errors, some redundancy, and is overly long. Aim to give a clear topic sentence, then one or two concise supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and word choice errors (e.g., “I have always been keen on photography,” “I have been an observant child,” “I love taking photos”). Keep to a maximum of 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. I have been keen on photography since childhood and enjoy observing small details in landscapes. For example, I often photograph sunsets and rivers to capture the mood and colours.

提案: Your preference is clear, but the answer is repetitive and contains hesitation and filler phrases. Use a direct topic sentence followed by two specific supporting reasons, connected by linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example,” “so”). Avoid repeating the same words and reduce pauses. Also fix minor grammar (e.g., “the the,” “I love” at the end is unnecessary).

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are more serene and offer varied landscapes. For example, I enjoy photographing fields, rivers and traditional villages, which provide more natural colours and calm than busy cities.

提案: Good idea to mention diversity, but the answer has hesitations, repetition and informal fillers (umm, uh). Structure it: state your preference, give two specific reasons with linking words, and finish with a brief concluding sentence. Avoid repeating words and be concise.

例: I prefer views in my own country because India has extremely diverse scenery, from the Himalayas to tranquil lakes. For instance, I can photograph snowy mountains in the north and tropical beaches in the south, so I rarely feel the need to travel abroad for different landscapes.

× Certainly I love taking pictures of different views because I have always seen very keen about knowing things about photography and I since childhood I have been an observant kid.

✓ Certainly. I love taking pictures of different views because I have always been very keen to learn about photography, and since childhood I have been an observant kid.

The original sentence has awkward word order and incorrect verb/preposition choices ('seen very keen about' is incorrect). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Use 'keen to learn about' for interest in a subject, place 'since childhood' next to the verb it modifies, and add conjunction punctuation to separate ideas. Suggestion: simplify phrases and keep verbs and prepositions standard (keen to learn, observe since childhood).

× So I always loved clicking pictures of different views, different landscapes and I also wanted to capture the essence of the life.

✓ So I have always loved taking pictures of different views and landscapes, and I also want to capture the essence of life.

This sentence mixes past tense 'loved' with present intentions 'wanted' and uses 'clicking' which is informal; it's a tense and verb form issue (ID 10). Use present perfect 'have always loved' to connect past habit to present, use 'taking' instead of 'clicking' for natural collocation, and 'want' (present) to express ongoing desire. Remove unnecessary article 'the' before 'life'.

× So yes, I loved it.

✓ So yes, I love it.

The student uses past tense 'loved' while describing a current preference, causing a sentence structure/tense mismatch (ID 26). Use present simple 'love' to state a current preference. Keep tenses consistent across the response.

× To be honest, I prefer the views in rural areas and I as I feel that the the views are serene and I can take a lot and there are a lot of picturesque views there.

✓ To be honest, I prefer the views in rural areas because I feel that the views are serene and there are many picturesque scenes to photograph.

The original contains a repeated 'the the', awkward phrasing 'I can take a lot', and wordiness. This is an article/structure problem (ID 17). Remove duplicate 'the', replace vague 'take a lot' with 'photograph many scenes', and use 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for clarity. Streamline clauses with 'because' for reason.

× In rural areas you can see a lot of different landscapes and the beauty of nature there.

✓ In rural areas you can see many different landscapes and the beauty of nature.

Redundant 'there' at the end and informal 'a lot of'—this is a sentence structure and word choice issue (ID 26). Use 'many' for countable 'landscapes' and remove redundant words for conciseness.

× So I definitely prefer rural areas I love.

✓ So I definitely prefer rural areas; I love them.

Run-on sentence lacking proper punctuation and missing object 'them' for 'rural areas' (ID 26). Separate into two clauses with a semicolon or period and include the pronoun 'them' to refer back to 'rural areas'.

× I prefer views in my own country as India has diverse landscapes, umm, whether it is Himalayas, the mountain ranges or tranquil lakes or or a lot of rivers that are present in India, you can get all the seasons here.

✓ I prefer views in my own country, as India has diverse landscapes, whether it is the Himalayas and mountain ranges, tranquil lakes, or many rivers; you can experience all the seasons here.

The sentence has multiple issues including repeated 'or', wrong quantifier 'a lot of rivers', and missing article 'the' before 'Himalayas'—this aligns with quantifier and article problems (ID 14 and 17). Use 'many' for countable 'rivers', include 'the' before 'Himalayas', remove repetition, and break into clearer clause with semicolon. Also replace 'get' with more precise 'experience'.

× Uh, but I feel that I love the serene views coming from my house.

✓ But I feel that I love the serene views near my house.

'Coming from my house' is an odd phrase for views; this is a present tense/word choice issue (ID 6). Use 'near my house' or 'around my house' to indicate location of views. Keep present tense 'feel' and 'love' consistent.