Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise: give a clear topic sentence, avoid pauses and fillers, and add one specific reason or example. Use plural/singular correctly (many perspectives).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because it helps me notice new perspectives. For example, I often photograph city skylines at sunset to capture changing light and colors.

提案: Start with a clear direct answer, reduce repetition and fillers, and give a specific supporting detail using a linking word (e.g., because, for example). Keep it to 2–4 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views because I enjoy wide landscapes and quiet surroundings. For example, I like photographing rolling hills and forests where there are fewer people and more natural scenes.

提案: Answer directly and correct pronunciation/grammar (e.g., 'prefer views in my own country'). Use one or two specific examples and link them with 'for example' or 'such as' to be more natural and concise.

例: I prefer views in my own country because Indonesia has many beautiful landscapes. For example, we have stunning beaches like Kuta in Bali and dramatic mountain areas that are great for photography.

× I like taking pictures of different views to see, uh, many perspective, many new. Uh, pictures?

✓ I like taking pictures of different views to see many perspectives and new scenes.

The student used 'many perspective' which is incorrect because 'perspective' is a countable noun and needs the plural form 'perspectives' when used with 'many'. Also 'many new' is incomplete and needs a noun such as 'scenes'. Suggestion: use plural nouns with 'many' and include the noun after descriptive words.

× I prefer views in rural areas because, uh, I prefer to see more of the landscape than, uh, to see many people crowding around in the city like that.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I prefer to see more of the landscape than to see many people crowding around in the city.

The original sentence has an unnecessary comma and extraneous phrasing 'like that' which is informal, and the prepositional idea 'in the city' is correct but punctuation and redundancy disrupt clarity. This correction removes extra filler and keeps the correct preposition 'in the city'. Suggestion: avoid filler words and keep comparative structures parallel ('to see... than to see...').

× Umm, I also like to photograph or prefer, prefer views, uh, like in the.

✓ I also prefer to photograph rural views.

The original is fragmented and repeats 'prefer' and ends with an incomplete prepositional phrase 'like in the.' This is a sentence structure error: the idea must be completed and redundancy removed. Suggestion: state the object of 'prefer' clearly and avoid repeating verbs.

× I prefer fuse in my own country because, uh, as I live in Indonesia, there is much more beautiful views.

✓ I prefer fuze in my own country because, as I live in Indonesia, there are many more beautiful views.

Two issues: 'fuse' appears to be a mispronunciation but treated as a word here; main grammatical problem is 'there is much more beautiful views.' 'Views' is plural, so 'there are' should be used (subject-verb agreement), and 'many more' is the correct quantifier for countable plural nouns rather than 'much more.' Suggestion: use 'there are' with plural nouns and 'many' (or 'many more') with countable nouns.

× Uh, like, uh, we do have beautiful beaches and then we do have a beautiful mountain area like that. Like in the Bali, we have Kuta beach, which is very beautiful.

✓ We have beautiful beaches and a beautiful mountain area. In Bali, we have Kuta Beach, which is very beautiful.

'Like in the Bali' incorrectly uses the definite article 'the' before country/place name 'Bali' — most place names do not take 'the'. Also 'Kuta beach' should capitalize 'Beach' as a proper noun. Suggestion: drop 'the' before most country and island names and capitalize proper nouns; use 'a' before singular countable noun 'beautiful mountain area.'