Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and relevant, but it is slightly repetitive and could be more concise and specific. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (when/where, what you photograph, why). Use a linking phrase to connect ideas and avoid repeating 'I love' multiple times.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views, especially natural landscapes. For example, when I go hiking in nearby hills I often photograph sweeping valley scenes and close-ups of wildflowers because the light and colours change a lot during the walk.

提案: The main idea is clear, but the answer contains unclear phrasing and filler (e.g., 'saying Green Day' and 'UMM'). Improve precision by replacing fillers with concrete details and using a linking word to expand. Keep it to two to three sentences and give a specific example of rural scenery you like.

例: I prefer rural views because they offer more natural scenery and a peaceful atmosphere. For example, I enjoy photographing rolling green fields, dense woodlands and distant mountain ridgelines when I visit the countryside.

提案: You state a clear preference, but the grammar and examples need polishing. Avoid absolute words like 'any' which can sound awkward; instead say 'other countries' or 'abroad'. Provide a brief reason and one specific example of a scene you like abroad, and use a linking word to connect the reason and example.

例: I usually prefer views abroad because my country is more urbanised with many skyscrapers, while I prefer natural scenery. For example, I love the Alpine landscapes in Switzerland and the lakeside vistas in parts of the UK, which feel more tranquil and scenic.

× I really enjoy when I go for a hike or a walk.

✓ I really enjoy going for a hike or a walk.

The original uses 'enjoy' followed by a clause with 'when I go', which is acceptable but less natural; after verbs of liking/enjoying we normally use the -ing form. Use the gerund 'going' to follow 'enjoy' for correct and natural structure.

× I prefer views in rural areas because in rural areas there is more natural scenery and it is very peaceful.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because there is more natural scenery and it is very peaceful there.

Repeating 'in rural areas' is redundant and the sentence ends awkwardly. Move or add a final 'there' to clarify location and remove the repeated phrase for conciseness. This corrects prepositional and stylistic redundancy.

× For example, I enjoy saying Green Day, trees, mountains and UMM.

✓ For example, I enjoy seeing green fields, trees, mountains and, um, more natural landscapes.

The phrase 'enjoy saying' is incorrect because 'saying' means to speak words; the student likely means 'seeing' (a verb of perception) or 'enjoys' followed by a noun. Also 'Green Day' is a proper noun (a band) and likely a mistake; replace with 'green fields' or similar. 'UMM' is an interjection and should be rendered as 'um' or removed. Clarify items into parallel noun phrases.

× I prefer views in any other country because in my country there are skyscrapers and more man made things.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because my country has skyscrapers and more man-made structures.

'Any other country' is awkward; 'other countries' is the usual plural form when comparing generally. Also 'there are' with 'in my country' is grammatical but wordy; use 'my country has' for natural subject-verb order. 'Man made' should be hyphenated as 'man-made' and 'things' is vague — 'structures' is more precise.

× I like nature and for example in Switzerland, UK.

✓ I like nature; for example, Switzerland and the UK have beautiful natural scenery.

The original is a sentence fragment lacking a proper verb phrase after 'for example'. It just lists places with no verb. Provide a complete clause: state that those countries 'have' or 'offer' natural scenery. Also include the definite article 'the' before 'UK'.